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Marrying a Polish divorcee - no church wedding?


ukangel 8 | 56
24 Feb 2013  #1
hi, i am asking this question on behalf of a non catholic (non EU national). i hope the replies here will be able to help him. i have a friend who is in love with a polish girl. he wants to marry her but because she is a divorcee, she said she can't have a church wedding but she doesnot want to marry into any other religion. she can only have a legal wedding. but he wants to have a religious and legal wedding.his question is can his polish girlfriend has a church wedding even if she is divorcee and he doesnot mind a church wedding as far as the wedding is done in a religious institution (that is a church, infront of God). he is non catholic but he respects his girlfriend religion...any input is welcome.
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #2
She can't. There would have to be very important to reasons for the end of marriage and she would have to start veryyyyyyy long prosess of writing to bishops and so on.
OP ukangel 8 | 56
24 Feb 2013  #3
so in that case, they can only marry legally but not religiously.... but will it consider a sin?
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #4
but will it consider a sin

If you look at this from the church point of view- divorce itself is unlawful so the next marriage (or just being in a relationship) is a sin.
OP ukangel 8 | 56
24 Feb 2013  #5
i understand. ok thanks, interesting to know.
this question is from me: what if two widows want to get married? are they allowed in the church?
and another question again from me: if a single catholic woman has a child with a married catholic man, is the child allowed to be baptised in the church and is this consider as a sin? these 2 questions are out of my curiousity
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #6
1- yes, since they are no longer married
2- usually yes but sometimes priests make it difficult
Ironside 47 | 9,613
24 Feb 2013  #7
2- usually yes but sometimes priests make it difficult

Really?
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #8
One priest made some problems because my friend was unmarried (the father wasn't married as well)
Ironside 47 | 9,613
24 Feb 2013  #9
That is not making problems that is an obvious qestion - what would that want to baptize their child? Why on Earth? If they are not religious and do not feel a need to marry in the Church.Most likely they would and will not rise their kid with religion. Why they want burden their child with religion?

I don't know your friends but seems to me that the priest was acting rationally and your friends not. After all baptism is not takeaway to be bought at will.
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #10
I wouldn't baptise my child but she wanted to do it. And as to the "making problems- I couldn't care less but OP asked so I responded.
Ironside 47 | 9,613
24 Feb 2013  #11
Don't take it personally:)
Will you agree with me that the priest was acting rationally making "problems".
Your friend are just brewing problems for her kid in the future when he/she will ask to be removed from the Church evidence.
OP ukangel 8 | 56
24 Feb 2013  #12
No offence to anyone but I think a child is innocent but priest shouldn't agree to baptise the child as it is encouragement to those who have a child without being married.even they know it is wrong as a catholic.that is my opinion.

But someone told me once that priest takes more money if couples are not married!
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #13
As I told you- I really don't care about the church I just think it would be wiser for them to show understanding ( ppl can make mistake and I think we should help them when they want to change their ways- what if the girl wanted to get married but the guy wasn't?). And the child is brought up as a christian- her grandma takes care of that- she goes to church and so on.

But someone told me once that priest takes more money if couples are not married!

Some of them probably do but I wouldn't say that's usual behaviour.
OP ukangel 8 | 56
24 Feb 2013  #14
Lenka I agree we should help ppl when they make mistake. But I think being in a relationship with a married man who has a wife and still in a marriage is not a mistake.and purposely,that girl is the mistress of that man.anyhow thanks for the answers.
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #15
But I think being in a relationship with a married man who has a wife and still in a marriage

That was not the case with my friend but I can understand what you're saying.

thanks for the answers.

You're welcome.
poland_
24 Feb 2013  #16
I wouldn't baptise my child but she wanted to do it.

How old was your child at the time?

so in that case, they can only marry legally but not religiously.... but will it consider a sin?

Read the following handbook:

marriagecare.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/marrying_in_a_catholic_church.pdf

UKangel, if you is placing religious conditions in front of you, she may not wish to marry you - think about it.
thetenminuteman 1 | 80
24 Feb 2013  #17
her grandma takes care of that- she goes to church and so on.

As far as I'm aware, they're not supposed to refuse baptism to a new born child.
Lenka 2 | 1,278
24 Feb 2013  #18
How old was your child at the time?

I don't have a child
Rysavy 10 | 308
25 Feb 2013  #19
as it is encouragement to those who ***

but priest shouldn't agree ***

replace baptism question divorce and you have the answer for your friend

Not sure why the baptism debate is taking over

Maybe I am missing a perspective in this somewhere.
I was not exactly the most pious of Catholics in some life choices but even though I am divorced, I can remarry in the church .But it was nearly 8 months of jumping through hoops and my Parish Deacon insisted after I came to him before it was even finalized. But in my case it is which criteria DIDN'T I meet. : (

The divorcee the OP's friend is so enamoured of obviously thinks she has no merit to go through process of absolving her divorce as cannot meet any the criteria.

Did she even have her first marriage through the church? My first marriage was not... if I have another it will be. It would also be my last.

My confusion is if she is irreligious enough to divorce through civil route ...and still willing to marry in ANY way (which means conjugal relations for sure ^-^) why only civil? If a practicing Catholic she therefore still would be "in sin"... So what is missing here?

Why worry about remarriage as sinful in a different church unless divorce wasn't her idea, the partner is one that filed? Is your friend trying to get her to convert to something else?

Most protestant christian churches (least here in US) don't require that BOTH parties be in that religion (baptist, Methodist, what have you). If she is that worried about staying catholic proper to point of not wanting that wedding... she shouldn't be remarrying at all. Lot of mixed signals.

The handbook link is something your friend should peek at.
edit: space bar fail


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