The BEST Guide to POLAND
Unanswered  |  Archives 
 
 
User: Guest

Home / Love  % width posts: 54

POLISH GIRL I REALLY LIKE, BUT she says we have no future


SV999 2 | 4
28 May 2010  #1
Hello, i have met a polish girl that i have been speaking to on the internet fora few months. We met in Poland & spent 2 happy days together.

She says she really likes me but did not instantly feel in love with me so thinks that we have no future.
I really like her & find that immediate love very rarely happens.
Is this a normal reaction?
Help please, because i really like her
Thanks
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649
28 May 2010  #2
Sounds like she doesn't love you, so what can you do about it? If a woman doesn't love you, she doesn't love you and that's that. You might want to find another woman who does.
shush 1 | 212
28 May 2010  #3
If a woman doesn't love you, she doesn't love you and that's that

Painful but true. Get over her, you will only get deeper with feelings and she wont feel anything. Finish now when it's still relatively easy.
Miguel Colombia - | 351
28 May 2010  #4
She says she really likes me but did not instantly feel in love with me so thinks that we have no future.

You are contradicting yourself, young man. Immediate love doesn't happen. What DOES happen is infatuation at first sight, which is more a process involving hormones and romantic expectations. Now, couples that are based on such principles tend to fail after some time.

I would suggest to stay with her and see how it develops. I think you're on the good way.
OP SV999 2 | 4
28 May 2010  #5
i agree that instant infatuation is possible. We both really enjoyed the tome we spent together & we have spoken every day since on phone but she tells me she is very lost with her feelings & needs time.

I completely agree that instant infatuation does not last. But now i do not know what to do.
Should i cut contact & wait to see if she contacts me after she has had the time?
Any polish girls, i would appreciate your thoughts please
Miguel Colombia - | 351
28 May 2010  #6
We both really enjoyed the tome we spent together & we have spoken every day since on phone but she tells me she is very lost with her feelings & needs time.

I am sure you enjoyed "it".

It's natural she is confused; you have to take into account that you're living a long distance relationship and that is not easy. IT requires lots of trust and the use of tricks to keep the flame alive.
OP SV999 2 | 4
28 May 2010  #7
yes, all we did was laugh so much together. She says she trusts me which has built up over the months of speaking on internet & on phone. She says what is making her confused is that she did not feel instant love, like she did with her previous partner. should i just give her the time
Miguel Colombia - | 351
28 May 2010  #8
she did not feel instant love, like she did with her previous partner. should i just give her the time

One big problem in human relationships is expecting too much. Both of you expected too much from your time together and by thinking of what didn't happen, you ruin the feelings caused by things that DID happen.

Another thing is the definition of love for the two of you. She may have a very idealized perception of love ,while you ,as a man,tend to be more realistic and less romantic than she is.

Stay with her and don't worry about that. Good things need patience.
wildrover 98 | 4,452
28 May 2010  #9
Love grows...infatuation dies.....time will soon tell what you have...
Morad83 1 | 19
28 May 2010  #10
Keep contact if you do it will show her how much you care and are interested in her and after a while she should open up to you :)
TransAtlantyk - | 19
28 May 2010  #11
I was involved in a long-distance relationship of a similar nature for years.

I will offer a few pieces of advice culled from the cold steel of experience: you are embarking on a long, painful, often heart-breaking journey. I know you are now in the throes of new love, but that will turn to old love soon enough - new love can make you do some very stupid, very rash things.

What I am saying is this: give careful consideration about what you are getting involved in and the often head-spinning paper work involved in international relationships if you take it to the next level. I also want you to take into consideration your families. It is a simple fact of physics that you cannot be in two places at once, this means that one of you will always be a great distance from your family - this may not seem like much now, but after years, believe me, it will take its toll on you. If you are not rich and frequent flights home are simply out of the question, depression begins to creep in.

Even if you can conquer this polka and her heart - it doesn't end there. That is just the first step. Don't get in over your head.

From one romantic to another, I wish you the best of luck.
pgtx 29 | 3,159
28 May 2010  #12
advice culled from the cold steel of experience: you are embarking on a long, painful, often heart-breaking journey.

wow!

What I am saying is this:

i appreciate the translation...
wildrover 98 | 4,452
28 May 2010  #13
and the often head-spinning paper work involved in international relationships if you take it to the next level.

Tell me about it....I am an Englishman living in Poland , in love with a Russian in Moscow..!
king polkakamon - | 544
28 May 2010  #14
I am an Englishman living in Poland , in love with a Russian in Moscow..!

I have started to believe that you English have sth shrewd in head it is not everything square.
wildrover 98 | 4,452
28 May 2010  #15
you English have sth shrewd in head it is not everything square.

Noo thats the Germans with the square heads....
CheFinny 5 | 45
29 May 2010  #16
grow up you sigh. You only live once, get her bucked.
poland_
29 May 2010  #17
Hello, i have met a polish girl that i have been speaking to on the internet fora few months. We met in Poland & spent 2 happy days together.

What country are you from and what language did you communicate in?
OP SV999 2 | 4
29 May 2010  #18
i am from uk but she spoke good english & communication was not a problem
Trevek 26 | 1,702
29 May 2010  #19
I will offer a few pieces of advice culled from the cold steel of experience: you are embarking on a long, painful, often heart-breaking journey. I know you are now in the throes of new love, but that will turn to old love soon enough - new love can make you do some very stupid, very rash things.

I agree. I had an experience of a girl telling me again and again she wasn't sure. I persevered and she began to come round (I thought), only to continually blow hot and cold, announcing I was dumped a few weeks before I was due to arrive in Poland, then ringing me a couple of days later to say she was wrong (actually, it turned out the guy she'd dumped me for wasn't interested) and then dumping me at the airport when I arrived.

I still stayed with her at her flat for a few days. A month later she was back again and I was stupid enough to go for it (love really does screw with your judgement). Then she later decided we were "not going to be lovers"... probably because she'd been getting it pretty regularly from someone else for the month or two I was in UK. (She's now married to him with a couple of kids).

Seems she was only interested when there was nobody else to pay her attention.

Now, of course, this girl might not be like that at all... BUT if she is saying this then maybe she's been burned before or simply doesn't believe it'll work. She might also get repeatedly cold feet and you are left bitter and frustrated.
OP SV999 2 | 4
29 May 2010  #20
Well, it is very difficult........we got to know each other well before we met but she said when we met she would know "instantly" if she could fall in love with me. I believe that this instant love is not love at all & rarely lasts. She recently split from a very long term partner & says she is lost. She tells me she really really likes me but does not think this is enough. I think loves grows from within over time & it is more important to really like the person & enjoy spending time with them when you first meet, which we both did. I know i am not in love yet but also know that i have never felt like this about anyone before & she tells me the same. Very difficult to know what to do next!
wildrover 98 | 4,452
31 May 2010  #21
the instant thing is chemistry , physical attraction...nothing to do with love....

Like you i had a great internet romance going on for six months before the time came to meet this lady for the first time...I was lucky , the love that developed slowly over the months turned into physical attraction too , and we are now planing to get married at some point...

My lady is Russian , not Polish , and i think it helps that we are both old and wise enough not to play silly games with each other...

Your lady seems a bit young mentally and still wants to play head games with you....

Keep looking my friend...the right one is out there somewhere....
Sokrates 8 | 3,346
31 May 2010  #22
Go medieval on her with a hatchet that'll teach the b*tch.
wildrover 98 | 4,452
31 May 2010  #23
but where do you put all the bodies...no good asking me...my farm is full of em....
Sokrates 8 | 3,346
31 May 2010  #24
If you can't stash it, eat it!

Should i cut contact & wait to see if she contacts me after she has had the time?

I'm a Polish guy not a Polish girl like you asked for but a good idea might be to loosen the contact a bit, dont be a focking drama queen, dont vanish completely just roll your way and see how she reacts though to be honest it seems pretty straightforward you're just not her type that'll happen ocasionally.
polishcanuck 7 | 462
31 May 2010  #25
Foreigners falling in love with polish women in Poland: you guys sound like you've never been intimate with a woman before.
These kind of threads and both funny and sad.
Nieznajomy - | 11
31 May 2010  #26
It's something that seems to be endemic to young expat types. I'd see this sort of thing in Japan time and time again. Nothing changes, only the location.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
31 May 2010  #27
Good point!! I saw the same and it takes a certain type. PodrywajÄ… w Polsce i Nihon ni wa nampa dayo. They just chase skirt but are not serious about it. I'm surprised some girls even go near them.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
31 May 2010  #28
Foreigners falling in love with polish women in Poland: you guys sound like you've never been intimate with a woman before.

Yeah, we're all so hopeless we have to come to Poland to get a woman!
It's more of the cultural thing. example; the way some guys and girls in UK talk is astonishing to foreigners. Often, when some of my friends have been over in Poland (and I'm talking to them infront of Poles, peoplethink we're about to have a fight! Nothing could be further from the truth. Likewise, social and religious differences can make communication seem more difficult than it needs to be. But we are cautious enough to tread carefully so as not to offend... doesn't always work the other way, tho'.
Miguel Colombia - | 351
31 May 2010  #29
Yeah, we're all so hopeless we have to come to Poland to get a woman!

Why do you deny it. YOu know it's the truth.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
31 May 2010  #30
Do I deny it? I'm a member of a group who married a Polish woman (not the same one)


Home / Love / POLISH GIRL I REALLY LIKE, BUT she says we have no future
BoldItalic [quote]
 
To post as Guest, enter a temporary username or login and post as a member.