Return PolishForums LIVE
  PolishForums Archive :
Archives - 2005-2009 / Love  % width 26

Advice Required for UK Man in love with Polish Woman


Jambo 2 | 106  
11 Jun 2007 /  #1
I would be grateful for advice;

1. I got to know a Polish woman (39) just over two months ago ( I am 52). She is lovely and I have fallen for her. Initially she was very loving and invited me to Katowice to meet her family in friends ( this only three weeks after meeting her). She then relocated to the village I live in working as a waitress in the hotel/golf club near my house and staying in the staff accommodation there.

2. She is Jewish and has been divorced twice. She has two children one 20 and one 13 in Poland. The 13 year old daughter is coming to the UK and as she cannot afford to rent a place ( staff accommodation cannot take children). As a result they are coming to my house to live when they come back from Poland.

3. She has a lover ( she initially described him as a good friend) in France who is married man and this has been going on 18 months and is still going on ( clearly he is not going to leave his wife). She became pregnant by him prior to meeting me and she miscarried in the UK and I looked after her generally and in hospital.This was horrendous.

4. She tells me she likes very very much but needs time to work out her feelings for me. Other Poilsh waitresses at the Hotel tell me she says she likes me very much. However because I love her so I find myself running after her like a puppy doiing her shopping, buying cigarettes etc and I feel so stupid. I do not like myself for this but cannot help it. Because of unsocial hours I do not see much of her. She also has other men in the UK who want to be her boyfriend.

5. She came to the UK to become Air Stewardess and she told me for the first time last night that she is having an interview July 5 and if she succeeds she will be relocating. Also she no longer tells me about her days off like she does not want me to know yet we went out over this weekend and had great fun

My friends are concerned she is using me. I have given her very little money. It is an emotional cost not a financial cost. I love her but at the moment get virtually nothing in return. I do not know whether as a Polish women she requires a long courtship or whether she is just stringing me along. She is still very affectionate towards me at times.

Advice please.
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
11 Jun 2007 /  #2
I think you're wasting your time with her. She obvioously has issues to work out.... why should you have to wait for a decision? Keep looking and once you find the right one there won't be any of this waiting around.

Good luck
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
11 Jun 2007 /  #3
Thanks for your advice.. I was not looking to meet someone. She just came into my life totally unexpectedly like a thunder bolt .Yes she has issues the married man being one and she says she needs time.Yes I could call it a day but I do not want to lose the chance of something special with her even if it is only a slim chance. We have had some great times and still do but less so now. I am hoping living together our relationship will blossom. If it dies at least I have tried.
AvJoeUK  
11 Jun 2007 /  #4
Blowing Cold and Hot is cruel Jambo, you need a serious thinking session.
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
11 Jun 2007 /  #5
Yes I could call it a day but I do not want to lose the chance of something special with her even if it is only a slim chance. We have had some great times and still do but less so now

Yes, but also think about what you can be missing by waiting around. I would keep your options open and maybe show less interest. Maybe she'll realize what she wants at that point.
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
11 Jun 2007 /  #6
Thanks mate. I do nothing else but think of this situation and what I should do. Yes I do wonder is she hot at times simply to have me around looking after her and then when she no longer needs what I do for her she will be off. If she gets her air stewardess job she will be off anyway. Maybe I just enjoy living with her for a while and then that is it subject to my emotional cost. If she was cold all the time I have an easy decision. I go to Greece friday for a weeks holiday and she goes back to Poland to collect her daughter. Maybe I am being too negative and just enjoy the time I have with her.

What I will never understand is why she invited me to Poland and relocate to my village if she does not really care for me.
Dutchmen 2 | 17  
11 Jun 2007 /  #7
I took the Orbis bus in Hengelo In the Netherlands direction Warsaw, I saw trhough the window nice Polish woman kissing and huging to her Dutch love.....she was saying goodbye.......nothing special for.....

In Poznan she get out of the bus.....and jump in the arm of a man...full kissing....like never before......And ofcourse she told the poor guy in Holland....I have to go to my family...to visit........

Good luck........and come on wake up...stop dreaming.....forward....
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
11 Jun 2007 /  #8
I would keep your options open and maybe show less interest. Maybe she'll realize what she wants at that point.

Yes this is good advice. We will not see each other for a week and I guess we both have a lot of thinking to do.
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
11 Jun 2007 /  #9
Well good luck to you :) Don't let life pass you by just because she's indecisive.
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
11 Jun 2007 /  #10
Yes I think you are right. I need just to focus on enjoying the time I have with her and leave it at that.
Amathyst 19 | 2,702  
11 Jun 2007 /  #11
You have heard the men now hear a womans point of view, she is a selfish b*tch with no morals, she has several men on the go and leaves her 13 year old child in Poland! I think you need to drop her like a hot potatoe! What would you think if an English woman behaved like this?
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
11 Jun 2007 /  #12
I think you need to drop her like a hot potatoe

Yeah!! LOL you have a point.

What would you think if an English woman behaved like this?

Yeah jambo...you know those british women.

;)
Amathyst 19 | 2,702  
11 Jun 2007 /  #13
Fisz, she's doing a french dude, she's got another English fella and she has probably got some poor sap in Poland.....she should start charging :)
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
11 Jun 2007 /  #14
That's definitely 2 too many :/

There's a better woman out there for you J

Take care.
beckski 12 | 1,617  
11 Jun 2007 /  #15
Other Poilsh waitresses at the Hotel tell me she says she likes me very much. However because I love her so I find myself running after her like a puppy doiing

It sounds like it's time for you to move on. Perhaps when the time is right, you should ask the Polish waitress from the hotel to get together, on a casual basis and take it from there.
Ken Noddy 2 | 161  
11 Jun 2007 /  #16
It sounds like it's time for you to move on.

This you must do. She is using you 100%. It is not a pleasant decision to make, but for your own pride, please end it asap.

because I love her so I find myself running after her like a puppy doiing her shopping, buying cigarettes etc and I feel so stupid.

You are in love with an ideal, but the reality just doesn't measure up. No-one, absolutely no-one, is worth that kind of hassle.

I understand how hard this is for you, a lot of us on here have been in similar positions. It is for the best.
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
12 Jun 2007 /  #17
Thanks for all your good advice. Of course you are right I must stop and I will.

Just to say I have split with her. Your sound advice gave me strength to do so. Thanks very much for your help. I now move on albeit with a heavy heart.
Teng 1 | 14  
12 Jun 2007 /  #18
Jombo, if i were you, i will go away and forget this girl. She has complicated life. Some time life is simple but depend of that person how is she/he to built up.
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
12 Jun 2007 /  #19
Yes you are right. We have split today. I need to move on but it will take a long time to get over her. If she had told me at the outset she loved another man I would not have got involved with her. But she did not say until she miscarried. By then I had fallen for her.Friends think that she got involved with me because she knew she was pregnant when we met and she needed someone to support her. I guess I will never know the real truth. But now I need to stop loving her and I can only do this by splitting with her.
Ken Noddy 2 | 161  
12 Jun 2007 /  #20
Well done, that is such a brave and difficult thing to do. It was the right move. It always takes a wee while to get over. Respect.
Przemo - | 4  
12 Jun 2007 /  #21
Very good choice Jambo...and good luck in the future mate. There is a many other polish singles who are seeking true love in the UK. Best
curlyspy007 - | 93  
12 Jun 2007 /  #22
hi jambo, its good you split from her to save yourself from falling any deeper, time is a great healer and i hope its sooner rather than later for you...good things come when you least expect it...take care
OP Jambo 2 | 106  
13 Jun 2007 /  #23
Thank you all very much for your good wishes they mean a lot to me.
Lee_England 4 | 51  
13 Jun 2007 /  #24
When I went to Poland I was seeing a girl who had a boyfriend in Poland and a lover in france!
szarlotka 8 | 2,209  
13 Jun 2007 /  #25
Little Miss Airmiles then
Lee_England 4 | 51  
13 Jun 2007 /  #26
HAHA that's a brilliant quote!

Archives - 2005-2009 / Love / Advice Required for UK Man in love with Polish WomanArchived