PF - The Omnibus Edition

An omnibus that's all in verse
If I had written, it would be worse

Precision flows through his pen
Can we match him ? how and when ?

A wonderful talent for all to see
We read his thoughts with utter glee

A talented wordsmith, extraordinaire
The rest of us just don't compare

I might have raised the glass, not the bar.

Very nice edition Mr Sz. Wearing an Armani dress definatelly brough out some interesting literature version of Omnibus;)

MR SZ you have made the barn wall this week!

I'm honoured. Err, it is an honour is't it?

put it this way . It is way better than the barn floor

I am glad I found this thread...I always thought that 'Off-Topic' Lounge was a kind of hell that the moderators consigned my threads to...What a 'glupiec' I was!...But I can see that you have a sort of 'underground movement' over here...I will read this 'Omnibus Edition' regularly from now on.

To be honest, I’m not sure I should be writing this edition. I know that Shawn-H was set the task of writing it when Miranda shouted at him to do so. However, he didn’t appear to be too keen so I thought I’d pen a few words just in case.

Oracle of Delphi anyone? No we’ve got Joe.

A new value added service has emerged this week. Joepilsudski has set himself up as the new agony aunt of PF. In his fresh looking ‘Ask Joe’ feature he provides incisive and timely advice to sort out all of your problems in navigating your way around this cruel and often confusing world. The early signs look promising, despite the ridiculous hat that he appears to favour. Already some of us, myself included, have benefited from his wise and thoughtful advice. I’m not sure how the established agony aunt here feels about the new upstart. I refer, of course, to JustysiaS who until now has been the one to provide the compassionate and gentle advice to all those seeking the love of a Polish Princess or two, particularly where the requestor is of a Middle eastern persuasion. I suggest that we need a new thread that provides us with advice on which agony aunt our problems should be addressed to.

Love this Song

Oh good thought I, a new music thread. Imagine my horror to find out it was another religious fanatic trying to change the (my) world. This particular gentleman, Loveislam, has been more persistent than most. We’ve had all manner of videos. The first set was vaguely interesting since the featured religious leader looked just like Terry Waite. After that it got very boring to be honest. So far he has only converted Somerled. I think he was converted to left hand drive, manual gearshift cars but I might be wrong there. I am now convinced that all religious and spiritual advisers have a set agenda item at their meetings to allocate a web site to their followers to spam. Obviously Loveislam must have been a bad student since he got us and there is a fair chance that Polish Catholics were never going to be an easy target.

Speedy recovery needed…

.. for Osiol who has a very nasty sounding bout of something nasty sounding. It’s not been a good week for the Donkey as he was also suffering from drinking too much fine bitter earlier in the week. Others have gone down with illnesses in a show of solidarity. Apparently there is a really nasty flu strain heading our way and we have to go and find a doctor (not easy) to give us a jab (needle not boxing) or we might miss some days at work. This is likely to be a bonus for Daisy who hates her boss anyway. This week she revealed that he is a twitcher (the radical arm of the Bird Watchers) who zooms off to far flung corners when there is a rare sighting of our feathered friends. Sledz has helped Daisy out by inventing rare sightings in the Falkland Islands.

Credit where it’s due

So far, to my knowledge, none of us has topped ourselves because of the economic crisis. I don’t think any of us has lost our jobs yet either. In fact the only real impact on me so far has been the landlord at my local limiting the size of my bar tab and insisting I settle up at least once a month. Yes the pound is in free fall and air fares are rocketing but really I can’t see any great recession just yet. When it does arrive, as it surely will, I intend to print out a copy of ParisJazz’s post where he defended bankers as not being greedy and no different from manufacturers and stick it on my dart board. Not greedy? I can only assume he works for a financial services PR firm.

Over there, over there

Well we have another Brit domiciled in Polska now. Telefonitka has finally made the move over to Krakow. I’d like to add my best wishes to her. There must be a fair few anglos in Poland now. Luckily for them it would seem that our Dear Leader quite likes them and it’s the rest of us that sometimes cause him a problem. Not just him too it would seem. There have been a couple of threads which want to know why the hell the Brits, Yanks, Aussies and Nepalese are here at all and why there are not enough Poles on here. Closing ranks a number of thoughtful replies have been provided, notably from Seanus, Osiol and LondonChick. It would seem fair to claim that most longer term members have a genuine interest in Poland or Poles for a variety of reasons. In other cases the reason must be a morbid fascination with Polish Shelf toilets.

That will have to do for this update. My efforts are focussed on producing the ‘mega edition’ for the first birthday of the thread in a few weeks time. No-one but no-one will be safe, of that you can be sure.

Marvelous edition Mr Pie and to think I was about to post some Scouse jokes on the cheer me up thread. I'll save them until tomorrow :)

Post away. I am safe in the knowledge that I am about as far removed from the stereotype Scouser as it is possible to be.

Ps what is the Polish for hub caps?

Yes I`m going to take the Bird Nerd on a world tour..lol

Good edition SZ :)



What does this mean again?
I frogot

From Liverpool Sledz

ah ha, so its jokes on the Liverpoolians hehe
The Beatles were from there but the look like elves in those pointy boots and
thier Moe Howard hairdoo`s

I did? LOL

Good edition Master Szarlotka:)

and bricks

The forum has its strengths here thamks to this thread . Good to read Sledz on line again How is Chicago? Did you get washed into a sewer from all the rain ?

i approve, Panie Pie, i approve :). i'll just stick to troll bashing, akhem, compassionate and gentle advice in the singles section ;)

I am thinking of getting all these Avatars and putting them on the barn wall It would be nice to get blown up versions Seanus would fit right in and Osiol too . Then some day many years from now people will look and wonder what it is with all these pictures You see I am making a rec room in one of the lofts with pool table and bar.

Splendid. Do we get an invitation to the grand opening.


In your own, inimitable style no doubt. Go get 'em

O h most ceratainly to all on the forum

Good day everyone. As Mr Sz is very busy working on the Omnibus Anniversary Edition he has rather reluctantly let me write this weeks edition. He also asked me to point out that normal services will return shortly and no blame for the following article should be directed at him or any other employee at Szarlotka Towers.

---

P/f at war

A rather bad week for rage wars on P/F. At one point it look like world war 3 was about to break out! Earlier in the week Illinois started to lunch missile attracts on the lone star state of Texas. Texas returned fire and the war continued for a good 30 minutes then fizzled out with no reports of injuries.

Next up a bovine type creature ( stationed at a base somewhere in the UK) started to bombard a Brit living in Wroclaw with cruise missiles. The fire was returned quite quickly and went on for most of the night. Earlier reports told us that the factory where the Brit had been hiding took a direct hit, but our man was not hurt and was later seen in the stare miasto area wearing his favourite shirt, it was then confirmed that there had indeed been an explosion at the paint factory. Some countries east of Poland also got involved in this battle which resulted in snipers firing shots at each other all through the night.

Just when we thought it was safe to go back to our keyboards, a normally peaceful and non aggressive city in Canada got involved in a war with our lovely cathedral city of Salisbury in Wiltshire .This one quickly gathered momentum with guns blazing from both sides and when the small country of Northern Ireland mistakenly got involved, a warning shot was quickly sent from the Salisbury plain area to halt any attempt of an invasion. The main battle went on for over an hour but thankfully (at the time of writing) peace is now restored in all the trouble spots.

Our P/F peace keeper Daisy has now opened a safe haven for anyone feeling angry to let off steam in her new thread Mad, Bad, Sad or Glad...which one are you? Please make a note of this folks and post it as a sticky on your monitors.

The ghost of Vera Old

The devious Vera Old came back to haunt us once more. Just as admin was doing a spot of site maintenance she struck again …our volunteer watch guard and member Franek, was once again quick to see her on his radar. He sent out a warning and petrified one p/f member who was so scared that she thought Vera had taken over admin and PolskaDoll. This woman must be caught, and rest assured that Franek is still on her case 24/7 and setting traps for her, so it is just a matter of time before the forum police catch up with her.

Same old story

Things are starting to hot up in P/F’s World cup and Euro games. Many Countries are represented with the likes of England, Scotland, France, Poland, Germany and Turkey battling for a place in the finals. So which country is going to win these competitions you might ask? Well which country always starts slow? gets better with each round? Always gets into the final? Yes folks you have guessed it, the Germans. Bratwurst Boy is at the top of the euro game, with what seems like an unchallenged lead, and has slowly been working his way up to the top of the world cup game too. Experts say he could well be top come Wednesday. Is there chance that England could win this? Maybe a slim chance, you see if one of the Scots win it, we will do our usual bit and claim a victory for Britain…rest assured we will also be looking to get into the semis and hope that jbman can continue his great winning streak and Mr Sz must have a good chance as well. Anyway there is still a long way to go and it must be said, congratulations to Bratwurst Boy for a superb performance so far, and thanks also to Polson for keeping everything in order.

In between the wars.

With the wars making the headlines this week other people not involved were trying to carry on with their normal lives. Our new guest to these shores, Wyspi is settling in at Cambridge and not letting future mum in law spoil her happiness. Good for her we all say here at Szarlotka towers. New member sweet-g who does not speak much polish, has found a novel way of communicating with her new polish boyfriend, by writing love messages on her wall. Alleged super spy and private detective Senator has been asking for an email translation and then asking for how to mark an email as unread, he has since cleared things up saying it was for a mate. Joepilsudski’s agony aunt thread has been a success and many people are keen to get his advice. One member asked for advice on why his wife did not like him going fishing with his mate Sam and posted a photo of his buddy with some bass, however many male p/f members claim that they can’t remember seeing any bass in the picture.

And finally.

Some threads which may or may not, complement each other

pretty woman - were are you? Hiking around Zakopane/ Tatra mountains

Cooked Fruit in Poland - Fruity Fillings, Flan, Pies, Tarts and JAM
Calling wind musicians in Trojmiasto!

what are the best love poems in polish for a girl to receive? Which position you play in Football ?

why does he write polish words on the wall?
Native Speaker available for private evening lessons

nasza-klasa.pl how to mark a read mail as unread
I like this Polish girl, but she doesn't get my... English sense of humor

Are polish girls gold-diggers? What to do with my penny jar full of Polish coins?

Thanks for reading have a great week

YEAH! Go me!

*throws helmet into air*

Thanks Vincent...nice, short and to the point, the week at PF! :)

Typical manager.

Brilliant round up of the week Vincent :)


You'd be lost without that helmet *makes note to remember that*

Good round up Vincent better than that szarlotka guy ;) lol...

Vera.

er, I mean PD...of course...

:)

Eh? executive director please


Is it really that difficult?

Great effort Vincent.

I never said that! :}


lol - so how are you getting along with the Anniversary Edition?

I hope you're not expecting a big bonus, while vincent does all the work

Exactly, there's Vincent slaving his guts out. What's szarlotka doing? Polishing his golf clubs probably... :)

No - binning them !

how did your golf game with StevieG go this morning mr Sz?

Not very well apparently! ;)