Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

They aren't having sex, and it seems that he really cares for her. As far as her parents go, my aunt loves him and encourages it, my uncle- not so much. It seems that he wants to marry her. In the Polish/American social circle that he is involved with there seems to be quite a lot of married couples with drastic age differences. If she were21 and he 31 I probably wouldn't be freaking out. But she just turned 16 this summer. WE are not polish, but he is first generation. Is this a cultural thing, or is he a creep?

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Does anybody know if this age difference is a cultural thing? Is this kind of thing acceptable in areas outside of the US?

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Yea that's what we thought too...great.

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

That is exactly what seems to be happening in the family. The mother is allowing it to happen, she says its under her supervision, and that they are totally chaperoned all the time. The father is totally against it (as many of us are). The don't even go on actual dates, they just hang out at her parents house etc. The whole thing is upsetting!

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Well of course anything can happen...I was once 16 too. But we hope nothing is going on yet. Besides, even if its not right now, isn't he a creep for going after a girl that young? It seems so weird...

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

I know! Thats what we said! We have a 9 year old son and there has been a girl at school stalking him already!!!! I don't want him to get involved in serious relationships until he's like 25...We put an end to this "play date" crap!

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Yea, that's why we don't let our 9 year old go on play dates with extremely forward girls that call like 6 times a day....

Is it really just harmless, or is it a spring board for something more serious later on?

True, but where do you cut it off? It's ok when your 9, but now that your 14, 15,16 (whatever) you aren't aloud to hang out and have sleep overs anymore. Why not just set the precident when they're little?

OK, so is it common for Polish men to go for younger women, in this case little girls and what "groom" them until they are ready for a real relationship?

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Don't get me wrong, he has plenty of friends that are girls, I just am not into this crazy little vixen girl that stalks him...I'm talking about calling like every 2 minutes all day long during summer break, when everyone else has forgotten about school friends and moved onto other summer things. Its just a little weird how totally aggressive this little girl is.

Yea, but I made some really stupid decisions at a young age and hurt alot of people because of them. Maybe if the people around me would have aimed my arrows at different things I could have avoided hurting all the ones I did and in the mean time going through a ton of crap that could have been uneccesary.

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

I can't control what they do in their family, but I can hopefully influence my own kid in the right direction.

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

That's nice, haven't you ever learned from mistakes and not wanted people you care about to make similar ones?

Anyway, this is totally off the subject. What I really want to know is if it is customary for Polish men to date younger women?

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

OK, so are you saying this guys a creep then? Because that's what I think he is.

Yea, creepy huh?

True, but we don't have female genital mutilation as a "custom" here in the US and it is a custom in Africa....I'm just wondering, not trying to be offensive.

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

That's what I'm trying to figure out, we know of quite a few 1st generation Polish Americans (we don't know them well though) that seem to have this age gap and they have quite happy marriages. But we've met them all after they were married for a few years, and don't really know for how long the courtships lasted. You know, did they meet at 18 and 32 and get married at 20 and 34? Or did they meet at 16 and 26? I just don't know. He actually is a super nice guy and if she were already 20 or 21, and lived a little, I don't think anyone would have a real problem with it.

By the way, I'm only a cousin anyway, sadly it's not my job to put my foot down. The whole thing started out with him being her math tutor. As soon as it seemed to be turning into anything more there would have been a new math tutor if it were in my house!

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Thanks

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Are you saying that 16 is the age of consent in all 52 states?

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Michigan the age actually is 16, but if you are over 18 and with a 16 year old even if the parents know about it and allow it someone else can report it...anyway I really don't believe they are having sex. At least I seriously hope not!

Love / Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy [102]

Sorry, not 52 states---uhhh, drooling now.