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Polish Girl & an Arabic Guy - at first it was hard, but now it's great!


Finka007 2 | 7
14 May 2008 #1
Hi!

I am currently engaged to an Arabic guy (he was born in Kuwait & his background is Palestinian); he came to Canada when he was a kid. So he consider himself more Canadian, who love hockey very much, & the Canadian life-style.

I met him during high school & we started dating (we are together for about 6 years already). He is one of the nicest guy that I've ever met. At first of course; my parents were having a hard time (they wanted me to have a Polish guy) but now they don't mind him anymore =) my babcia love him dearly! he is a sincerely sweet person & is a very laid back person. He get along with everybody very easily & it is hard not to like him =)

I don't understand some people I heard have said that Arabic guys are controlling? they want the girl to be Muslim? kids got to be Muslim...etc. Yes my guy is Muslim but he doesn't really practice (he's very open-minded) in fact we're having a Catholic ceremony in Poland. He even said that its fine if we baptized our children... He does drink socially (I know Muslim shouldn't drink alcohol but he doesn't mind drinking beers with my father =P & eating our some of Pork food (he said b/c it is our cultural food that he respects it =) it made my babcia very happy to know he love our food LOL) I don't think many men from outside religion/culture would be this willing to do that. I am not that religious too (just follow my practice & I try to have an open-mind). Yes he been to Poland to visit my family & my family love him =) he was soo sweet with them, tried his best to speak Polish with them...I couldn't believe how much effort he really tried.

Yes I am going to admit that I can be a stubborn person who likes her way =P & he doesn't mind it! =) He actually try his best to do things my way LOL...soo Arabic/Polish relationship aren't common out there?? do you know anyone who is in one???
rbehloul - | 7
15 May 2008 #2
in evrywhere thre's bad guys and nice guys some guys seem to be bad the first
we need more time to know them because of the difference of culture and coutry
and habits
Wulkan - | 3,251
15 May 2008 #3
I don't understand some people I heard have said that Arabic guys are controlling? they want the girl to be Muslim? kids got to be Muslim...etc. Yes my guy is Muslim but he doesn't really practice

u have an anwer, he doesn't practice so lucky u...
rbehloul - | 7
16 May 2008 #4
he shoud practice ,I dont know why he didn't practice
a musulman man is allowed only to marry a christian woman or a jewish woman
because they have the holy books,for the children must be musulman and it's a responsabilité fror their father to teach them islam.

but a musulman woman is allowed only to marry a musulman man
OP Finka007 2 | 7
16 May 2008 #5
He told me he doesn't like some things in his religion & he want to have an open mind. For instance he told me he's not fond of women wearing 'hijab' (he grew up in a really liberal home) I met his family; very laid back people. I didn't feel odd =)) they were very easy to get along. His mom & most of female relatives doesn't wear a 'hijab'. Most people that met him for the first time (they would ask him what is his background? Italian? European mixed?) he's pretty pale, hazel eyes, 6'3 (tall for an Arab), no hair on his chest at all...most Arabs (men) that I met are average height or short, got hair on chest or lots on their arms. I met some of his relatives (some of his cousins are blonde, blue eyes, or red hair) he told me Palestinian people can look different. Some I thought looked Polish too =P pretty interesting family he has =)

About the children? he told me he doesn't want to force his children into a religion; he want them to choose for themselves. He want them to have an open mind too; but to believe in God. He is fine with baptizing them. He want a liberal up bringing family; with a worldy view. So I guess I am pretty lucky =))
rbehloul - | 7
16 May 2008 #6
no it's wrong what he is thinking,he must teach them islam ,because if he is musulman
and beleives at god he is afraid that he goes to hell and wants to go to paradise
he hopes this for his children because the children are the most expensive thing we possess, and every father hopes to their children to be better than him

about the hidjab is madatory for musulman woman to cover his body and not to
exite other man when she goes outside home ,she shows her beauty only for her husband, and the musulman man also never have a look to for foreign woman with passion because fornacation is forbiden in islam, and often it bigins by looking to a woman than to tell her HI the next day he invite her for dinner and the last time inviet her to his bed.

i advise you to have a look on the translated coran you will know the the truth
Zonk - | 15
16 May 2008 #7
Difference is, your guys been westernised....most people have a problem with guys coming from arabic countrys looking for girls because of their mindset.
rbehloul - | 7
16 May 2008 #8
but not all arabic people are musulman there some who tell you yes I'm musulman
but never practice they can do whatever they like: looking for girls drinking alkohool etc...
Krzysztof 2 | 973
16 May 2008 #9
but never practice they can do whatever they like: looking for girls drinking alkohool etc...

believe that's what most of them do when they are abroad, I met several Muslim guys from Arabic country during my university studies, and they didn't have a problem with drinking alcohol, going to discotheques and other things. They may be shy at the beginning, they behave like they were taught at home, but when they realize most of their fellow Muslim students (who have been abroad for a longer time) are doing these forbidden things, they start to.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893
16 May 2008 #10
rbehloul

no it's wrong what he is thinking,he must teach them islam ,because if he is musulman
and beleives at god he is afraid that he goes to hell and wants to go to paradise

Looks like, she found a lovely man who cares more about whats on earth than whats awaiting him in heaven...because let's be honest, nobody actually knows whats awaiting us in the after life.

about the hidjab is madatory for musulman woman to cover his body and not to
exite other man when she goes outside home

Hmm, not manatory, after all it doesn't actually state in the Koran that a woman MUST wear it.

she shows her beauty only for her husband, and the musulman man also never have a look to for foreign woman with passion because fornacation is forbiden in islam, and often it bigins by looking to a woman than to tell her HI the next day he invite her for dinner and the last time inviet her to his bed

Now it would seem that you are describing what you do when you walk down the street. or maybe describing what you'd like to do but no western woman will touch you because you smell of camels and curry!

i advise you to have a look on the translated coran you will know the the truth

ROLF!
OP Finka007 2 | 7
16 May 2008 #11
i advise you to have a look on the translated coran you will know the the truth

ahh, now I understand...here's a Muslim man that would control his gal & is a pretty hard headed ;) I see what others are saying...

The 'hijab' is NOT mandatory! what are you talking about?? Yes I have already read the Koran (I had to) I took the World's Religion at my University. My prof who visited some of these countries for instance Saudia Arabia (these women are forced to wear the 'hijab' because that their rule). That is pretty sad because Prof said 'hijab' isn't mandatory but a cultural thing...most women are forced to wear it (however some women chosed to wear; their decision).

My guy's mother told me that her family & her are not fond of Saudi Arabia or Pakistan. She said these countries make Muslims look bad & it is not the religion that is making things bad is the up-bringing culture place they were brought up making them look bad :P

I guess you were brought up by a family believing that women have to wear it. So in the end a 'hijab' should be a women's decision but not to be forced upon. Isn't Koran teaches you that both men/women are to be treated 'equal'? you should know that better IF you read the Koran ;) seems like in your view that women aren't treated any equally like men. That doesn't seem like Koran would teach you this. Only your up-bringing culture would do that. I've met enough people who were like my guy or were like you that my guy doesn't want to know them.
rbehloul - | 7
17 May 2008 #12
christian woman (sisters) in the church are always covering teir head
and never their wearing apparel is exiting
this sis some text from quran:
[33:59] O prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the wives of the believers that they shall lengthen their garments. Thus, they will be recognized (as righteous women) and avoid being insulted. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful

24:31] And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed
OP Finka007 2 | 7
17 May 2008 #13
christian woman (sisters) in the church are always covering teir head
and never their wearing apparel is exiting

These women chooses/voluntarily to become nuns. It is their "choice"

[33:59] O prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the wives of the believers that they shall lengthen their garments. Thus, they will be recognized (as righteous women) and avoid being insulted. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful

Where does it say that you need to cover head to toe?? need to cover their faces? or head?? seriously are you joking me (please read it carefully!) :P

Of course; don't go naked in public! lol Yes respect your body; cover your personal areas...does that include head? face? hair? seriously? where does it say? lol

Whether you like it or not...but I am sorry to disappoint you big time but "Hijab" is NOT MANDATORY! :) please again READ CAREFULLY! and point to me where does it say cover head to toe? where does it say hijab is mandatory??
rbehloul - | 7
18 May 2008 #14
to finka
HI
when my god says this in coran :
they shall lengthen their garments
They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary
it's not necessary to tell you that you cover from head to toe
wht a hidjab means?
it means only to cover the hair but not necessary the face,and a long dress to heel
thre's many kind of hidjab ; also it shouldn't be tighten to appear the parts of body
and there are religion erudites who explain very well : Wear hidjab is necessary for musulman woman reffering to coran and prophet saying
for more informations you can also ask in channel iqraa or for others saoudien chanels in english they sure will reply you and convince you well
argumentive36 - | 12
18 May 2008 #15
I am a Muslim Arabic man. The word 7ijab does NOT mean at all something to cover the hair or the face or that women should wear it. The word simply means barrier, simply something that comes between two things. There is NOT a single verse in the Quran that refers to 7ijab as a dress code, none at all. The word 7ijab is mentionned in the Quran in several places but none to mean a dress code.

There are 2 verses as far as I know that refer to clothes, which extremely conseravtice scholars like to mislead us to beleive it is the so called '7ijab'. One of them is talking to the Muslim women at the time of the prophet. The reason for that verse was thet the Muslim woman in those days had to go outside the house at night and they used to get abused so the verse came about to warn them. There is another verse but it does NOT mention at all the nonsense that a woman should cover her hair, or that if she shows her face it means a guy will get excited just because he saw a woman show her hair!

About the 'a7adeeths' I am not a Sunni anymore. I gave up Sunnism because they are inaccurate.

No to the Muslim bashers,
NO I am not controlling and obsessive and really have no interest at all in marying a woman show is stupid enough to be a slave to me. This is just a myth.
OP Finka007 2 | 7
18 May 2008 #16
Thank you for the reply =) I don't think this guy (rbehloul) will listen to you =P he's pretty hardcored about his own view - the way he was brought up lol but yeah you're right on the track here =)
argumentive36 - | 12
18 May 2008 #17
Nevermind, am even more hardcore even though in a different direction :-)

Congratulations to you and your Fiancee, hope all the best for you :-)
snoke31 - | 12
18 May 2008 #18
for rbehloul
can you explain what means this in quran

Qur’an:9:5 “Fight and kill the disbelievers wherever you find them, take them captive, harass them, lie in wait and ambush them using every stratagem of war.”

Qur’an:9:112 “The Believers fight in Allah’s Cause, they slay and are slain, kill and are killed.”
Qur’an:9:29 “Fight those who do not believe until they all surrender, paying the protective tax in submission.”
Ishaq:325 “Muslims, fight in Allah’s Cause. Stand firm and you will prosper. Help the Prophet, obey him, give him your allegiance, and your religion will be victorious.”

Qur’an:8:39 “Fight them until all opposition ends and all submit to Allah.”
Qur’an:8:39 “So fight them until there is no more Fitnah (disbelief [non-Muslims]) and all submit to the religion of Allah alone (in the whole world).”

Qur’an:9:38 “Believers, what is the matter with you, that when you are asked to go forth and fight in Allah’s Cause you cling to the earth? Do you prefer the life of this world to the Hereafter? Unless you go forth, He will afflict and punish you with a painful doom, and put others in your place.”

Qur’an:9:123 “Fight the unbelievers around you, and let them find harshness in you.”

do you think people can live in peace by this?
Foreigner4 12 | 1,769
18 May 2008 #19
I don't understand some people I heard have said that Arabic guys are controlling?

So he consider himself more Canadian

Yes my guy is Muslim but he doesn't really practice (he's very open-minded) in fact we're having a Catholic ceremony in Poland.

Well i guess you figured out what makes your guy seem different. Congratulations and I wish you two a long and happy future.

argumentive36

chances are you're also either well educated or just plain smart:)
snoke31 - | 12
18 May 2008 #20
i hope he will not change after married, or be practice,,, so take care thats all
argumentive36 - | 12
21 May 2008 #21
chances are you're also either well educated or just plain smart:)

Ofcourse I am smart and eductaed LOL

Regardless if a an Arabic or a Muslim guy is smart or dumb saying that they atre controlling is a myth. I know many Arabic women that control their Arabic husbands, many are struggling financially to keep up with their wives that want the best house, clothes, car...etc. Or guys who have to put up with thier in laws, or some who are lucky to manage to go out with friends even once a week.
plk123 8 | 4,150
21 May 2008 #22
Hmm, not manatory, after all it doesn't actually state in the Koran that a woman MUST wear it.

and they aren't mandatory in all the muslim countries. Iraq used to be very moderna bout this but not anymore.

and finka, if you would happen to move to Kuwait you may find out othewise about your habib.
argumentive36 - | 12
21 May 2008 #23
Smoke31,
Sorry but I have to reply to your post even though it is not directed towards me. When reading any book it is not enough to quote ONE sentence or verse only. Imagine if I quoted from the bible the part that says ‘I am not here to bring peace’, that would be misleading. I don’t have the time to go through each verse you quoted. But will discuss this one verse only below that you quoted:

Qur’an:9:5 “Fight and kill the disbelievers wherever you find them, take them captive, harass them, lie in wait and ambush them using every stratagem of war.”

The verse above is ONE verse of others which you didn’t bother to quote. The verses talks about treaties with non believers. It says you can only attack them only if they turned against the Muslims. So it is an act of defence.

Except those of the idolaters with whom you made an agreement, then they have not failed you in anything and have not backed up any one against you, so fulfill their agreement to the end of their term; surely Allah loves those who are careful (of their duty). But when the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the Pagans wherever ye find them, an seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war); but if they repent, and establish regular prayers and practise regular charity, then open the way for them: for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

And the verse that comes after above clearly says that disbelievers are not to be harmed at all and should be protected if they asked for it, here read it:

And if anyone of the idolaters seeketh thy protection (O Muhammad), then protect him so that he may hear the Word of Allah, and afterward convey him to his place of safety. That is because they are a folk who know not.
southern 75 | 7,096
21 May 2008 #24
at first it was hard, but now it's great!

Yes,if you can enjoy the women in his harem as well of course it is great.And the ottoman style is at first hard to endure but then becomes great.
King Sobieski 2 | 716
21 May 2008 #25
Smoke31,
Sorry but I have to reply to your post even though it is not directed towards me. When reading any book it is not enough to quote ONE sentence or verse only. Imagine if I quoted from the bible the part that says ‘I am not here to bring peace’, that would be misleading. I don’t have the time to go through each verse you quoted. But will discuss this one verse only below that you quoted:

argu, does this also not mean that the radical muslims can interpret these lines also for their own means as much as us westerners may misinterpret them?
plk123 8 | 4,150
21 May 2008 #26
or as much spin there is with the bible story book.
Lilu 3 | 32
22 May 2008 #27
Listen honey you are going to get extremely frustrated with some of the replies you will get that are negative bc people are negative about it. All that matters is what you feel for him and his feelins for you bc you are the one who will be sharing forever with him. So ignore the ding bats that knock the notion of a muslim and polish relationship . And yes it does work so ignore them and be happy .
plk123 8 | 4,150
22 May 2008 #28
maybe negative but it's the truth so please be aware.
argumentive36 - | 12
22 May 2008 #29
argu, does this also not mean that the radical muslims can interpret these lines also for their own means as much as us westerners may misinterpret them

Yes sure you are right. However the extremists who misinterpret it are extremely small in number, there are about 1.5 Billion Muslims living in maybe over 20 countries, the vast majority are not violent. Also any book, idea, thought, religion can be misininterpreted by radiclas or extremists.
King Sobieski 2 | 716
22 May 2008 #30
i concur, that is why i differentiated between radical muslims and ordinary muslims.


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