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My Polish wife's mom is asking for money


Harry7778
20 Jan 2014  #1
Hello all,

I am currently living and working in Poland for over then a year and I am married to a Polish women.
My wife her parents are since I got a job daily asking, calling us and ask if we earn enough, if we can live of it etc...

We dont wanna tell them my salary as it is for my private information and nobody have to know what I earn. They think now that we earn 1600 - 2K per month. But since I got an car they think I am rich and they sending my wife letters and asking if I can pay their bills of 200 zł per month as they take all the time loans, wasting too much money on groceries and addicitions they are not able to pay their bills and going in a mood like; see now your dad has to go on bike to work instead of car.

How could you advise to handle her parents? They think that I am able to pay them rest of there life and I gave them earlier money but they never paid me back.
Crow 137 | 7,632
20 Jan 2014  #2
We dont wanna tell them my salary as it is for my private information and nobody have to know what I earn.

very wise man.

But, tell me, your wife is familiar with your exact income? Its not popular in my country. why should she know it? give her some approximate number, not exact. You must leave yourself some maneuverable space
smurf 39 | 1,981
20 Jan 2014  #3
Politely tell them to find the nearest, highest cliff....within cycling distance, of course, and to take a long running jump over the edge.
Kocio
20 Jan 2014  #4
I'm Pole. Whata a parasites! Tell them you're not a charity institution! Your salary is not their business. You're not Bill Gates and you never give them any money. Non. Never.
Schmiznurf 9 | 31
23 Jan 2014  #5
My wife's mother knew about 1000 we had put away just in case, and something came up that required her to need precisely half. I don't believe it and I don't think my wife did, although she still gave it to her.

I wouldn't pay any of their bills or ever let them know how much you get. In fact I would probably not let your wife know either.
McDouche 6 | 286
23 Jan 2014  #6
How could you advise to handle her parents?

Sadly, this seems to be a common phenomenon in Polish families. The Poles are way too family-oriented to the point that it's not healthy. Unless they are in some extreme circumstances and cannot help themselves, do not pay them a dime!
f stop 25 | 2,513
23 Jan 2014  #7
The best retort is to cry poverty as well. Remember, in Poland complaining is an acceptable, even polite (!) thing to do, while saying you're comfortable is equivalent to boasting, and will invite many requests for help.
gjene 14 | 200
23 Jan 2014  #8
There might be a way to scare them off. But to do so, talk to a lawyer and explain the situation and what you are thinking of and get the papers drawn up. My idea is this, if they want to mooch money off of you, then they will have to sign papers stating that you have power of attorney regarding all financial issues of theirs.Make sure you get additional papers made up for any and all places they may work to say that you have power of attorney and that any money earned by them is to be handled by you from that point on. As for any places that they got loans from, pay the loans off and tell these places that you have power of attorney and your inlaws are to be denied accessibility to such places from that point on. If your inlaws refuse to sign over all financial responsibility over to you in regards to the power of attorney, then tell them they will not get any assistance from you. Also, find out what would happen to them if they are financially destitute because of their incompetence in handling their finances, Since Britain had a poor house over a century ago.
Harry
23 Jan 2014  #9
Also, find out what would happen to them if they are financially destitute because of their incompetence in handling their finances

If they were financially destitute, no matter what the reason for them being in that state, they would be able to file with the family court for financial support from their children, i.e. the OP would have to pay up (or at least his wife, but his income would be taken into account by the court when assessing how much should be paid).

Polish law isn't like US law, so giving advice about it based solely on one's knowledge of US law is not the best of ideas.
gjene 14 | 200
23 Jan 2014  #10
That is why i advised about going to a lawyer about this situation. If they think I am going to drain myself financially in order to support them, then I want power of attorney over their financial matters. That way any money the parents earned can be handled by someone who is responsible. That way the individual who made the posting will not be drained financially. That is why going to a lawyer about the situation before it goes to the courts makes sense. That way you know where you stand and if the power of attorney is a feasible solution and by talking it over with the inlaws about this, maybe the courts can be avoided. If the inlaws dont agree and it does the person can tell the courts that you tried to talk with the inlaws and avoid the courts but the inlaws refused to agree to the offer.
f stop 25 | 2,513
23 Jan 2014  #11
In this situation, handing your money to a Polish lawyer is a bad idea.


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