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My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed.


sylvio
28 Jun 2014 #61
I will assume you are an intelligent man. Beat them at their own game. To start with you must eliminate the positive feedback they get by seeing their prejudice worry you. Look for ways to tease them out of their trouble. For example email them or send a letter with your photo showing your first bash at making a good ' bigos' and how you made sure it came out the right colour. Use humor, humor and more humor, as your weapon, and insist on keeping in touch, ignoring any of their rebuffs. Give them updates, send cards, photos etc. With time they will capitulate.
Wulkan - | 3,203
28 Jun 2014 #62
Use humor, humor and more humor, as your weapon

What if he doesn't have a sense of humor?
sylvio
28 Jun 2014 #63
Then...his wife will probably leave him soon enough.
Guesstrophic
1 Jul 2014 #64
REASON: cause i'm black!

If you seriously feel strongly about this then go www dot reportracism dot pl. Let some specialist help you.

But really, It can't be that serious. You have not even done the face to face with the parents. Why are you even complaining here?
imano 10 | 42
2 Jul 2014 #65
how can i do face-to-face if they don't want to meet me after knowing i'm black? :/
CaptainH00k
8 Jul 2014 #66
My Polish girlfriend's parents hate me too. I'm half German and half Nigerian so you can image LOL.

Yes though, my girlfriend says Poland has many racists who would not like their children marrying non-whites.
TigerEyeInme
9 Jul 2014 #67
Black people are pretty rare in Poland and every family is different on acceptance. I would just try to be as gentlemanly as you can & use what knowledge of Catholicism or find common ground to show you appreciate their culture. Culture is pretty huge to Poland, especially since they have survived as a country after being bullied by every surrounding country for their entire existence pretty much. They are hardworking, stubborn, and very proud... but that is part of their charm :)
InWroclaw 89 | 1,911
9 Jul 2014 #68
There's a multiracial [black] couple near me and the other day I saw a white Polish lady cuddling a mixed race young child. I assume this is a grandmother and grandchild. Anyway, I have seen 2 or 3 such unions here in Wrocław now, and everyone seems to be getting along fine.
solidarity - | 15
10 Jul 2014 #69
Yes though, my girlfriend says Poland has many racists who would not like their children marrying non-whites.

Do these "racists" abuse & mis-treat non-whites? Otherwise they are not racist

For example: Do you speak Polish? If not, surely you can understand why someone would prefer you not around.
imano 10 | 42
10 Jul 2014 #70
@solidarity: i speak fluent conversational polish. my gf's mum said they don't want any black person in their family. what do you call that?
solidarity - | 15
10 Jul 2014 #71
I would say you are a rare example. But you are doing something (heavily) against the norm of this Globe. This is always met with confusion & opposition.

The poster I quoted: He's German & Nigerian. He is now settling with a Polish girl. So 3 distinct contrasting cultures. Are we to believe the children will learn & speak Polish? If this situation was widespread, would there be native Polish culture or society in 50+ Years?
imano 10 | 42
10 Jul 2014 #72
is it his fault he was born half German half Nigerian? did i choose to be black? no. am i human? yes. isn't humankind older than culture? so what are you trying to tell me?

for me, i'm going to be with my gf. so far as she wants to be with me (and she wants to) irrespective of whatever her parents say. i'll respect them (they prolly don't need my respect, their problem). it's not them i'm going to be with, neither is my gf. i respect my polish gf and i'd do anything for her. any 3rd's person thought is their own burden.
solidarity - | 15
11 Jul 2014 #73
I understand your frustration and it is justified.

When I was young an old man at work told me "Oh you are Polish? Very resilient people. To retain the culture after all the hardship"

Poland was occupied for 163 of the past 240 years. Faced with Russification, Germanisation & outright slaughter (17% of Total Population in WW2)

Whenever I meet a Polak, it is an instant connection. We always share a common story of hardship and then our ambition for Polands future. Poland isn't just a place we were born, Polish isn't just a language we were taught, being a Polak is in our blood and the culture shapes the individuals we are today. For better & worse.

So imano, the previous poster and yourself cannot comprehend the hardship & sacrifice just like I can't African slavery

Are you Catholic? This is probably a big issue in your relationship with her parents. When I dated girls from Catholic backgrounds, it instantly brought gained acceptance from the parents.

Ultimately, her families blood line will die once you reproduce. The kids will not practice Polish culture (given the infuse of other cultures) and until/unless Poland sees a significant change in it's population demographic (like 75% White), the kids will stick out like a sore thumb. In Europe, multiculturalism was accepted if not even encouraged for the previous 20 years but those times are over. Non-European immigrants ruined it for everyone. There is now strong opposition growing to keep things in house.

Again, I'm sorry for you as I understand having previously dated girls out of race. But that comes with the territory. Most of this Globe is homogeneous. As the World becomes more globalized with social media, people enjoy being able to click OFF and return to their comfortable common society. Travel is affordable and open. If I want to experience an exotic culture I can board an airplane, I don't want the exotic culture outside my doorstep.

As Poland continues improving economically, this will attract more outsiders. But chances are you two won't end up living in Poland anyway. (For better & worse) you will take her to another country to raise your "Half Polish" kids. Unless your kids also have a Polish spouse, they will end up just like endless other "I'm part Polish" folks on this globe with no connection to Poland.
Wroclaw Boy
11 Jul 2014 #74
being a Polak is in our blood and the culture shapes the individuals we are today.

What a destructive mindset that is, precisely the kind of thought process which perpetuates racism.

Ohh wait it gets better:

The kids will not practice Polish culture (given the infuse of other cultures) and until/unless Poland sees a significant change in it's population demographic (like 75% White), the kids will stick out like a sore thumb.

Ohh boy
solidarity - | 15
11 Jul 2014 #75
Words and broad labels don't scare me. Ending up like the Native Americans does
Wroclaw Boy
11 Jul 2014 #76
ifor me, i'm going to be with my gf. so far as she wants to be with me (and she wants to) irrespective of whatever her parents say. i'll respect them (they prolly don't need my respect, their problem). it's not them i'm going to be with, neither is my gf. i respect my polish gf and i'd do anything for her. any 3rd's person thought is their own burden.

Right on brother, you stick with it mate and you'll be just fine.

Don't let the brain dead drones get you down.
solidarity - | 15
11 Jul 2014 #77
More broad labels. You aren't even Polish, on 'Polishforum'
Wroclaw Boy
11 Jul 2014 #78
You aren't even Polish, on 'Polishforum'

Ohh no hes pulling the racist card on me.

Words and broad labels don't scare me. Ending up like the Native Americans does

Humm i don't see the Blacks or any other non white/European ethnic group coming to Europe and mercilessly slaughtering the indigenous population. What the hell are you talking about.
solidarity - | 15
11 Jul 2014 #79
Ohh no hes pulling the racist card on me.

Why spend 5 years of your life online lobbing race cards at Polish people? Do you feel you are fighting some sort of crusade against Poland
Wroclaw Boy
11 Jul 2014 #80
If you managed to string together something reasonably smart and sensible without the ridiculous assumption i might just be able to muster up a reply, but you didn't so i wont.
solidarity - | 15
11 Jul 2014 #81
Thanks for your contribution in this thread. Run along now.
ich_heissen_joe
13 Jul 2014 #82
@solidarity: What is your problem? Why do you feel you have the right to control Polish women? The facts show that Polish women are marrying non-Polish men at record highs. Perhaps Polish men like you are one of the reasons why Polish women avoid Polish men.
Vox - | 172
18 Aug 2015 #83
my gf's mum said they don't want any black person in their family. what do you call that?

Parenting. Your sense of entitlement is disturbing.
POLACKS
19 Jun 2023 #84
because they are all racist.. even towards their own children... hilter should have helped them.. so that children don't have to suffer in their full of **** families
Alien 20 | 4,740
26 Jun 2023 #85
Maybe it is because I'm black.

There is nothing more beautiful than a black man dressed in a white suit.
Novichok 4 | 7,368
26 Jun 2023 #86
because they are all racist.. even towards their own children...

No.
The grandparents can predict future questions from the mean kids - the kind that makes some kids kill themselves - how come you look pale brown? Or, did a ne*gro fu*ck your mom?

Easy stuff like this as if having a big red zit was not enough.
Alien 20 | 4,740
27 Jun 2023 #87
in a black suit

Men in black are not the same as black men in white.


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