Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her

Lucas, if she goes out with you, she's the kind of girl who cheats on her boyfriends and she'll do the same thing to you. Some guy will come along, get her number, she'll see him behind your back...do you think she's worth it?

Where does it end? This type of person will never be happy, always on the lookout for something better
It is like blackjack, you got to know when to stick

Well, don’t get ahead of yourself my friend.
In fact there is the distinct possibility that you are the one that will get hurt. Suppose she goes out with you, and even gets involved with you but then decides that she would rather stick to her boyfriend / husband… how will that make you feel… Instead of feeling like the gigolo you feel now you will feel like an idiot.

I have for example just found out my ex polish girlfriend has got back together with her ex lover (a married man that she is in love with). The poor bastard (husband) fell for it so bad, it looks like he is ditching his wife to go out with her. The reason being the “affair” she had with me. So unknowingly when I separated them, a bit by force, to go out with the girl, what I actually did was to make her former married lover hit the roof and re-arrange his life so that he could get his young lover back… is this good or what? Better than an Italian comedy! How do you think I felt?

So the moral lesson is “it ain’t over until…” reality is much more complicated than fiction.

I didn't overrun any stop signs until she told me, and trust me I have been around the game long enough to know them. ;-)

The thing about body language is that it is something we have little conscious control over and in clusters it shows what we desire. Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they stop giving off body language signals either because biology keeps on driving us. Humans are not naturally monogamous creatures, if we were there would be no cheating or relationship breakdowns in the world and things would be a lot simpler.

Personally I always make a move on a girl if I get at least 3 or 4 separate positive body language signals from her and it works well often. Even if I did fail this time it was worth a good shot and that is all that matters.

So I am happy I made the shot and moving on with a smile and some dignity...

So, what do you think the guy (husband) will do after he divorces his wife and splits his happy family to be together with the lover and then she dumps him in a couple of years time...

I think this will be a pistol to the head moment...

So as an old Russian old saying goes: who is the lucky guy, the one that got jilted at the altar or the new husband?

(they think it is the first anyway...)

What are the best days for initial call. weekdays or weekends. I heard according to astrology there are certain days when woman feel the need.

Forget this manbo jambo, what gets you is always the thing you are not expecting...
Just give her a call after 3 days.

When she's ovulating?

Ah, ah! This approach is rather scientific! Yes, yes, I like you line of thought.
Yes Women tend to sleep with strangers when they are ovulating... absolutely proven.

3 days? He would be a history if he would not call me the next day (assuming our 1st date was nice and we liked each other).

Reading always helps. Almost.

It wasn't aimed at you, sorry if I hit a nerve collaterally. :)

I was refering to after getting the number not the first date...

god really guys a woman smiles at you, we,re just being friendly most of the time and yee see it as a come on.

interesting reading though and quite enlightening.

Finally. Good sense has arrived. I knew this thread was missing something. Well, I tried, but I think I was talking to myself. Lust is blind i suppose.

Paul or is it Saul has sent me a postcard from Damascus.

Having a blinding time, write more when I arrive.

Guilty as charged m'lord. I can't help it, I'm doing it again. This past week I felt I had succeeded in putting this girl out of my mind but today that has come crashing down and I am back to square one. She seems such a sweet and innocent girl, her boyfriend is a tool and is only after a trophy girlfriend. I want to be her friend, even if it doesn't lead to a physical relationship, I could honestly accept that. I need her in my life. I want to protect her and to warn her that she is being used.

I don't think I am strong enough mentally to see her everyday and just forget about these feelings I have for her. I need to grasp that nettle and tell her I like her and maybe offer my phone number. I will be hurt I'm sure but it doesn't look like I have the capability to move on until its done.

Ken, I know how you feel, been there a few times. However I am a little worried what will happen to you if you fall for a girl, she responds positively, you get into a relationship and then it fails... it could really hurt Ken... be careful...

Ken,there is also the cold approach.Hi,my name is Ken.What about a f@@@k?
1% of women will respond positively.40% will slap your face.So you will be hurt only physically.

The statistically fail proof way of the true predator, yes, I am impressed Southern!
I did not want to say anything but that is actually the main reason you need the "traffic" I mentioned before.
I concur there is a small percentage that will say yes, or just go with you saying nothing, this is completely correct.

Yes, it has occured to me. I have a habit of putting all my eggs in one basket. Not that I believe in astrology or any of that crap but I have seen my sign described as clingy and moody which is me down to a tee.


Thanks for yet another pearl of wisdom but I don't think I'll try that approach on this occasion. This girl seems so sweet and decent, I just have this feeling she is a wonderful person and I would be happy to be her friend if that was all she was interested in. Sex isn't that high on my agenda, (this may shock many) I've waited a long time for the right person, I can wait a bit longer no problem.

I probably have quite antiquated values which many wouldn't understand in todays climate of (wham bam thank you ma'am) relationships.

I understand perfectly. I'm the same way.

Ken, I understand this as well.
Having a flexible attitude and passing no judgement will however get you further towards your goal of finding the right woman... No need, however, to use the more extreme methods. These are just curiosities...

well guys, I called her the other day and left a brief voice mail. First I thought that leaving a voice Mail is not a good idea but then what the hell. Now what, should I wait for her call. and what u guys think of women first intuition about a person voice mail whom she has not dated yet.

Did she expect the call? How did you know her phone number?

I guess u are little behind with my situation. We had exchanged phone numbers but haven't gone out yet, since she is seeing someone. Couple of days later I called her up and left a voice mail to check up on her.

My aren't we the presumptious one.



Taken from: HeThinksIWantARelationshipButIAlreadyHaveABoyfriend.com

Thank You. I needed that

[quote=Ken Noddy] Sex isn't that high on my agenda, (this may shock many) I've waited a long time for the right person, I can wait a bit longer no problem.

I probably have quite antiquated values which many wouldn't understand in todays climate of (wham bam thank you ma'am) relationships

I think that atitude is very noble Ken,keep it up!

Thanks LC, noble I may be, but noble ain't getting the girl and it won't unless suits of armour come back into fashion!

No, Sir Lancelot here needs to change tack to enable him to rescue the girl from the nasty dragon. Its a work in progress and certain small changes I have made have pleased me and raised my self-esteem a wee bit.


I have been a bit rigid and judgemental in the past, its true.
Lobo, you're like the father I never had, lol. Full of wisdom and advice, a sort of been there, bought the t-shirt thing.

Thanks Ken, but remember that just because I got the T-shirt doen't mean I don't get myself back to square one now and then (you heard my previous story). Now I go back to to the sea and try to push some more fish to my nets. If you are not a bad operator and with a bit of traffic, the right attitude and a bit of practive you should be able to get at least one great woman a year... and I am very very particular (I am a sucker for long legs!)

Good luck with your fishing!

So basically I should be cautious of falling too deeply for this girl and even with experience, things don't always work out. I understand you. Hope you find what you're looking for too.

Personally, I've either been fishing in the Dead Sea or using the wrong kind of bait.

I know this girl likes me, which is a good start. I guess I must have done something right somewhere along the line so I should give myself a pat on the back for that. The next stage is finding out if she likes me because I have been friendly and smiled when we met or whether there is more. As I've mentioned earlier, I'm a winner with either scenario but it would help to know where I stand. It can't be easy for her, living and working in a country with little of the language. I couldn't manage it. I understand how she could fall for this other guy in work, it may not be totally about the money, although its still a possiblity. I detect that she is quite lonely here and he was friendly plus he had the confidence to take it that extra step which I am working towards.