Welcome once more from the palatial offices of the PF Omnibus Edition team. Well to be honest the offices are not palatial and the team is actually now just Szarlotka. Due to the recession, the complete lack of sponsorship and the absence of advertising revenue, I have reluctantly had to let the researchers go. Times are so hard it was no longer possible to continue to provide them with even their meagre remuneration – three pints, a packet of salt and vinegar crisps and a copy of Nuts magazine. Well that’s life I guess.
It’s not the end of the world as we know it.
The spanner heads at CERN have, after all, not doomed us to life as anti-matter particles. Although to be fair their clockwise, anti-clockwise beams have not collided yet. We have at least 27 days left to indulge in all sorts of things that you do with a few days of life left. This may include asking the boss for a raise, asking the boss’ PA out for dinner, finally learning to play the piano or even being nice to a German.
So near but yet so far.
An outstandingly funny post emerged from Ms Joannat. In it she set out very clear terms of engagement for a deep meaningful relationship with a suitably endowed man. Well endowed in this context included him having a nice car, good income, deep pockets and any level of attractiveness other than pug ugly. For the first time ever, Szarlotka could tick most of the boxes so threw his hat into the ring and went off for a good night’s sleep. Arising early the next morning, imagine his dismay to find that Admin had wiped the thread. Oh well back to married life for me then. I bet she looked like the back end of a bus anyway.
Oh I would purge 500 posts and I would purge 500 more.
Yep. The monthly purge of off topic has occurred once more. Once more we have had all sort of goodies removed. The world will now never know which of my musical submissions reduced Osiol to tears of anger and frustration. Is Sledz an early or late Pink Floyd Fan? Does Michal really like Wagner? Historical records of fact have been lost for ever. Unless of course there is a copy of the stuff in the Bodleian Library at Oxford. For the benefit of Newbies, if you love to see your post numbers growing just post in the serious categories and leave Off Topic to us serial offenders.
Groundhog Day
No sooner has Admin cleared down oodles of material, blow me down if old chestnut topics don’t mysteriously reappear. I mean, look at this lot that have come back post purge:
• Are Polish Women Easy?
• What do men look for in a woman?
• What do women look for in a man?
By my rough calculation this must be the fourteenth reincarnation of these beauties. For future reference I intend to provide my definitive responses, given that this is sticky thread and presumably will survive long enough to form part of my epitaph (which means 4 days if I don’t get my £50 back Szar – Ed). Here goes:
• They are easier if they speak English, note easier not easy. If they only speak Polish then they are very, very difficult.
• Men want charm, good looks, sophistication, short dresses and a potential father-in-law with a spare season ticket to Anfield in a woman
• Women want charm, good looks, sophistication, pert bottoms and a potential mother-in-law who is dead in a man.
Next candidate for the Lazarus thread award will probably be ‘What are your most embarrassing moments?’
Anarchist seeks global pen pals.
Well it makes a change to have requests for company from sources other than crazed lonely nutters or African web bots. Some German anarchists want to be friends with us all. Damned if I understood the logic since it went off to discussions about the SS. Were they friendly anarchists? Anyway, Hueg put them right. At least I think he did as he wrote back in German. Flash one that Hueg. Maybe they could be friends with Crow? Although I’m not sure whether pan-Slavics are anarchists. If nothing else they could have an interesting chat even if at the end of it they agree to knock the spots of each other.
Predictions are entirely predictable
Polson has roped in at least 12 of us to guess the football scores and taken on the onerous job of scoring the results and fielding all disputes. As predicted Szarlotka is languishing in last place. Never mind, England won in Croatia so I don’t really care that much.
And Finally…
There have been no volunteers to be the second ‘guest’ writer of the Omnibus Edition. Obviously following Miranda has been too daunting for most. Daisy has volunteered the Dear Leader, aka Gzregorz, to give us a Polish view on the great debates on here. So far the Dear Leader has not responded, being pre-occupied with the great affairs of state that he must deal with. Therefore I suggest as many of you as possible send him a PM pleading with him to give us a lead in these difficult and challenging times.
That’s all for now. Have a great weekend people.
Fantastic.. lets stamp out all sense of humor on here. Funny, for a place that roasts the Nazis daily.
yep sense of humor and sexual comments dont have any place together
you think its ok to let kids see this?
Like I told southern, MY daughter walked up to the computer screen and
was looking at it.. I had to cover it up..
thats pathetic when sense of humor and sexual derogatory comments can
be put in same context..
I cant keep it from them when they are older, But I would think you and
others wouldnt want your children looking at crap like this ,and isnt this
why we monitor it?
this is a polish forum , NOT BENNY HILL!!
I used to watch him too, but yep he was late night and not when kids
were up and there is a place and time for it.. or do you disagree??
Hidden Depths….
I am delighted to announce the arrival of yet another literary giant here on PF. Below is an admirable Omnibus Edition penned by a shy and retiring PF member - which obviously rules out some of you – who wishes to remain anonymous, at least until the royalty cheques start rolling in. Read on…….
A light hearted look at polish forums by guest writer, Norm D Plume.
Polish invasion….the second coming:
Many poles , will be making their way to England on Thursday, to visit White hart lane, for the big Euro football game. The home office have issued a statement saying, that, despite an anonymous, tip off, and protest , from a man in Glasgow, they will still, be keeping, the jobcentres open as usual. Meanwhile the standing for p/f’s 2010 world cup matches are in. #1 jbman, #2 PolkaDoll’s (boyfriend or father) #3 sausage. Spokesmen for the two big bookmakers say, the smart money is on the “banger” going to the top, when he plays his game in hand.
Hurricane strikes twice:
P/f members, Svenski and polishgirltx, had to put on wellies and hard hats, last weekend, in anticipation, for the tail end of hurricane Ike arriving in Dallas. All was well though, and it was almost possible, to hear the sigh of relief, from all the young men all over the UK when their favourite girl started posting again. It was bad luck too, for the poor girl, a day earlier, 1500 of her posts were blown away, by admins monthly clear out.
Squats, fries and video takes:
P/f member telefonitika, got a glimpse into the future, when she came across a demonstration, of the new European, ‘open plan toilets’ in Krakow last week. The Donny lady, give it, both thumbs down, most members agreed, with some asking , how low, can they go.
Another member just back from Krakow, the adorable, bi-lingual Dubliner, Poor Edward, posted a journal of his trip. Cuisine loving folks, wondering what delights, our man tried out, were left disappointed, when the young traveller declared , he dinned only, on big macs, beer and vodka.
Highlight of the week, was a musical and video masterpiece, by the forums lovable pet donkey. Smoothing banjo music, accompanied by animation, was a breath of fresh air. Many people in the know, are forecasting, the new album will be in the shops at Christmas.
On yer bike mate!
P/f boasts some of the fittest members on any forum, with the founding of the new biking club. Many members from all corners of the globe, have been exchanging their views on bikes trips with others. One female member said that she has other interests as well, and quoted the words, swimming, young man and speedo’s. It is not clear,at this stage, if she is leaving the club,or, was just asking for a translation.
Unusual thread of the week:
. The polish handshake. Arguments have been breaking out, why the polish handshake is so strong and firm. Some have debated that it is the strongest grip in the world, and many agree, but, come on folks , can it really, be stronger than the grip of a Scots man, holding on, to a £5 note?
Some threads that complimented each other.
*I found Christ on this forum ; Looking for 3bd flat in Warsaw*
*My polish boyfriend fancys are pakistani neighbour .What do i do ? ; Say Hello. Wave Goodbye*
*I need a good dictionary! ; I married a Polish girl once.*
Have a good day folks, and keep those posts coming. Regards Norm.
I think you will agree – a splendid effort
