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How long should i wait to romance a Polish girl after she broke up with her boyfriend of three years?


rumination 2 | 6
26 Dec 2017 #1
I like this polish girl at works at the same warehouse as me in the UK. She is 23 years old and works with her fraternal twin sister who work on a slightly later shift that coincides with mine but were originally on the same shift when i first started and in order to make it easier to understand i will refer to her by the name Gita. The company has an extensive polish workforce which is probably the majority ethnic group at the warehouse which also includes several other groups from Europe.

Anyway Gita was one of the first girl i remember noticing when i started working their but it was kind of a chaotic since i was still figuring my way around the job and the first i was attracted too. She was on holiday the first couple of weeks i started and came back in early july from a holiday friends and her long term boyfriend. I didn't know she was dating anyone until a couple of month later or that she had a sister which chalks up to me not being very observant at times. I noticed her initially and believed she was another new starter since i never saw her earlier but quickly noticed she was rather knew she wasn't after seeing talking with the guy i directly work with and number of other coworkers in way that suggested she had some kind of standing report with them. I initially hadn't tried pursuing her since i wasn't fully comfortable with the job and was trying to get into the routine but i saw her around since she was a picker and i was more interested in other girls at this point too which included one of her 'girlfriends', supervisors wife and her twin sister at different times throughout the months of july till mid december but most of them never came of it especially when i found out at least two were spoken for. She seemed rather quiet not sure if she was just shy or just a reserved girl who only spoken to those she was comfortable with. I would catch her looking at me from time to time i initially assumed it was like i was just a nosy and curious about someone i never seen or met up-to this point and in my case it helped i thought she was really cute. She continued this sporadically through out the summer and i started greeting her which seemed rather nervous and quiet almost inaudible at times while other times she would greet me herself. She usually looked away when i caught and we never really spoke thought she did occasionally ask for help on occasion while sometimes she would spontaneously cheerful and friendlier than usual. She often wouldn't make eye contact at all usually looking down or away when i looked at or she spoke and other times and random uncalled for smiles.

I have studied body language and did notice a few signals of interest from Gita such hair stroking or flicking and looking down at the side. While i was working a different job on the same shift as her she was having excited animated conversation with a older fella at the scanning stations and was talking about a bunch of random subjects thought i occasional got involved i was too busy on my end to do more than eavesdrop. It was during September I found out she had boyfriend and the way she talked about him sounded like a solid and joyous relationship. She had brought up a few times in a row i was kind of disappointed by the news even though i was crushing on her friend at the time however said girl was away on holiday but that's another story and eventually fizzled out recently after months build up and nothing much came of it. Once i found out i quickly distanced myself from my interest in her as i wasn't going to compete or attempt to steal her away. While i kept my distance she started becoming more comfortable around me and slowly started being more easy going and less shy though the signals of interest i originally picked up on and catching her looking at me diminished at the same time.

It was at the start of November that seemly out of the blue things were not all right between Gita and her boyfriend since came to work one day and was overcome with grief. I almost guessed right away that it most of been boyfriend trouble or maybe someone she cared about had passed away but the former was my go to guess. Her friends tried to comfort and she continue to work the shift despite her personal problems and you could tell she was a little rougher looking than normal since she wore less make up and looked red and puff from crying over significant period of time. While on break i looked up on her facebook and noticed she had seemly Un-tagged her boyfriend from all the pictures her relationship status wasn't visible but it had been hidden awhile ago prior to this for at least a month or maybe more. She also had posted a few memes on relationship problems some similar to her own. I am not good at consoling or comforting people i find it very uncomfortable and not sure what to say but later on when she had calmed down a bit i asked her how she was doing and she said she was fine despite obviously not being, It would be during the weekend when i hang out with mutual friend that i find out more about what happened. Her boyfriend had grown distant from her over past month or so hanging out increasing long hours with his friends and spending steadily less amount of time with her which she soon noticed. She apparently confronted him on his aloofness and he told her he was no longer in love with her or some variation. As the weeks passed after she started brightening up again and no sign of the seemly impending break up and i figured they made up somehow and she had once again publicly displayed their relationship status. Despite it i noticed she was acting differently including posting more selfies, going on girls nights and returned home to poland for a couple of days with out him. She seemed in rather cheerful happy mood seemly forgotten the earlier events.

It was last week or so that they broke up officially on facebook i noticed that her boyfriend was suddenly single on relationship status while was still in a relationship and one day later she changed hers to single as well. I assume they must of broken up officially awhile back but didn't change their status right away. She has also recently returned home for the christmas holidays so i can't make any moves now even if i was ready to.

So that the gist of what happened and i have found myself getting infatuated with her all again lately and would like to get to know better and possible ask her out in the next month or so. But the problem is one she will most certainly be on the rebound and since i do really like her i am not sure i want to end up in that purgatory and two one of her friend who i had been crushing hard on for months is also involved but nothing happened with her yet and i recently lost interest in her due to her less than mature behavior around me lately and she never took rejection or let me go so easily the last time couple of times i started to drift way. Gita also still has her boyfriend on facebook and its safe to conclude due to how the whole break up count down started it wasn't by her choice thought i don't know initiated the break up itself and judging by her behavior in the weeks prior she didn't particularly troubled by anything.

Sorry about the long post but i want some advice how long i should wait before i start showing interest in Gita after the break up also how the awkward history of sorts i have with one of her good friends and hitting on her sister at one point too which ended awkwardly might alter the dynamics. My actual serious relationship experience is very limited despite being twenty six. Thanks for reading.
cms 9 | 1,271
26 Dec 2017 #2
Every day you wait is a chance for her to get back with her ex. Stop ruminating and checking her fb and ask if she wants to go for a pizza.
OP rumination 2 | 6
29 Dec 2017 #3
I am not one for facebook stalking she still isn't back from poland yet i assume. I think i will wait till she is back in person since its kind of tacky asking online i haven't added her yet either.
Ktos 17 | 456
29 Dec 2017 #4
You don't wait! You go for it, like a man. And, by the way, don't touch Polish girls, they are ours!
kaprys 2 | 1,917
29 Dec 2017 #5
@rumination
First of all, you need to get to know her better. Stop overanalysing her body language and fb profile ( why don't you add her? )

I don't think she knows you're interested. Does she know your name?
Anyway, if you really start talking to her, get to know her better, you'll probably know if she's ready for a new relationship. Or if you're really interested or just daydreaming about someone you don't know.
OP rumination 2 | 6
30 Dec 2017 #6
@Ktos I do envy your country of beauties that why i can't say i won't try to take a few for myself and they seem less high maintenance than the equivalent english or American girls ^^. I need to find a nice polish girlfriend before it becomes its own trend and everyone starts pursuing them.

@Kaprys She knows my name and probably one of the few that does but then again a lot of the polish there seem rather quiet even shy outside of there kinsman but still friendly enough at least woman are but the guys are less social. I would except the management there is maybe about twenty or so people who remember my name well enough to actually use it :/. Its no easy job remembering most of there names either until i started noticing a good number of names are fairly common. I haven't added her on facebook since i rarely add girls or anyone on facebook until i am comfortable them knowing more about my personal life and usually i let them add me since its less intrusive unless they specifically ask me to and i agree.

I do need to talk to her more but when i found out she had boyfriend i resolved to avoid any misunderstandings so i didn't initiate conversation myself but despite that we do end up chatting from time to time especially since she is friends with a few of the guys i already hang out with so gradually she stopped being so nervous or reserved like she was at first and we started chatting more. It is hard however to tell when polish woman are actually interested or just flirting out of fun or for attention since even her sister flirted with me and got jealous early in the year when i showed a bit of interested or flirted a bit with another girl. I found out later she had a long term boyfriend who she isn't satisfied with yet seemly unwilling to leave him at least until she has another guy lined up. She has been dating him around the same amount of time or maybe a bit longer than her sister and still cares enough about him to be unwilling to dump him despite looking at other options. My friend keeps telling me a lot of the girls just have bad character (e.g. cock teasing, disloyalty, rude, gold digging etc) not sure if this just his own personal experience or common experience. Two of the younger girls do enjoy and stir up attention but most of them don't. The girl who broke up recently on the other hand seemed to have good relationship by all accounts then it suddenly broke down over the last few months and while she was friendly and had good rapport with pretty much everyone and enjoys making people laugh but she its all platonic even if she occasionally touches or gets touched. She is actually one of the few girls he didn't have warning about despite his warnings it never stopped him laughing or joking around the girls her labeled as trouble. I socialize more with her after new years and see where it goes she might hook up back with her ex or not in the mean time but i am not in any rush to take her out on a date just yet especially since we work together and i am not sure if i want to risk all the drama if we do hook up and it sours i have more too lose than she does in the end. I was and still am excited about her new availability however after giving it some thought it would ill advised for me to jump in with the next girl so soon after moving on from her friend even if I never went all the way. I made the mistake of getting too involved with a girl earlier only to find out she was nothing like i thought she was and in the end it fizzled out. I am hoping she is over it as well when she comes back otherwise its going to make things awkward.

Thanks for the advise both of you.
Ktos 17 | 456
30 Dec 2017 #7
With Polish women you have to be sexual, forget all the British stuff - out the door, and forget thinking that Polish are slutty, they are not slutty, just sexually more flexible, and don't interpret everything as sexual and invitation to sex or rape as you do in Britain, In Poland, your friend's girl can sit on your lap the whole party and it's normal, nothing sexual or at least in a nature of betrayal about that. At the same time, don't be too stiff, get into it. Take her coat, light her cigarette, pull out a chair (even if not all dudes do that), pour a drink or soft drink, you have to pour. Pay the bill, do it before she does, sneak out before the meal is over and pay up, even if she tells you that she will pay. Don't assume Polish women are easy, never! The girl will sense it, sooner or later, don't be stupid. And for God's sake don't be afraid to touch her, noone will sue in Poland for that, be a man, while dancing put the hand on her bum. Learn how to dance, very important in Poland. Once you get her number call her, don't wait, keep contact, maintain it. Always complement her, the dress, shoes, hair. Always be helpful, while walking offer your hand, use opoortunities, puddles, holes, bumps, jump to help, Polish women like that but don't over do it, women are not invalids.

If it's one of my girlfriends, watch it! If Poland runs out of women per men ratio, watch it! Otherwise ok, just loose the pink shirt for the time being, put it on later.
OP rumination 2 | 6
20 Jan 2018 #8
Thanks for advice Ktos it will be useful for the next polish girl i attempt to woo unfortunately the one i was asking about in this thread hooked back up with her boyfriend new year's eve. It seems some of their friends and family were working behind scenes to try and get them back together and eventually succeeded when they arranged a small party. I added her over messenger and we exchanged a few texts the morning before the party.

I didn't ask for her number since it was too soon and a bit tacky over text and probably for the best since it would be awkward knowing what happened later on. However I get the feeling even if she didn't get back together she would have been reluctant to meet up with me or consider dating knowing at least one of her friends I had awkward date with and Her twin sister who at times seems rather awkward around me at times ever since I failed to picker her up and her boyfriend who didn't know existed at the time notwithstanding.

But easy come easy go I am not too hung up over it and she glow her first day back at work so I was happy for her and soon ended interested in someone else who I had thing for when I first started the job but that's another can of worms for another thread.
Crow 137 | 7,756
21 Jan 2018 #9
Don`t wait. Others won`t.
WielkiPolak 58 | 1,034
21 Jan 2018 #10
Rumination, where are you from? I ask because your grammar is quite bad. So I assume not from USA or Britain? Unless you just made lots of mistakes because you had so much to type and wanted to do it quickly.

Anyway I generally don't like these kind of questions because this isn't a dating advice site, but I would definitely have said wait a while. Usually when a girl breaks up with somebody after such a long relationship, the chances are she had strong feelings for him and is still thinking about it.

In this situation that seems to be the case, as you said she got back with his guy recently, so even if you did try to 'move on her' she probably wouldn't have been interested, or even if she went on a date with you, she would have been thinking about him.

Time heals and if she had not been with him for a long time, perhaps many more months, then perhaps it would have been an occasion. Anyway that's my love advice, haha.
OP rumination 2 | 6
23 Jan 2018 #11
I am from the uk but my grammar isn't exactly great. I did use WORD to write it up but I guess the grammar checker didn't work right.


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