My Polish girlfriend is pregnant by cheating on me and wants this baby without my permission. Please help.

One issue is that he wasn't careful - contraception is easily available. But yes, if there's doubt, a DNA test is essential.


Not in most of Europe, however if the young lady in question is from a very traditional background, she will need a lot of support to overcome any baggage she may carry about it.

I find your attitude to abortion a bit....dismissive of women's feelings.

Bear in mind it was women who in every case have pushed for acceptance of this.

that does not give you the right to make patronising and belittling comments does it?

Ok, I read your comments and I should say shame on most of you ! you stupid guys, are talking without any information. So,please do not comment here and if you know the answer, help me. I keep some links, regarded to abortion law, which proves that abortion is legal in many countries and in Europe, the only country that abortion is forbidden is Poland unfortunately:

worldabortionlaws.com/map/

Most countries in the European Union allow abortion on demand during the first trimester (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_law)

womenonwaves.org/en/page/460/abortion-laws-worldwide

So, instead of blaming me, dont spam this post with your extremely emotional comments. And for the guy, who told me, polish women are fat and ugly, you shame on yourself.

As I told once, I am not worried about the money I must pay for taking care of that baby. He pushed me to not use condom and she told me I will eat pills, while she didnt. I am worried about the baby's future. She wont have a happy life, because at least one side, is not happy with his/her birth and didn't have any plan for growing his/her life.

And for the guy who said , who am I, to gave her permission to that woman, she had a plan to get pregnant, without me knowing this ! I think Its my right to know that she is not going to eat the pills! additionally, which one is more brutal? abort and unexpected/unwanted two months baby or giving an unhappy life to a person?

Almost just one person answered my questions and the rest was offensive words and non-related conversation.


how do you know? are you a doctor? Please prove your words, give me a reference.
and for the second part of your comment, please stop stupid and useless conversation. thank you man !

Please , I know my English is not good, but yours is worst! I didnt say, she must have my permission to have a baby !! i said she should have informed to, if she had wanted the baby, not by cheating and not eating pills. And second of all, I think women in Poland, are not free as the women in rest of the Europe. If you see the link below, you will see the only country that abortion is forbidden is Poland unfortunately:

worldabortionlaws.com/map

But i would really appreciate it if you stop non-related conversation and if you have some opinions about my personality, freedom in poland and blah blah ... keep those comments for yourself. thank you


i was careful. but she told me, I will eat those pills and she didnt't !! because she had wanted a baby and she was worried about her age and not be able to have a baby in the future !

That's entrapment. Sadly very little you can do. It was an issue of broken trust, which means you should absolutely insist on a DNA test in case there are other lies. Remember though, this may well all turn out for the best.


None of those, except perhaps in your understanding of the thread.

@mhmh2: abortion is not allowed everywhere in Europe (for instance Ireland and Malta don't have it) but generally in Western Europe, even in traditonally catholic countries such as Spain and in Portgual, it is legal but please understand that it shall cost a fortune since you don't probably have insurance in those countries. Abortion is free of charge when women are insured in those countries. To avoid paying too much, you can consider (but of course an abortion is not like getting a hair cut, it must be thoroughly discussed and thought over), there are a lot of private clinics in the Czech Repbublic near the border with Poland, they are used to deal with Polish women and it does not cost as much as it does cost in Western Europe.

Like said, abortion is a very difficult situation and a big trauma for the woman, so please think it over!

Of course I'm not a doctor! you don't need to be a doctor to know such basic things about woman's pregnency. I've heard that Turkey is a bit backwards but didn't expect it to be so bad.

" None of those, except perhaps in your understanding "

you see jon I rest my case

No case to make - this is an area in which there are very different points of view. Some may get upset by the very thought of flushing a few cells out, others take a more pragmatic approach.

my case was that you are being patronising and belittling.
It is NOT 'flushing a few cells out' it is a painful surgical procedure

You're obviously entitled to your opinion; others do not all share that.

And meanwhile, demand for this harmless procedure increases.

Jon - it is not a 'harmless procedure' .
Stop sweeping away other people's opinions - have you had an abortion? Wil you ever need one?
No obviously not. IN fact I do not even think that you as a man are entitled to an opinion on whether this is 'harmless' or not.

What is it about you liberals that has you dismissing anyone who doesnt agree with you?

Reality. This beneficial procedure is a much cherished right that people had to fight for.

oh do be quiet - you havent got a clue.
not a 'beneficial' procedure for the baby is it? or for the mother's mental health.
As it happens I agree that it should be available but think that people who will never have to go through it, should shut up sometimes.

The whole point being that it isn't a baby - not everyone wants to have one. Others do, and this is the dilemma faced by the OP.

Having said that, I do believe you have a valid point of view - anything to do with starting or not having a family is emotionally heavy.

Worth mentioning that in Poland there's a huge demand for babies (as opposed to non-sentient clusters of cells) for adoption. The ban on fertility treatment (by people who pretendent an embryo is a baby) has exacerbated that.

There is nothing wrong with the abortion procedure. As others have said it isn't even a baby under 3 months, it's a cluster of cells, these cells do not feel pain.

We don't need another discussion about abortion, there is/are different thread about this, for example here.

A very good point. I can't see this child having much of a start in life. A mother who conned a man into impregnating her and a father who doesn't really want the child, doesn't bode well; adoption could be an ideal compromise and give the poor child a chance of a loving home.

" I keep some links, regarded to abortion law, which proves that abortion is legal in many countries and in Europe"

Yes. Abortion is legal in many European countries.

BUT IN NO COUNTRY IN EUROPE YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DEMAND YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO ABORT.

This is not Turkey. You ARE NOT the owner of your girlfriend. She is the ONLY ONE that can decide to continue or not to continue her pregnancy.

And by the way, if you say that the kid is not yours, why you are so concerned about abortion?

I am starting to think that you know that this is your kid and you just dont want to pay for your mistake. But i am happy to say that you have no choice. Or you pay, or you go to jail or you escape back to turkey and never return back to Europe again.

why you are so stupid and at the same time are so lazy? you didnt write my comments. no one talks about ownership! please stay calm. Actually yesterday she told me that I didnt eat pills !!!!! and it was her mistake, so dont say stupid things when you dont know anything. thank you

Think who has pregnent woman that doesn't want to have anything to do with before you call someone stupid.


He didn't, you wrote your comments yourself.