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Would this be viewed as okay for most Polish families?


RockyMason 19 | 250  
17 Feb 2008 /  #1
Or is this just my Gfs family. Her brother lived at home until he was 28 years old. his mother and his sister did his laundry and cleaned his room for him the entire time while he was living at home. Not to mention cooking for him every time he was hungry. He finally decided to get his career started and enter an apprenticeship in construction at age 27. He recently is going to marry a woman who has a very high paying professional job. I worry that he will expect her to do all of these things 2 and bring home the $ b/c they recently bought a very expensive house. I mean how can a woman be expected to bring home the paycheck and wash the clothing and clean?

In my family this is very disturbing. I would only be allowed to live at home as long as i am a full time student and I am to b cut off of all family support by age 25. As for the laundry cooking and cleaning thing if i told my mother to do this for me i'd prolly get an earload about how a 19 yr old should do all of these things for himself. If my GF doesn't do her brothers laundry for him her whole family gives her an earload!!! If mommy forgets dinner then her son and husband get mad at her? Is it okay for polish men to be so dependent on women?

Also even if i am going 2 school or working a job i get my ass kicked out by age 25 b/c my parents believe its babying to allow a person who is that old to mooch off u!
djf 18 | 166  
17 Feb 2008 /  #2
Its just a different culture, get over it.
Gosiaa 2 | 89  
17 Feb 2008 /  #3
It depends , my brother lived at home until he got married - my mom and I did everything
for him, he never ever did one thing !
but when he got to live with his wife and they
had a baby very soon he started doing all the housework and even change the baby , wash nappies, whatever she asked for.
So boys can do it and can learn , it is only if they do not have to do any housework
they never offer.
do not worry it will sort itself out !
polishcanuck 7 | 462  
17 Feb 2008 /  #4
Everyone is different. This sort of thing is common in all countries and cultures, especially in north america.

The individual you are talking about is a lazy bum. He will always be like this unfortunately, and this will lead to marital problems.

I live at home and go to school, but i also cook my own meals (often times i cook for the whole family) and as for laundry we take turns. I clean my room and the bathrooms.

Also even if i am going 2 school or working a job i get my ass kicked out by age 25 b/c my parents believe its babying to allow a person who is that old to mooch off u!

This is quite common in canada/usa, but not in poland. Parents only "kick out" their kids once they've finished college/uni and found work. This is not "babying" or "mooching." Many of my friends (all canadians) were kicked out after high school or during college and this has greatly hurt their career goals. Some, although smart, had to drop out of uni and do something else as their debts were going through the roof. Such as waste of talent and life. Parents just want to get the kids out and they don't care about their lives. I feel sorry for them. Some manage, though, very few from what i can see. Different cultures, different customs i guess.
PinkJewel  
17 Feb 2008 /  #5
Lucky for me and my siblings our parents never wanted to kick us out. They may have joked about it or even sometimes felt it but they never really did it. More important to them was that we made a good start for ourselves in our lives.

On the flip side, although we left and came home and left and came home, I personally have not relied on my mother to do washing/cooking/tidying in the family home since I was about 15. I have always felt it a personal responsibility to look after yourself and to look after your surroundings. My mother worked full time, I could help out.

I don't think it's a cultural thing that this guy allowed his sister/Mother to care for him, I think it was maybe laziness. Then again, maybe if his Mother/sister allowed this to go on, is he really to blame?
Gosia - | 35  
17 Feb 2008 /  #6
mothers sometimes love their sons too much . . .
PinkJewel  
17 Feb 2008 /  #7
Also a good point!
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699  
17 Feb 2008 /  #8
I mean how can a woman be expected to bring home the paycheck and wash the clothing and clean?

dont worry, he will end up mr mom if he rubs her the wrong way.. lol

Im not sure if that falls into culture VS family values = independence..
plk123 8 | 4,150  
17 Feb 2008 /  #9
actually there are plenty americans living at home at older ages with mommies doing everything for them.. it's not only a polish thing.
PinkJewel  
17 Feb 2008 /  #10
plenty americans living at home at older ages with mommies doing everything for them..

Yep. Absolutely true of US or UK. It's not really a cultural thing at all.
angel 14 | 86  
17 Feb 2008 /  #11
so am i right in thinking generally in poland men do not leave home until they get married-eventhough they may have a good job?
JacekinLAnNY - | 24  
17 Feb 2008 /  #12
I agree. That is pretty pathetic behavior for a man. Thats not a man IMO. Sounds worthless.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
17 Feb 2008 /  #13
well, in general, people in PL tend to live with their families longer anyway. laundry and cooking "are women's duties" so there.. lol

*hides*
OP RockyMason 19 | 250  
17 Feb 2008 /  #14
HAHAHAHA i knew some moron would say that lol. U discust me plk 123 good luck gettin a good wife or GF with an attitude like that!!! It doesn't always give u a better career to live at home lol. Unless ur in a very very privaleged area it probably won't make a difference how long u live at home. I believe the key to success is being able to care for yourself under all circumstances as well as knowing where u want to be in 10 yrs.
Glim 5 | 30  
17 Feb 2008 /  #15
so why are you still living at home you little baby?..
beckski 12 | 1,617  
17 Feb 2008 /  #16
*hides*

Better run and hide. A few dozen of us Polish women may go & kick the hell out of your Polish dupa!
plk123 8 | 4,150  
17 Feb 2008 /  #17
^^ notice the "lol" part.

so why are you still living at home you little baby?..

great Q glim. :D :D
OP RockyMason 19 | 250  
18 Feb 2008 /  #18
I DON'T LIVE AT HOME!!! Its called a dormroom u moron. U know when u go to a univ u live on campus to maximize study time? =) Dude u can't talk ur a railway operator!!! wat a joke!!! =) talk to me when ur in a more highly esteemed profession!
Daisy 3 | 1,227  
18 Feb 2008 /  #19
talk to me when ur in a more highly esteemed profession!

and when you graduate I'll come and visit you when you're working and order a Big Mac and fries
Michal - | 1,865  
18 Feb 2008 /  #20
lso even if i am going 2 school or working a job i get my ass kicked out by age 25 b/c my parents believe its babying t

Recently I asked my daughter to do something for me and she said no. I said that she must and that I am her father. She replied "I did not ask you to bring me in to this World". She is only six but what a good point I suppose and I could not argue with her. Parents, grown ups, have made a conscious decision and the responsibility lies with them too.
OP RockyMason 19 | 250  
18 Feb 2008 /  #21
Nice assumption daisy girl... however once i graduate i am guaranteed a job in my uncles franchised healthcare clinic network as well as my fathers lobbying firm or just about any law enforcement agency in cali. =D How about this "will u be paying the 100000$ bill u owe our clinic for its services or will we have to ruin ur credit history?"
Glim 5 | 30  
18 Feb 2008 /  #22
talk to me when ur in a more highly esteemed profession!

ooh,,er,.. yes sir,, right on it, two bags full sir...

you really do sound as if you believe life is a list of events on a piece of paper... have you even hit puberty yet?..

thanks for using the word moron.. made me laugh!

LOL
Mufasa 19 | 358  
18 Feb 2008 /  #23
guaranteed a job in my uncles franchised healthcare clinic network as well as my fathers lobbying firm or just about any law enforcement agency

very independent :)

i agree that moms and sisters shouldn't serve dads and brothers on their arses all day, but ten again, if they do, they must suffer, because it is of their own choice. you get the same thing in South Africa where I come from :)

my polish landlady packs a three course home-cooked meal for her unmarried 28 year old boy's lunch at work every day. thank heavens I won't be marrying him one day ;P
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
18 Feb 2008 /  #24
my brothers were "encouraged" to do their own ironing etc they both "left" home and were not kicked out when they went to uni - as a result they both cook and clean and have take on the their fatherly roles very well....

My friends brothers didnt do a tap around the house, the "girls" were expected to do everything, depends on the parents I suppose.
Mufasa 19 | 358  
18 Feb 2008 /  #25
depends on the parents I suppose.

agree - my hubby and his brother grew up without sisters, and my mother-in-law thankfully decided that she is not going to do everything around the house by herself - thanx mom - i have to write you an ode!
OP RockyMason 19 | 250  
18 Feb 2008 /  #26
I am independent! Ive been living by myself since ive gotten out of HS! I got my internship all by myself! If i really can't find a better job though y not work in one of the family businesses? They would still fire me if i was incompetent.
Glim 5 | 30  
18 Feb 2008 /  #27
all by myself!

hehe, so so desperate for praise.. deluded your are young one..
OP RockyMason 19 | 250  
18 Feb 2008 /  #28
Oh and who isn't desperate for gratification? Obviously u are b/c ur the one posting on this forum and not bettering himself socially! U could be out attending a univ! Instead ur on here talking with a bunch of invalids (myself and jonni excluded). =D
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
18 Feb 2008 /  #29
Errr, so are you, actually...
OP RockyMason 19 | 250  
18 Feb 2008 /  #30
Prove it with a valid proof then if im the invalid and ur not!

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