Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her

yeah, speaking words of wisdom, let it be, I love this song :-)

Think it is..............although I've just changed my mind it is not at all!

On the serious note... Can men/women be trusted? Can another human being be fully trusted.... It always seemed to me that we have the ability to act on impulse and sometimes without much thinking we amaze ourselves with what we are capable of.....

Men seldom act on impulse.They are more strategic developers.

One small step for man, one giant leap for kind man.

(do you see what I've done there; mankind/ kind man, I like that! lol.)

This is a momentus day for me, I've finally done it, I spoke to the girl. I am just so proud of myself, really, really pleased that I've went and gone and done it. I will try to outline what happened: In work today I held the door open for her, she smiled and said hi, I said hi back and their was an aukward pause where I probably had an opportunity to go ahead with my plan, but I had just finished eating a bag of crisps, my mouth was full, it really wasn't the ideal time. lol.

Anyway, about an hour later, I just happened to come round the corner and she was there, having a chat with another Polish girl who works in the office (I couldn't have planned this opportunity better myself) and she said dzien dobry to me, she had obviously remembered that I had spoken to her before. It was very relaxed, it helped that there was also someone there and we had a good chat for several minutes. Then the other girl left and the two of us walked down the corridor together. I know I could have avoided saying anything but I went ahead and I asked her if this other guy in the office was her boyfriend. This amused her alot and she said that she has a boyfriend of six years and they both are over here working and hope to stay for a couple of years.

So, there you go.
A weight has definately been lifted off my shoulders. You know, I totally surprised myself at the manner in which I conducted myself. I just know I came across as really great, a super, friendly person. I didn't think I had it in me. I am just so very proud of myself, I admit, I have shed some tears of happiness. Some may think this strange as this girl isn't going to be mine but I have achieved something that for a long time I thought was beyond me, it is a massive step and has given me such a boost that I can find happiness. I have found closure on this issue, I can now move on knowing I have done the right thing and behaved in such a gentlemanly way. I feel like a proper man today.

So in conclusion to this long tale, I 'fell in love with a Polish girl, found it difficult to approach her....eventually plucked up the courage to do it and have become a better person as a result.' The End.

Well done. Congratulations on finding yourself.

Good on ya Ken. Who knows... maybe she has a Polish friend as nice as she is. :-)

Ken, I couldnt be prouder :))))))))

it is one step forward for one kind man :))))

you Accepted her answer, and that was the important thing, you are amazing
and see , you now know that you can.. :))))

Keep that outward charm coming, The next girl that catches your eye, she might
just be the one :)))) lol

(standing ovation for Ken) Yeahyaaaaa!!!

This is difficult case for you.Difficult to destroy her boyfriend.However you could ask for her number just in case...

southern. hes content, it was more then actually dating her, which is what he accomplished, hes on a road to a better place..

But it's not the end, it's not even the beginning of the end, it is just the end of the beginning.

Lol, I've always wanted to use that quote, and it's pretty apt on this occasion.
Anyone know where it is from?

Churchill

He was selling the Londoners car insurance. Clever swine. He obviously knew about the impending congestion charges

Lol, Ah yeas.

That's a good one Hueg.

He asked a pathetic question if her boss was her boyfriend.Very wrong.Never ask about a boyfriend on the first place.I mean Ken you are the one who chatted with her,what did her boyfriend have to do?Next time do not mention any boyfriend again.It is simple.Now she sees Ken in front of her,not anyone else.

southern, right now you make no sense , so what if he asked her if that boss was
her boyfriend they all work kinda close together things do happen like that.
he happened to see them chatting together, he came strait out with what he wanted
to know. if she was single, then he could have went further with it. the whole point
is to bring out the man from the shell. this is what he personally wanted, he feels
better, now he can approach without fear. dont you get it??

it doesnt matter because your so self -soaked in your own little pathetic world
the intelligent man you portray no one wants to listen to because of this.

His Question was done respectfully, if you dont ask you dont get a answer
so he went about it properly, and she talked calmly with him, I see nothing wrong
with it, I dont think ken needs so much advice as you do on how to treat women!!

You don't get it.He should not feel better.He should feel worse because he lost a chance.
He feels better because now he can excuse himself.He thinks it was O.K. I had not asked her so long because in any case she had a boyfriend.Now I am relieved.

In his position I would think.What a stupid man I am.I hesitated so long only to discover she has a boyfriend.I lost so much time,so many thoughts without a reason.And now I am again in the beginning.

You lose and win,you cannot always win.
If you mention boyfriend,she already thinks,oh my boyfriend,how did I forget him,and will tell she has a boyfriend even if she has none.And if she tells that,it is difficult then to find out if it is true or not.

That was what I tried to tell him,not to mention boyfriend,not to trigger a negative reaction from her side.From men's side it is war,you do not see that because you are a woman and see only the results.

This is my small,personal opinion.

she has a boyfriend of 6 years they went to the uk to work.. what more do you need?
do you think all women lie? if she lied why would he want her anyway then???

if she stumbled on her words when he was talking to her then i would say yeah
she isnt interested. she was willing to make small talk and the conversation went
smoothly. I even have as much trust in ken that he would have been able to sense
that, but the main objective was approach. he didnt know which way it was going to
go and it was more of the fear of the approach then the getting the girl..

my personal opinion you only know call women, so therefore this makes you no
expert on us real down to earth women who dont hang with the playa's who
risk disease and like to think they are the man, but deep down have some issues
they need to deal with.

ken doesnt want to be a sugar daddy, or playa, he wants something real and the
advice your giving him will only send him further into a worse situation..
he has ability to open up and doesnt flaunt how many, or how often or how he
does it.. I am sure that if ken thought he was going the wrong way he would
be asking more advice from you, but the way your sounding is like he should have
just forced himself in there and that wouldnt win someone's heart, it would annoy
them.

not to mention this is the work place, he has to present himself with dignity and
respect towards her, sexual harrassment could have happened if your advice was
followed. I dont think ken would appreciate that..

Yes i get it more so then you, I wouldnt doubt the skeletons in your closet southern
because you obviously are hiding..

two thumbs up for ken, he did wonderful and accomplished something today..

two thumbs down to you southern, for being so cold and selfish.. again self-centered
and only thinking of one thing, thats the impression you give ..

I would bet there is more that agree with that..even some of the guys have
voiced their opinions and I hardly think they are jealous so dont even go that
route!!

Very good insights,but there is one problem.They work for women.
Not useful for Ken.

give me examples and proof.. :)

today ken was proof enough , i just dont think we are on same page.. me and you.
your talking a whole differnt thing then what I am, thus, a very good example of
" out in left field" LOL..

gotcha!

You doubt that women like the bad guys?

some do, and some dont.. and those that do always say, what was I thinking???

lol gotcha again...

Congratulations Ken, you did what you had to do, well done.
Next time you have this conversation a bit quicker and thus not suffer so much anxiety for so long. Very good first step.
It is of course theoretically possible that a very experienced Romeo could take this girl away from her boyfriend. In that sense Southern is right. The chances would however always be small.

However the above move would be completely beyond Ken’s experience at this stage, and therefore has to be considered impossible. Ken did what he dad to do, great first step.

Just out of curiosity’s sake the experienced Romeo would not ask about the boyfriend. He would engage the girl in some interesting conversation and invite the girl to do something, initially quite innocent. Then he would slowly press on using his charms, smiles, hands, etc. etc. Lots of animal communication at the most basic level. Then he would attempt to kiss her and then sleep with her almost as a one off.

When this was accomplished he would attempt to continue to sleep with her which would at some point force the girl to have to decide which man to keep and which to ditch…

The trick here would be to keep it very light. The odds are the girl would let slip the truth, to her boyfriend who would loose his temper. That would make him look oppressive and over-controlling in her eyes and thus give our Romeo an edge…

Does all of this sound extremely manipulative and Machiavellian? Well it is!

Then and in the interests of fiction writers, of course, if the above play failed (very good chance of failure) , there is always a second bite of the cherry using the atomic device – Jealousy! He could then as a totally desperate measure, chat up someone else that know the target girl and start showing up with her. The girl might then re consider just out of pure jealousy…

All extremely desperate and undignified! But has been know to produce positive results out of the jaws of defeat!

[quote=Lobo] Does all of this sound extremely manipulative and Machiavellian? Well it is! and it goes on, and on a daily basis. Sorry girls about spoiling a bit of the romance of your chance encounters with the perfect men…

You hyperanalyze.Point is when she says I have a boyfriend she may mean
1.I do not like you so I tell you I have a boyfriend to leave me alone
2.I have a boyfriend who I am serious with
3.I like you very much but I am afraid to cheat my boyfriend
4.I like you very much,I do not have a boyfriend but I do not want to proceed very quickly.I want to know you better

5.I like you,I do not have boyfriend but I will test you.I will tell you I have a boyfriend and wait your reaction.Will you be consistent?How will you react?

6.I have a boyfriend but I do not like him very much I prefer you,so it would be possible to go on
7.I would like to have a boyfriend,all girls should have a boyfriend,pity I do not have one but I tell you I have a boyfriend not to think I am easy or not popular

And the list goes on.
So the simple sentence I have a boyfriend if translated from chick's language means a lot more than it implies from first sight.To find out what it means you need some skills,which experienced players have in abudance but we the common mortals lack.

I agree with the above. The solution is still the same. To proceed as above. This will work for all scenarios.

To proceed you need skills.You need to know sarging,eye contact,openers,kino,closes,smooth talking,natural you need abilities.Some people have them from nature,others make only mistakes.

Please define??

Yes, the most important skill is to be able to create an air of extreme confidence, even if it is artificial and even misplaced. In that sense it is no different than what a salesman needs to do when he gives himself / herself a pep talk before an important call. And keep smilling at all time no matter how outrageous the proposition or the objections!

Sarging means spend time to meet girls.It is the whole process,walking in campus,going to clubs etc.
Kino means kinesthetic approach.Basically is touching.You have to know when and where to touch a girl because by touching you transmit powerful messages in emotional level.


Yes generally.But there are a lot more than that.
Peacocking,the art to make yourself distinct within the crowd,to draw attention.
Mirroring to coordinate with girls' moves and body language.
There is a lot of stuff to master.

Yes, wearing a funny hat can have positive results.

This is technique by Mystery.I do not agree.I mean this guy is extreme.He paints his fingers black,wears high heels,peacocking is .K. but this is exacerbation.

This is a basic. But if you try to hard you'll get caught out.

Eye contact is most important.