PF - The Omnibus Edition

thanks Szarlotka, happy hoovering. You might want to grab the manual:)

Rule 3 of being a man states "If all else fails, open the manual"

miranda,

Thanx for the latest edition. After spending time in some of the threads the weekly Omnibus Edition brings back a sense of reality. It's difficult to explain, but I value your work. (As I did, of course, szarlotka's) :)

I like a man who can hoover up well and doesn't need to be asked.

It's perfectly ok if he can't change the dust bag <may be a bit too technical for him> that's what we are there for......hehe :)

Miranda, very good edition.....I'm a little worried it was too good and Pan Pie will use it as an excuse to skive out of his duties.

That's funny. My wife keeps referring to me in the past tense too. Come to think of it my boss on this contract just did as well. Maybe I've passed over to the other side?

*glows at being mentioned in the actual edition*

But...I must remember it was our Gregorz who decided to name me that way, I found it fitting so I kept it! :)

Is Bratwurst Boy, sausage ? I never knew that.

You could always call yourself 'frankfurter' then we shall know it is you <g>

Hey BB, how are you doing then ?
:)

Wonder who else uses different aliases then ? Come on own up !
:)

Is there anybody there?

But I'm no Frankfurter...I'm a Berliner (and that is no sausage at all) but I fear nobody would take me seriously when I would name myself after that:

thanks Wroclaw, it is a lot of fun and it helps to put things in perspective for me as well.


I don't think it will happen, because I am going back to school soon and will have no time for PF Omnibus. Besides, Szarlotka got got lazy and he has no excuses.


sorry to hear that. And you are writing the next one for sure;). I am exhausted only after 2 editions.


good choice and I was just taking a little dig at your name. Got to have my fun:)

Update: Adm changed to colour of premium member's logo to yellow. Buggers!!!! What I meant by eyesore had nothing to do with the colour Adm.

Huh? Nope, that was "Georgian" a male poster! And why would he know? hehe


Ahh! But BB you are just as sweet, if not sweeter than a Berliner! Yummy! *smiles adoringly at Bratski*

sorry, my mistake. I though it was strange coming from you.

Miranda , I just caught up on this and read through it. I have one comment for you. Good job on a good bit of objective writing.

blushing ;)

Well we have cleared out the old PCs, hi-fi and back copies of What Car magazine from the Press Room. We’ve run the vacuum cleaner around the old place, dusted off the shelves and upgraded the operating systems of the crappy equipment the miserly old Editor provides and we now intend to honour our solemn promise to the delightful Daisy to rattle out another edition of the Omnibus Edition. Time presses since Arise-St-George has kindly pointed out that the boffins at CERN could obliterate the planet on Wednesday when they switch on the new Large Hadron Collider and create oodles of mini black holes that could spread out of control. The chief objector appears to be a doddery old German Chemist. Like what do Chemists know of particle physics then? Szarlotka would like to point out that if indeed the CERN nobles do create a quasar deep within the planet that eats us up then he would like the credit for first raising this issue on PF. Think he’s going senile? Then check out the things that keep me wake at night post. Aww, don’t bother it’s probably been cleansed to make way for another desperately seeking Suzanna post or three.

Right, now how do we distil many weeks, nay months, of action on here into a suitably succinct Omnibus without boring the pants off of everyone with monotonously trotting out the collective thoughts of posters young and old? The simple answer is we don’t. We adopt the Chinese approach to history by denying that any of it ever happened. Yes there may be written records of what Osiol, Krysia, PolskaDoll et al have posted but let’s just say that they were unapproved by the Party Machine and therefore cannot be treated as records of fact. Instead we pretend that the world only came into being at the end of August and since it’s going to end on Wednesday that gives us a nicely shortened spectrum of activity to report upon. This end of the world thing is hanging over us like a dark cloud. Just a few days remain in order for us to pen a suitable epitaph for planet Earth. From Big Bang to lots of mini Bangs with a lot of banging in between.

Still if the World is to end at least we’ve been seeing a bit more of it of late. They (who are they by the way?) say that travel broadens the mind. Now is this a truism or just a bunch of baloney we ask. We’ve had our eyes on a nice piece of research on PF that would attempt to correlate the tolerance, quality of argument and understanding of poster’s thoughts against the amount of travel they have undertaken. Now travel needs to be defined in this context. Merely having had two week hols on the Costa del Sol and steadfastly refusing to eat Spanish food and talking very loudly but slowly in English is obviously not travel. Neither is having undertaken one of those whistle stop tours of 29 European capitals in 21 days. You know the tours we mean. The ones where you can fit in Minsk in addition if the coach party agree to forgo toilet breaks for three days and limit themselves to less than a thousand photos per stop before politely jumping back on the bus. No, travel in this context is taking the time to try to understand different cultures, ethics, languages and customs. It’s not just backpacking and taking the local buses. It’s more than that. Travel is what Ryszard Kapuscinski did. A great author and true humanist. Now there would have been a magnificent guest author of the Omnibus Edition. (Great, some semblance of relevance to Poland at last Sz – Ed) We were getting there. It’s difficult getting back into the flow here boss. In our humble opinion great travel writers are up there with the literary giants. If nothing else who would you rather have with you when your truck breaks down in the Gobi Desert – Kapuscinski or Dostoevsky? One could fix the truck whilst the other would bang on and on about St Petersburg and moral rectitude.

Now our point is would it be possible to say definitively that, for example, noimmigration’s intolerance, bad spelling and general lack of respect left you in no doubt that he has never ventured outside of the Gorbals, or if he had it was on the aforementioned Costa del Sol package tour. In contrast could we assume that Osiol for example was widely travelled? We will never know I guess since the data is not there, and anyway we’re all doomed later this week anyway .Still it was worth a muse.

So to the action then. (About bloody time too Sz, just remember I have outsourcing options now. I have Miranda’s contact details and even the short form stuff that the donkey knocked out is looking viable now – Ed). Ooh we’re like trembling in our sandals.

Political Shenanigans

It seems like the Republicans have got themselves a woman running mate. Bit like us when we go down the park for a jog. This has stirred up the US members to debate the rights and wrongs of the poor lady. Some like her a lot and some don’t like the pro life stance or the haircut. We wonder if her hubbie is actually starring in Deadliest Catch. Over in Canada the Liberals appear to be angling to force an election too. We were amused to hear Stephan Whathisname being interviewed on the TV out there. Interesting tactic to have a spokesman (leader?) who in unintelligible to the English speakers. Still at least no one could claim that he did not fulfil his election promises since nobody could understand what they were in the first place. So it’s going to be all change in North America. Can’t see the same applying to Russia ourselves. Putin’s Poodles will exist for ever I guess. Mind you he did commit a bit of a faux pas by being photographed shooting tigers. Someone should point out that there are less Siberian Tigers left than cow tailing oligarchs. The Animal Liberation Front will probably get him now. Nice to see George W humming Georgia on My Mind during the Olympics in between goosing the US beach volleyball team.

It ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it.

At last the ladies have revolted against some of the more shall we say unimaginative and disrespectful posts from the internet groping fraternity. Whilst we empathise with the ladies in we still found the intensity of their broadsides frightening. Made us think twice about the PPPP (Polish Princess Propositioning Post) that we were composing at the time. No messing with this lot.

One in, one out and when you’re here please don’t shake it all about.

You have to hand it to the man. Within what seemed like minutes from the story hitting the Press, noimmi had posted news of the latest think piece on immigration into the UK. For non EU nationals the proposal is that a new immigrant can only come in when one leaves. Sounds like a reasonable solution to pressure on public services and budgets – at first glance. The reality could be more frightening though. You can just see hoards of would be immigrants at Heathrow waiting to pounce on unsuspecting foreign looking passengers flying out to see if they’re leaving the UK for good. Fights would break out. It’s bad enough now at tube stations with people looking to see if you’ve finished with your daily travelcard. Just imagine what it would be like if Uk residence was up for grabs.

Confusion reigns

Time was on here you could just about remember who is who and even have a reasonable chance of remembering which continent they resided in. Now as numbers grow inexorably larger it’s getting more difficult. To make matters worse the choice of names is becoming a pain. I mean take Bebi. No offence but it’s very close to Babi and I’m sure we had a Barbi at one point too. So let’s make a conscious effort to differentiate ourselves shall we. Like Bebi_polishcityname_age_not_looking_for_love for example (sorry if I’ve misrepresented Bebi there but you get my drift) . Also let’s have an end to the Michal, Michal2, Puzzler, Puzzler1, Puzzler2, Puzzler_I’ll_be-Back stuff as well. Talking of Babi we vaguely recall that at the ripe old age of 23 she was worried about getting old. Szarlotka was not impressed and went into deep shock.

New proposed jobs category

It’s just occurred to us that we need a new category for Premiership Football Managers and Oligarch Chairmen. Obviously it is no use having this on an English forum as precious few of them are English. Instead we propose to host it here so that every one time manager of the St Etienne Under 13s boys Division 2 runners up sides can advertise themselves as being available to be manager at West Ham or Newcastle. Then the billionaire owners of such clubs can easily sign them up on millions of pounds a year with buyout clauses after three matches when the managers of Valencia under 7 girls teams make themselves available. If we charge $50 an advert we could do away with Premium membership and get admin that well deserved villa in the Bahamas. And what is it with Manchester City signing Robinho. Word on the street says that City pulled a cunning stunt by sending Mr Bob. E. Charlton , who works in the bar at Eastlands, to offer him a chance of playing in Manchester. Obviously a Brazilian based in Madrid had never even heard of Man City and since it was the great Bob E. He signed on the spot.

Hueg go your way, I’ll go mine

Nice to see the Huegmeister popping by more often. The man has the power to cloud the clearest day in a mist of impenetrable prose. A sort of reverse lighthouse really. The distinctive refusal to use the quote feature is another quirk that differentiates him from the crowd. Is this all an effect from an extended period in Austria? Is it really that boring that man is forced to play on words and formats in a desperate attempt to retain his sanity. If Wednesday goes wrong we may never know.

Oh well, hear endeth another content free incoherent ramble. If you have enjoyed this then please tell your friends, assuming you have some. If not then please tell the management.

4/10 Sz. Too long, too rambling. No passion. You are on probation as at now - Ed

Another epic - thanks Szarlotka

I liked it, thank you szarlotka for the summary.

would somebody be so nice and give me a summary of szarlotka's summary? please ;P

Stuff happened. The world is going to end in a big bang where we get covered in sticky Swiss Chocolate. Sz is confused as per normal. Have a good day

good on Mr Szarlotka. Thanks a lot.


so true;0

Oh damn. I had a wizard idea to have a poll on voting for the PF member who would be the next guest author of the Omnibus. Guess what - no polls in Off Topic.

years ago I was bored at work and was reading a sports column (imagine ho bored I must have been). I came upon a little article written by a Polish journalist who was commenting on his first impressions on Australians during the Olympics. He was obviously not a sport writer but he was paid to write something and I happened to dislike it, so I send a little comment to Warsaw.

A week went by, I was enjoying a nice Sunday at home and I received a call from the editor of sports section from Warsaw. He called in reply to my comment and told me that I took apart a famous Polish journalist who happens to be a prof of journalism at Warsaw University. I was shocked. I didn't give in. He tried to intimidate me but I said that I just expressed what I was thinking.

Why would you have a poll?

Why the hell did I write this?

The Omnibus edition is part of Polish culture isn't it?

As you and miranda both share the same writing skills, and the same sense of humour, why don't you both be duel writers to the Omnibus edition? She could be your North American correspondent, keeping an eye on matters across the pond, and you can keep an eye on us crazy folk in Europe?....just a thought:))

You don't get out of it that easily Pan Pie

another enjoyable read.....I'm looking forward to the next one

good one but no thank you. I am back at school now, so there will be no time to write anything besides regular postings.

I also took up swimming with a handsome lad and he is wearing speedos, so I think that my priorities changed:)

i think mama miranda prefers keeping an eye on our morals and putting us strait in line ;P ...while paps pie and his buddy guinness do the best omnibus job ever... so don't stir it, plz...

:P

I was thinking more of a pick on some poor soul once a week and insist they write the Omnibus or else face the massed hoards of mocking voices if they duck out of it. It would be nice to have a few people summing up the week from a Polish or Poland based perspective.