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Polish guy and courting? Confusion.

Paulina 9 | 1,448
25 Aug 2016 #31
On the lips...

Well, there you go... It's not rocket science, he's into you :)

I honestly think humanity was far much better a century ago! without mobile phones LOL!

You know, for shy people it may be easier to text sth rather than say it in person. Do you tell/write him things like "I really had a great time today/last night :-)", "Thank you for a wonderful evening :-*", etc? When you write sth like that use this opportunity to send him some "kisses" :)

Btw, Myself, I forgot to mention something. If you grew up in Italy you may be in for a culture shock as far as Polish guys' behaviour towards women is concerned just as I was when I was in Italy. Italian guys are far more straightforward. I was much younger when I visited Italy and I remember how surprised I was when two guys just came up out of nowhere to me and my female friend on Piazza San Marco in Venice and asked us out for a coffee lol We were like: "Is this normal? :O" ;D I was so suspicious of such behaviour that I even thought that they might be working with human traffickers in order to lure some naive tourists because there were so many stories of human trafficking of Polish women and girls in the West that I was really wary. I almost had to drag my friend away from them because she was willing to go with them, I hope she didn't hate me for that ;D

Or those packs of young men/boys yelling after us - for me it was pretty intimidating and the further you went away the louder (and more angry?) they were - I wasn't sure whether they were hitting on us or whether they wanted to kill us ;D o_O

So, since he's not Italian, I'm afraid you'll have to embolden him a bit :)
Maybe when you two meet after the holiday greet him with "Hi, I missed you!" and give him a quick kiss on the cheek and a big smile :) And, as I said, cut the physical distance between you two, when you're walking, walk near him, take his arm, use some opportunities to touch his arm, back... Like when you're going to prepare a meal together, for example, tell him to chop the veggies or whatever and check at some point how he's doing, ask him in a joking way if he's managing and at the same time touch his back or lean on his shoulder - sth like this:

leaning on shoulder

When you're going to watch a film sit close to him and not 5 meters away :). When you're going to comment on some scene in a film lean a bit closer towards him than you normally would, maybe gently touch his arm...

You know, that's basic stuff so I think he should be able to notice all those gestures and interpret them in the right way...

And if he kisses you again, return the kiss - so he wouldn't have any more doubts about whether you liked/wanted it or not :)
26 Aug 2016 #32
I have dated a few Polish and Polish mix men. The two who were native raised were generations apart yet eerily quite similar.
I paid more attention to detail with my present fiance of 3 years (and best pal for 2 before that), hence my original appearance here to get some insight on cultural norms.

I have found Polish men to be shy in approach if they like you in a more serious way. They seem on the whole rather self effacing and may need some encouragement. Poles have a reserve on the whole (Poles have different words for different levels of friendship even. With Honey, I graduated to przyjaciółka in late 2011. And once he slipped cerca in there and I asked the meaning? it was bought and paid for ^_^.)

He is old fashioned, polite in mixed company, family orientated, hard working, sincere, procrastinates worse than me (Im a Libra in that respect) and very Catholic "good boy" side of the scale. He is pragmatic an practical which can kill random romance but trade off is a sense of real security in his sense of responsibility. Passionate once committed. Old fashioned. Very "western " in may ways. Heh. Except his family value and serious heart, he is more American than I am. And I was born here.

I'd go with Paulina's take. He seems cautiously interested. Definitely into you an takin the cues from you. Using the ladylike approach with body language (the lean close/arm touch style) is definitely the right track for how you describe your guy.

Adding some personal compliments would be a boon . Especially those geared to his masculine side. As it applies. maybe as he walks you to car something (only if it can ring true) like " I always feel safe when I am with you". And a warm closed kiss (and see if it leads to more) when thanking him for something like a nice evening out or gift that is obvious proof of his knowing your true likes.

He sounds like a nice guy. And those are worth the extra effort regardless of the home culture they spawned from ; 3
Atch 17 | 3,086
26 Aug 2016 #33
Johnny and atch neither of you have any business being on this thread except to try and cause trouble

This, from one of the forums most active trolls whose main contribution has been comments about the size of Polish mens' genitalia.

I'm not sure why the OP, a professional woman in her 30s would take advice from a supposedly pregnant teenager who doesn't believe in using birth control because Polish men don't like it. I, on the other hand am a grown woman who has been married to a Polish man for many years so I'd say I have more business here than you.

@Myself, Paulina is a genuine person, you can trust her with her advice, it's sincere. As a Polish woman she's the best person to advise you and you won't do better on this forum.

Bottom line is the guy likes you and you like him. To be honest at your age, you shouldn't really need advice about 'how to let a guy know I like him'. You've known him long enough at this stage that he's not going to think you're a tart if you respond to his tentative advances. The pair of you will have to stop this faffing around or you'll never get together. As Mafketis says, he'll eventually just move on. While you're trying to make up your mind and trying to keep him as a friend until you're sure, he may meet somebody else who'd like to be more than friends. You don't by any means have to sleep with him if you're not ready for that, but you do have to move on to the next level of being a couple. If the pair of you are really too shy or awkward to get that far, then you'll just have to forget about it and take up knitting, simple as that.

I don't take a chance on people

Yes, you do, we all do. You can't possibly know when you begin a relationship with somebody, how it's going to work out. There's always an element of risk.
Myself - | 1
29 Aug 2016 #35

dreamer girl, I have just mentioned we'r in UK, not London. UK...... I don't think it is important whether we live in Liverpool, Dover, London or Manchester.....

Thank you for your offering your standpoint on this :)


en don't differ that

I see your point. Overall you are right. But when we look into individuals (the individuals that are beyond the sexual gender) there are not only black and white actions. There is grey as well. There are people who are not sure, there are people who are wounded, there are people who have their own peculiarity (which maybe is a better definition instead of "awkward". Yes I am in my 30s and don't you think there is a reason if I wrote here? If I was in a regular situation I would have had no need for this. So let's keep judgments on a side.... But yet thank you for your opinion..

Use some body language - find some opportunities to touch him, like holding hands or... um... I don't know the name for this gesture in

I have put that into practice on the first time I met him).I think it was a very Good idea . He looked for it too. At the end I didn't feel too awkward

And... he offered me to go somewhere again :O
Overall, time will tell. But at least now I have got a bit more orientation....

Piazza San Marco in Venice.... I know what u mean. It happens to me when I visit Italy, because usually nobody thinks I am from there. Usually people think I am from east or north Europe and they start talking in English and doing exactly as you described. Ahahahahahha!

I grew up in myCountry but I emigrated quite long time ago.
UK is full of different cultures. My ex was from another part of Europe, but still Latin-ish.
I personally never felt comfortable with the "Venice approach"( the one you described). Sometimes those men can be very "alpha" in a bad way, this is why I never felt very attracted to people who show that way of doing. Too many bad experiences,u feel like a toy most part of the time and finding a guy who is interested in You is rare. Their woman is their mum.... They grow up with mothers who make them feel like kings, so why should they spend time approaching a woman who might let them feel like a jerk? I know 40yo men who still ask their mom before making a leap into something.

on the other side, Italian men are also used to women (not then us of course) who play a lot with them, without getting anywhere .. and this feeds their way of approaching you like this.

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