6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her..

"I have booked a flight to Warsaw on Thursday, but she says she might be busy that weekend, so good job it was only a low cost airline."

Oh man I hope I'm wrong but that doesn't sound particularly positive, " she might be busy?" to busy to be with you. Ah Dude, man that doesn't sound good at all.

Hmm. Listen don't come on to heavy towards here if she acts cold and distant when you are in Poland. DON'T GET ANGRY OR VISIBLY EMOTIONAL, when a woman see's a man act like this, two things happen. 1) they gain the upper hand and 2) Emotionally turbulent males are VERY UNATTRACTIVE.

Being cool, real cool is the best defense. If for example on your first day of arrival she acts up, ignores you or generally is behaving normally. Tell her you don't want to crowd her or force her in any direction. Get her to order you a taxi to the hotel in town, so she knows the details of where it is and where to contact you. Then go out and party really ******* hard. if she doesn't contact you whilst you are there return to England, lick your wounds and get into some hard work for hard currency.

If on the other hand she contacts you then she means she needs to talk. If all goes well scratch the idea above, if not carried on as outlined.:)

Man I'm now 31 with a missus of 5/6 years, during my early 20's (probably as half the older males on the board can testify) I had a relationship of 4 years which turned sour and another of 1.5 years. Unfortunately life is a learning curve and sometimes you are someone else's curve, leaving you with an unexspected lesson.

Look on the brightside, we could all die tomorrow so appreciate what you have while you have it. When its go **** it and move forward.

sparky mate... she's messing with your head...

frankly speaking, if she says she might be busy, it's kind of weird.. you are comeing to see her, from UK, and she says: I might be busy...

hmm yeh thats very strange, she is not interested any more or she needs time to make desision about you..If she really care she ll ring u when u come over to poland.if not ....:(

Quoting: Sparky359, Post #26
I have booked a flight to Warsaw on Thursday, but she says she might be busy that weekend.

Danger Will Robinson. Are you going to Warsaw to specifically try and see her? Was it I'm in Warsaw (casually like) would you like to meet up? If she is possibly busy that weekend then when is she free? One would think that she would be more joyous that her boyfriend is coming to Warsaw to see her but it does sound good.

Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Yeah, I did book the flight to go and see her. A few days after I flew back to the UK after New Years Day she asked "When are you back" so i booked to go back out to so that I would see he on a regular basis and keep this relationship going.

But, its Wednesday today, and I haven't heard much positive encouragement or any encouragement to be honest that really makes me want to catch my flight in the morning. She lives 1 -2 hrs away from Warsaw.

Yes, I agree Phasic, you think she would be joyous to know that I was coming to see her for a long weekend, doesn't leave much hope for a Valentines weekend in Feb hey!

Yeah Casper, I agree with your point. In all the times I have spoken to her, I have never come across as being angry or emotional, I have just been positive and fun to be around etc

But generally its tiring and wearing, I honestly don't think she knows what she wants from life at the moment.

hm r u ringing her often?just ring her today and ask what she wants...and better fly to poland coz then u may regret u didnt do this.Thats my opinion however when u see she doesnt wanna spend time wit u dont put pressure on her and have fun..or maybe she just needs time to find out what she wants.

In Poland we spoke every other day, in the UK it seems to be twice a week.

Texts seemed to have dryed up from her as well.

no, i'll probably not fly in the morning. I have got so much annual leave from work I can go whenever, will call her tomorrow and suggest next weekend???

i cont know is really strange why dont u just ring and talk with her,conversation is nessesary!!something had to happen that she got "cold" :)

hehe of course i meand "dont" no cont:)

Sometimes people say or do things that hurt the person they love but they don't realize they've done it. And the other person won't admit it. Ask her if there's anything you've done or said that has hurt her feelings and appologize, even if she claims there's nothing. Take it from me, Van Helsing.

Sparky359,

You want to know where you stand. You asked her out in the first place, so it's not a unreasable request/inquiry. Do it subtley, no ultimatimums, be patient and understanding.

It may be crunch time mate. You may wish to state your feelings but without getting too emotional. "I know it's difficult us being in two differnet countries. My feelings for you are genuine, I like you and want to be with you. If there is any hope then I'm willing to try but it takes two. How do you feel ?"

If you are not assertive enough you may lose her, if you are too full on you may lose her.

Do you know any of her friends you coukld ask, it will get back to her, if you do inquire? She's a women and there are cultural differences. Women can think the same about men and that we are aloof. We are from truly from Mars and Venus.

I understand how you feel,i booked a flight to see a girl i love tomorrow but she said to me she doesn't have time to see me(only 2 nights)she's busy with her exams,etc.tonight she text me.........'Im just going out with my friends to a party'..........pretty much puts how important i am it into perspective.

Wait as long as you feel you can to see how she feels about your future,if its real its worth waiting for,i find it hard letting go of something that once was so great,maybe i live to much in the past.

I hope it all works out for you.

Griff

The opposite sex can be distracting when revising for exams. I dated an English girl in England (I am English btw) I was 17 and she was 18 at the time. after about 2 months of dating she had to start revising for her A Level exams (no jokes please). I was actually employed and I understood where she was coming from. We kept in contact via the telephone during the exam period and when she completed her exams it was full on. She went to university at 19 and we drifted apart. I was working on my career, she was a student, we were young and met other people.

We have to move on sometimes and in time we can. Women can wreck your head and heart though but I have apparently done the same to women without knowing or trying to hurt them. I just did't have that magic feeling for them. I only date women when they captivate my imagionation and it's never at a first sight thing. Not that shallow. I like many types of women but I'm lost in European girls/women's eyes. Very shallow.

I did ask her last week if there was anything I had done to upset her or something because I hadn't heard off her, but she said no I hadn't, she was just busy helping out with her sisters new born baby.

But I don't know, there clearly is something up, no texts or replies to what I text for two weeks??

She has got a best friend who I am in contact with from time to time, as she worked with her in the UK, and I got to know them both well. But she wouldn't say anything about her friend and I'm sure she did pass on my concerns about the relationship when we talked last.

Yeah, I suppose it is crunch time. What I hear off her might not be what I want to hear really, it would be hard to let go after all the great times we had together over the last six months, but its probably better to know now, than continue living in this state of uncertainty. (would like a decent nights sleep as well)

I appreciate all the advice everyone has posted, makes things easier.

Sparky.

Be patient, there is a lot going on in her life. Text her saying that you miss her and ask her to contact you. I asked a Polish girl out and she didn't give me a repsonse until a week later. Check this. i sent her a note becouasde I work as a teacher in a library and she is a just a customer, not one of my students. I caught her checking me out on multiple occasions and for months. She was going back to Poland that week and she did not want to start anything but told me she is coming back in the same breath. We exchanged e-mail addresses and I sent her an e-mail saying that I hope she comes back and I still want to date her. No reply (October). I'll have to forget her but I can't help but hope. Head wreck. Just say no if your'e not interested and we'll move on.

I

Yeah, I suppose patient is part of it all, it does seem she has a lot of family stuff going on, on a day to day basis.

I spoke with her best friend yesterday, she said she will take her for a beer on the weekend and discreetly ask her about everything, she said she knows something but has to ask her again to be sure.

If you push it too much, you may ruin things. Using the friend is the casual approach.

Hope it works out for you.

well i think is not a bad idea to use a friend to find out true...but her friend can not tell her that u ask for this!!so if u trust hers friend its ok other way (when she tell her about your plan to get informations) ll be really bad...

I know, discretion is a must in these sort of situations. I have asked things to my girlfriend in the past, and she'll just close up if she's put on the spot and feels uncomfortable about a topic, even if its put to her in a gentle way. Her best friend and i suppose my friend, is just going to get a general view of how things are regarding where she feels things are going, I know her and her friend talk about everything that we do together, and I mean everything! :) At least it will give me some sort of idea of how to put things to her, when I talk about things, hopefully.

Well people,

Its the news i have been dreading.

Further to previous posting, my girlfriends friend took her out for a beer on the weekend and they talked about me.

Apparently, she likes me like a friend not like a boyfriend. I am gutted.......................

When I think about all the good times, and the money I've spent, she could have told me earlier?

I now know, I have to ask her myself where things are going, even though I know the answer probably.

I am going to get so pissed tonight.

she was messing with your head mate... better off without her...

enjoy tonights drink... but dont be morbid... onwards and upwards, yeah... :)

no drunken dialing...or texting....its not a good look!

Yeah I suppose.

I was just hoping the info was going to be positive.

It's just weard after visiting the family etc and all the other stuff.

I will talk to her about it, in a way I am hoping she will say something different.
Short term we could be friends, but to here she is with someone else and more would be so hard.

i would leave contacting her for awhile... delete her number to avoid temptation... let her come to you when the time is right...

remember what casper said...

Yeah, but will she come to me? I don't think so!

She doesn't know that her friend has contacted me, so when we speak next, she will be none the wiser.

Perhaps.......I don't know...........she will say something different?

then perhaps this is your answer...

i would think it is a given that she does know that her friend contacted you... dont contact her... if she contacts you see what happens... and if she doesnt then you have your answer...

A long long time ago I was in a similar position to you. Without making too long a story of it, suffice it to say that I had the Iron Curtain and all that entailed to deal with as well. In my heart I knew that she was THE one. Not just a passing attraction. She was the one woman I wanted to be with. If you feel that way then pursue her. Only you can answer that question. Is there anything that you could have done to put her off of you. Do you need to change? Are you willing to change if needs be?

If you want this relationship more than anything and if things don't work out when you meet then write her a letter from your heart. I'm sure your friends here will translate it for you.

Best of luck. I feel for you.

girls will tell each other everything...trust me..

I would suggest you leave it - totally, when a women says "I just really want to be friends" its a really polite way of saying I really dont fancy you that way, but I like your company...It's quite evident that you are interested in her in a romantic way and she is not reciprocting those feelings...thats life, just dont hassle her she will begin to resent it...

I was going to say, do you honestly think she has no idea her friend talked to you? She probably put her friend up to it so as to let you down easy, without having to face you and tell you herself. I'm sorry for you, Sparky, because I know it's painful, but you will survive. You can't force someone to feel something that they don't---you are better off just leaving her alone and moving on. I promise, one day you will find someone who is worthy of your love! Hang in there!:)


Listen to Amathyst----she knows what she's talking about.

I second that....e v e r y t h i n g

No, if in a happy intimate relationship, women dont discuss stuff, its only when things go wrong they start to tell friends what a b*stard you are!!!