Polish people have low self-esteem?

I would venture that low self-esteem comes in a variety of shapes and forms. Some visibly appear to feel inferior, others will readily admit to it; others still, as Krysia pointed out, will act it out in various ways. I thought that this was how low self-esteem manifested itself. However, recently, I have come across another way with which some people deal with low self-esteem. I call it 'image management' ('over-reaching' is another form but it is different from 'image management'). Image management means that the person looks and sounds self-assured, successful, and capable when in fact, all one has to do is scratch the surface a tad more to reveal a deep well of insecurities. I have come to know what the expression 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall' means. All this to say that many persons whom you would never suspect of having low self-esteem do. The trick is to manage your image so that it does not show. I for one prefer more genuine people who will admit their fears and insecurities as well as their strengths. But, at least in many aspects of my personal and professional world, one risks way too much for being that authentic. Too bad. So, intimidating people are perhaps nothing to be intimidated about. :)

Very true, how people perceive others, I was seconded to a company on a project a while back and only spoke to certain people on the project, when my circle of work colleagues opened up, I found it really funny to be told that they the guys thought that I was really unaproachable and that they had the nick name of the ice queen for me...needless to say they changed their views when they got to know me.

Honesty often isolates but only ones trying honesty would know about it.
I am such a great guy that I would never intimidate someone showing his weak side (at least consiously) but I've seen sharks eating flesh out of such people and had my share of performing in defesnive mode afterward.

We have names for people who do that "bully" and bullys are weak people they hunt in packs and dont have backbone.

This often happens to me, too. When people get to know me, and (I have to admit) when I feel comfortable enough to 'let my hair down' (because I am terribly shy), people get to see another side of me. But that takes time.


Yes. I have to agree with that. I think that healthy self-esteem is the greatest gift one can have. And those who do not have good self-esteem deserve respect and protection.


That reminds me of a discussion we had in one of my 'psychology of self' class. Someone said something along the lines that one had to deserve respect in order to get it. And someone else replied that, instead, our behaviour is under our own control. Basically, that I can choose to respect someone even if they are behaving in a disrespectful way towards themselves. A person whose behaviour is inviting disrespect does not force me to behave in a disrespectful manner towards them. I am the one who controls my behaviour. And my behaviour can stem from my values, not from another's behaviour. Easier said than done, but still. Anyway, I said I was going to be here for an hour only to take advantage of the nice weather outside. So, I will leave now but this is a very interesting discussion. Thank you all and take care.

There is new girl in my team , very nice I really get on well with her....but

my colleague from othe team said she seems to be very confident.and ...she is miserable never smiles.....just says ....hello.....

My manager sees her as bit shy get easily embarassed....this girl told her that she needs time to open up......

It is strange so different perception i think that we got on well straight away that is why this girl was just herself with me but I suppose it shows another face of low self-esteem- being quiet not so easily approchable,closed bit defensive....

I am such a great guy that I would never intimidate someone showing his weak side (at least consiously) but I've seen sharks eating flesh out of such people and had my share of performing in defesnive mode afterward.

I am the same and hate people doing it.

I have learn about bullying here in Uk- it is treated quite seriously.
Thinking about it my first manager in Poland was big bully....but I don't even know polish equivalent word for it..

Bullying is treated seriously, but it still goes on.

there is no polish word equivalent for bully...?

I find it contradictory and perhaps short-sighted as a society - I know that Zero tolerance programs exist in schools as well as conflict resolution skills teams, and I think that this is an excellent idea, yet, I can't watch television for 10 minutes without seeing violent or mean-spirited behaviour. Even our politicians are not much better role models for our youth. From where I stand, the adults have the responsibility to walk the talk.

I have to admit, it is nice to torment people now and again. :)

Well ok. Quite a lot! :)

even someone who isnt your match???

Especially so! (i think...) :( :)

Amen Krysia!

totally agree, and you hit it on the nose with the Real world passing them by!

Only problem with that argument is that I have indulged a few recreational substances for the last 18 years, alcohol for 23 years. I'm late 30's have a easy mortgage and a nice job and college qualifications.

Krysia, in many cases you are right. It comes down to the ethics and strength of the person inside and how they balance things.
Up and down Britain for instance, many people of skilled and economically viable backgrounds indulge drug use and get by just fine (pay taxes blah blah). Remember the world isn't as black and white as the media 'stories' have you believe. Tragedies? Yes. Epidemic? Er, no.

:)

If I wanted to mug or kill someone then that would be the way I am, but I'm not.
I have in previous years also indulged hallucinogenic drugs of good strength and enjoyed the occasion. It's all in the planning, the company kept and a positive attitude. :)

If I wanted to mug or kill someone then that would be the way I am, but I'm not.
I have in previous years also indulged hallucinogenic drugs of good strength and enjoyed the occasion. It's all in the planning, the company kept and a positive attitude.

:(

Up and down Britain for instance, many people of skilled and economically viable backgrounds indulge drug use and get by just fine (

How can anyone assume that will "get by" just fine before starting? Noone knows how easy is his body to get addicted.

I was reading about these Ipswich prostitutes nad all of them were addicted to heroin( I didn't realise it is so expensive!!!) so they started selling themselves.

So they didn't do it because they couldn't find job ( law unemployment in Uk) or because they were very greeedy about money....they did it for drug, drugs...drugs.

I find it very sad.

I don't believe that poles have low self esteem. on the contrary. the poles I know are very confident people willing to make a diffrence. I do agree that they have their bad days, but beside this, their kind of great. I think the whole talk should be about the individual and not the crowd. And the individuals I know are nice people.

Well how do you know if eating peanuts is going to kill you?

Iwona, I'm simply pointing out that in the vast spectrum of personality traits, strengths and weaknesses you can't just tar all people with the same destructive nature/outcome.

I do agree that known highly addictive drugs like heroin are bad news. For the record, I have never
even considered drug use by injection let alone tried it.

I am just a typical working/lower middle class guy who likes a few indulgences here and there :)
Such practice is widespread in most countries. It is self righteous, interfering governments who poke their noses in so many peoples business. If it is not 'yet another' tax, it's social engineering as well.

Where does it end? When all individuality is wiped out? :(

At the end of the day, it's about personal responsibility and management. Not doing so much to excess is the trick.
After all, too much alcohol,sugar,salt,sex can and has killed people prematurely :)


Again, this isn't 'cast in stone'. Many go into prostitution because they see it as easy money.
They don't consider the dangers of violent, controlling pimps who often encourage the use of drugs like heroin as a means of control and dependency.

Once successful these women are effectively 'owned', it's game over for them.
The root cause can be many; child/family abuse, bad choice of 'friends', low esteem and a 'at all costs' desire to impress their peers to be accepted.

Iam just a typical working/lower middle class guy who likes a few indulgences here and there

I am probbaly classless in Uk - in Poland i was ...don't know middle class I suppose.

Such practice is widespread in most countries. It is self righteous, interfering governments who poke their noses in so many peoples business. If it is not 'yet another' tax, it's social engineering as well.

You are right too some extend English gov can be little patronising but I still find drugs very dnagerous....

At the end of the day, it's about personal responsibility and management. Not doing so much to excess is the trick.

Yes ok few little indulges ...... Unfortunately lots people wants to try more go far....And I will be cruel here but people should be responsible for their action, unfortunatey they are not so later all charities expect us to be sympathetic to drug addicts....I am not so much...Most poeple are rather weak so they probbaly shouldn't try....

Did you hear lately P Doherty speaking .....he is completely switched off....and someone said that he was so sensitive, gentle inteligent boy one day.... sad again.

I am probbaly little idealistic and like to have control over myslelf that is why binge drinking, drugs.....it is not for me.:)

That is good for you and fair play to you, no problem at all.
You should remember that elements of mankind have experimented with (natural) drugs for hundreds of years. Shamanic rites and such things are traceable in all cultures around the world.

Drug use isn't a modern problem. Modernity itself has much to answer for regarding communications, cultural dilution, over crowding and all the other modern day competitive strains we put upon ourselves.

This creates more ill people than anything else :)

Drug use isn't a modern problem. Modernity itself has much to answer for regarding communications, cultural dilution, over crowding and all the other modern day competitive strains we put upon ourselves.

This creates more ill people than anything else

unfortunatey that is true....the best way- distance yourself a little from it...:)

The British media has not had decent coverage of Polish affair since Tim Sebastian got expelled in 1981.
I have been massively interested in Poland over the last 20 years for various reasons, but I have never been able to read anything accurate or incisive apart from the occasional Economist article. All correspondents were fed their lines by sources with their own differing agendas. You can't recognise the country from the media coverage it receives.

BBC reports on Poland come direct from ... Berlin. Occasionally, the correspondent crosses the border for a spot of shopping!!

Oh God its not you again is it???.......Why do Polish people have low self-esteem??....I would have thought the answer is obvious!!....Your not the worlds 5th Economy, 4th richest country in the world, and you havn't won more Noble Peace Prizes than anyone else in the world next only to America, and your not responsible for 52 percent of the worlds inventions, and you didn't once rule over a quarter of the worlds population, and your language isn't the most spoken in the world!!.... Unlike the country which you never miss a chance to try and belittle!!......Great Britain....Is there really any need to rub your noses in it more??

aj... theres an un written rule that says if you are gonna post more than 3 lines of text then you need to register... its a respect thang.... kapish...?

ajgraham...I ask politely f...off

hello Iwona....I take it you agree with everything I said then?


Ok Bubbawoo, thanks for that.......I'll register someother time.

of course what British "Superman" says is a law for me.

thats cool... its always good to make friends... you never know when you need someone watching your back...

Is there someone trying to kill me already??...........and its nice to meet you too Bubbawoo.


Sorry Iwona, I didn't understand the remark?........You mean the British think we are Supermen?

No,

It was bit sarcastic - What a big SUPERMAN like you says is the law for me.

or maybe you are female....but I don'k think so.

...theres a couple of crazy mutha fukas in here who'll creep up on a man when he least suspects it... damn... i already had one contract taken out on me already... crazy **** happened... tried to make it look like an accident...