It cannot be willed, willed away or changed.
Which is unfortunate for you, given that you want to be Polish but very simply are not, as is shown by your lack of even a single Polish grandparent and thus your inability to get a Polish passport by descent. Poor you.
the international arrest warrant he seems to be fleeing
If I was fleeing an arrest warrant, I'd pick a country where the police don't make routine background and interpol checks on everybody who is applying for a residency permit. You clearly know that the police here make routine background and interpol checks on everybody who is applying to naturalise as a Polish citizen, that's one of the reasons you refuse to get a Polish passport.
throw his pursuers off his trail.
Perhaps you'd like to tell us what I'm being pursued for? But before you do that, why not tell us how much you purchased your current property for and where the money for the purchase came from? It's no secret among your former colleagues, but perhaps you'd like to tell us too?