mcog
20 Jan 2008
Love / Polish Girlfriend, but she is not single ... [35]
Hi, I am new here ... and this is a long one. apologies. I just need to get this out...
... and in need some good advice.
I'm having a relationship with a Polish woman, we are both in the UK. We have been together for two months. It has been a very intense relationship. It's good, it's great in fact, the best thing to happen to me in years. She is everything I could wish for and we are in love with each other... we have said so to each other. We see each other every day, every chance we can.
The problem is, and it is a big problem. She is not single. We know we shouldn't have, it was both of us who wanted each other and it happened. This is the situation we are in and I don't know what to do about it. She is living with her boyfriend. She stays with him because it is secure and safe and lessens the chances of having to go back to Poland. She is happy in the UK and wants to stay, this home to her now. Her boyfriend is the reason she is here, although she is very much part of the Polish community, she doesn't want this 'safety net' to disappear. If we were to be together, and that could mean living together, she says she fears things ending between us and having to leave the UK. I can't predict the future, and I don't know how things will be... I don't know what to say to her about this. It's still early on in our relationship.
I know it's wrong, but relationships are not always kept in tidy little boxes, emotions come into play and at the moment mine are being pushed and pulled in so many directions, I don't know where to turn. When she leaves to go home, I miss her every breath. When we are together, it's wonderful. We have discovered so much about each other that we like. It's the most amazing relationship I have ever had. And I don't say that lightly.
Am I wasting my time? Do I keep waiting and hoping for things to change? Do I say 'him or me' ? I know in the end I'll have to do something to change what is happening, either way, but I'd really like some other opinions and advice....
Thank you for your time ...
Hi, I am new here ... and this is a long one. apologies. I just need to get this out...
... and in need some good advice.
I'm having a relationship with a Polish woman, we are both in the UK. We have been together for two months. It has been a very intense relationship. It's good, it's great in fact, the best thing to happen to me in years. She is everything I could wish for and we are in love with each other... we have said so to each other. We see each other every day, every chance we can.
The problem is, and it is a big problem. She is not single. We know we shouldn't have, it was both of us who wanted each other and it happened. This is the situation we are in and I don't know what to do about it. She is living with her boyfriend. She stays with him because it is secure and safe and lessens the chances of having to go back to Poland. She is happy in the UK and wants to stay, this home to her now. Her boyfriend is the reason she is here, although she is very much part of the Polish community, she doesn't want this 'safety net' to disappear. If we were to be together, and that could mean living together, she says she fears things ending between us and having to leave the UK. I can't predict the future, and I don't know how things will be... I don't know what to say to her about this. It's still early on in our relationship.
I know it's wrong, but relationships are not always kept in tidy little boxes, emotions come into play and at the moment mine are being pushed and pulled in so many directions, I don't know where to turn. When she leaves to go home, I miss her every breath. When we are together, it's wonderful. We have discovered so much about each other that we like. It's the most amazing relationship I have ever had. And I don't say that lightly.
Am I wasting my time? Do I keep waiting and hoping for things to change? Do I say 'him or me' ? I know in the end I'll have to do something to change what is happening, either way, but I'd really like some other opinions and advice....
Thank you for your time ...