I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland

Except that paying child support has nothing to do with marriage.

Hi Guys, i know its been a while since i posted. but i just wanted to thank you all for your opinions.

I moved out of my matrimonial home, my daughters passport is secure, I am now filling for divorce and also for a joint residency order so that my wife can understand that as a mother she does not have more parental rights to our child than me..

Things are starting to look up and i slowly slowly starting to feel happy again..

thanks to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you! Glad to hear that things are getting better.

It does when domestic court laws and practices deny a man an equal opportunity to raise the children and instead stick 'him' with child support which is rarely, if ever, accounted for by the female. By the way, those women who lost custody (usually because of some addiction) have a much higher failure rate when it comes to paying child support. I'm not sure if any of them have been jailed unlike the thousands of men who have for failure to pay....


Good luck with that. In theory (but not in actual practice) a father does have 'equal rights' in custody cases. Stay strong!


Good to hear. You might however, be interested in this: fathersandfamilies.org/?p=17179

Western courts are so screwed up that this article shows yet another instance (there have been many) where a father is responsible for child support even when that child is not biologically his. A woman can commit child fraud and not get punished. Instead, the duped non father owes a small fortune. Many other articles in this link are more encouraging. I recommend reading them.

Here's an interesting case.

seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004046062_sperm01.html

A New York man who said he donated sperm to a female co-worker as a friendly gesture and sent presents and cards to the child over the years likely will owe child support for the college-bound teenager, according to a judge's ruling.

Kurt, I've been away on business, then misplaced my PF password and wasn't able to follow up on Your case.

Happy to hear that there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.


From this post I take it that when it comes to the house, living expenses, etc. You're the guy doing all the paying... Hence I don't really understand why You're also the one doing the moving...

She should be moving out, not You.

*sighs*
why not talk about "people" wising up, the Zimster?
My divorce left me minus a cheap flat, and raising two kids with no child support with a dad who mostly refuses to see the kids and is never there for them....:(

Hi Midas good to hear from you, well i dont want to fight about whos staying i spent this whole year dealing with this trouble i now just want to move on at the moment she is making it very diffcult for me to have contact with my daughter. so now i have issued court proceedings all i want is to move on with my life and have my daughter in it wich i should rightfully have and not have to issues court proceedings.. but i think this ex of mine leaving her with everything and still paying for all of her living expenses which will end 10 august 11 is not enough she wants to screw me further by keeping my child away..

Thank god i did not move with her to Poland and thank fully my daughters passport is no longer in her possesion

Well, my only advice is expect the worst so You can be pleasantly surprised if it does not happen. Otherwise I think she will try to milk it for what is worth and will attempt to use the kids and Your time with them as a bargaining chip. Talk to Your solicitor about how to counter this.

Other than that I'm glad to hear that our advice has been profitable to You.

It's because the men are the ones who don't want to get married. Women are the ones who celebrate the marriage ceremony and who make a big fuss over it like some conqueror who rises victorious. Men generally just want to get it over with.

During divorce proceedings false charges which include assault, child molestation, ruin an innocent man's reputation. Additionally, unfair child support and alimony make marriage a bad proposition for men.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZvhIMT4iu5Q


Congratulations on picking a 'bad boy' and then blaming your problems on anybody but yourself.

Zimmy, to be completely fair, I've seen dozens of guys who never gave off the slightest 'bad boy' vibe and who proceeded to screw the girls they married very badly.

So it is a bit unfair to say that she got what she deserved because she "picked a bad boy" unless You know something that I don't.

Really? you've been around "dozens" such men? What kind of circle of friends and acquaintances do you hang around with? Perhaps you should upgrade your friendships. Do you live in a ghetto?


Not at all. People are responsible for their (own) behavior. Many women try to exempt themselves from their own choices and behavior. As you know, the "bad boy" mystique is quite common with lots of women. Do these women 'feel' that somehow their jerky "bad boy" boyfriends will be there for them when they need them? Why would they?

Not really, my permanent place of residence is in London, in a rather affluent part of the city.

Time and time again I've seen colleagues switch their first wife for a younger "upgrade". Usually when they were in their 40's.

None of these guys ever fit the "badboy" profile, almost all were professionals with steady jobs.

Zimmy, you believe all women are "bad". From reading your posts, you just don't understand the union of marriage. in my experience women are generally good, it is just some get tainted along the way, normally due ti the behavior of their husbands. With the exception to the 2% of complete fruit cases.

You must have missed the many posts in various threads where I quote (good) women. That's ok, feel free to generalize.


LOL, again, feel free to assume things you don't know about.


You mean like this?:
When a man hits a woman the comments usually go like this; "he belongs in jail, what a brut...."
When a woman hits a man the comments usually go like this: "what did he do to make her hit him....."
With manginas like you, the man is always wrong.


Where did you get that figure? From Susan Brownmillier?

Spend just 20 minutes and read the bottom line that sums up each individual study. You might get the real picture; that is, if you are objective.

csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

Zimmy, it would depend on your upbringing or your dragging up. Men don-t hit women . Period. Just like men don't pay for sex.


I was brought up never to hit a woman, I find solutions to disagreements.
Nor do I p1ss in the sink. What kind of a neanderthal hits a woman?

...and women don't hit men, right?
In the Fiebert Studies, women initiate at least half of all physical violence. What do you think about that?


...and just like women never ever sell sex....


Good for you, same here.


Never ever? C'mon now, not even once?


What kind of neanderthal woman hits a man? I once again refer you to the massive Fiebert Studies. You seem to be like a fish swimming in water and not realizing that it's wet because it's all around you and that's all you know. I say this because your recent comments chastise men only; while I note the whole picture which you prefer not to see. You'd make a good feminist.

Zimmy, Overview of Fiebert's Annotated Domestic Violence. I will read the report when I have spare time.

zimmy picked a bad girl and now we are all suffering on PF..

Evidently you don't have much "spare time" or do objective facts confuse you?


"Ah suffer". (this video shows typical female response to Zimmy - difference is, Zimmy has blond hair and is much nicer looking :))

Upon getting married, men lose many rights, at least in western societies. That's because the male instinct is to protect women but it's gone way overboard. I don't recommend marriage for men because the institution of divorce discriminates against men.

1/ Half of all marriages end up in divorce and women initiate 70% of all divorces. The reason for that is women have less to lose for a variety of reasons including support services which are denied men.

2/ Men lose the house and half the assets (or more) after a divorce. Women sometimes get government assistance as well.

3/ Men lose custody of the children 89% of the time and their visiting times are frequently and informally controlled by the mother of the children.

4/ The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), means that your wife can call 911, claim abuse or simply be afraid of you, have you arrested with no evidence and get a restraining order put against you, again with no evidence. There is no corresponding act for men. False accusations are at an all time high.

5/ In the U.S. the Bradley Amendment ensures that if you lose your job or become injured, alimony & child support will not be adjusted & if you can't pay, you will be imprisoned while your obligations continue to mount. No excuses.

6/ Approximately 10% - 12% of children are not the fathers' but the financial responsibility is still there for them even after a divorce (women cheat as often as men).

7/ Too many women use their husbands as their sperm bank, walking ATM, wage slave, retirement fund and whipping boy. It's how they've been raised by womens magazines, articles, books, gender studies, and the "You go girl" mentality.

It's safer for men to play Russian Roulette.

Reminder: the reality of this thread is based in POLAND, not in the USA.

brixtongurl: My divorce left me minus a cheap flat, and raising two kids with no child support with a dad who mostly refuses to see the kids and is never there for them..

Congratulations on picking a 'bad boy' and then blaming your problems on anybody but yourself.
(Predictable quote from Zimmy)
I take responsibility for myself and my kids and my mistakes. Please dont make assumptions.
I think you maybe blaming women too much for your problems. I was merely attempting to balance your portrayal of men as sad victimes of evil women. Time to "man up" ??

That is admirable, especially in our current "gimme gimme" cultures.


I didn't make any about you (unless you are brixtongurl).
What I wrote above is a generality that is based on truth.


Not to worry; It isn't about me; it is about culture and law that is very disadvantageous to men.


That's the problem. Men have to "take it like a man" but women don't.

Open your mind: elusivewapiti.blogspot.com/2008/07/boats-and-votes.html

From the link: " Women .... complain about the disappearance of chivalry. They want men to "take the initiative" in dating and court them. They want men to protect them, to the death if necessary. They want men to be "chivalrous", while themselves rejecting the old-style social contract that demands that women be ladies in return, ladies who accept the bounds and limits that chivalry places upon women in exchange for protection from the rough and tumble of real life. They want suffrage, want to pick and choose those things that benefit them the most, but do not want the uglier responsibilities of equal citizenship, such as being called up in a draft or risk losing their mother-preference in divorce custody decisions.".................................and oh, so much more.........

I have listened very carefully to what you say Zimmy and alot of it is true.........for example women throwing punches at men etc etc (yes so much more and I have taken on board many of your points).....but it doesnt mean that there are no longer men who refuse to step up to their responsibilities. Then you say this is BrixtonGurls fault cos she chose a bad guy! A lose lose argument for women!

maybe you chose a bad girl too ?

hi everybody glad to see zimmy is still active :-)

i think guys have not received the new memo onhow to deal with21st century woman :-) everyone that has helped me with suggestions has been great and i just want to say THANK YOU!!!!!

Zimmy who?

Lol, Zimmy's been a bit more mellow lately, trying to offer his friendly advice on PF (cough, cough.) I let him borrow my Midol.

That can't be true! He's still on my banned list.. you really think I can peak without getting aggravated?

Known to his friends as "dynamic and innovative and of course modest"; all this and so much more despite his good looks.
Known to his enemies as the "Hammer of the Gods" and "Destroyer of Political Correctness".


Oh c'mon; we all know you're just saying that. Have you paid the experts yet?; the ones you hired to decipher my every word and meaning?


No; you can't because you have not yet evolved to use logic instead of emotion; but someday, if you conquer your fear of the truth you just might make it:)


I am the most mellow-fellow on the north American continent.


That's what you told me but then I noticed that the pill you gave me looked a lot like a Viagra pill. Really now....

edit: f stop; One more bit of advice: When women use logic instead of emotion, it is noticeable that their butts get smaller. My scientific team is working on explaining this phenomena.

Zimmy, can you do us all a favour and turn gay? Then we can be spared your ignorant proclamations about women. Seriously - I'll bet you hardly know any apart from your mother and the neighbour you secretly covet.

Kurt, good luck with your situation.

Since you are asking for advice on a public board.

I would not move to a foreign country/no language with a marriage which seems to be ending. You will not only loose most of your legal power but you will also loose you friends' support network (which will be very hard on you psychologically) combined with being in a country where you cannot communicate/different culture - the results will be disastrous on you psychologically speaking - especially with a divorce looming.

As I understand you are thinking of giving into her conditions of trying to work things out, they will not, definitely not if you both move to poland where she will be on her territory. I cannot speak for her intentions, however, I do know, that changing a scenery is not going to solve the problems which brought both of you to a point where there is talk about divorce.

If you truly care about the marriage and/or daughter - go to a marriage counsellor in britain. If she refuses you can only get a divorce and hope to get a custody of the daughter (you can fight her in court and base your case that your daughter will have a better standard of living in the uk/that you have also been the provider for the family and your wife does not even work).

If you ever do decide to move to poland you have to do so with careful planing (get a job with a UK company doing business in Poland/take polish lessons). Otherwise it will fail.

I made a mistake of moving to another country for a woman giving up my former life and it did not turn out well..... The other tidbits about psychology and support network (which is needed in times of stress) you can ask any psychologist about.

Whatever happens with your family I wish you good luck :)

Ignore button works for me. I think Zimmy's mom did not pay enough attention to him, that's why he still so desperately seeks it.