Can't get over "the Polish experience"

After lots of dating in my teens and 20s (in South America and the U.S) and a marriage of almost 9 years (recently divorced with a six year old son who is my life), I can honestly say that I could never get over this Polish girl I once met while going to school here in Atlanta, GA in 1995. We dated for around 3 months and, as weird as it sounds, again, I could just never ever get her out of my head since then.

As far as I'm concerned, we had a great time together 'till the day she left. We kept in touch, talked on the phone, sent pictures and letters to each other for about a month and a half. After that things just started to slow down until she just completely vanished. At first, sometimes when I called I get to talk to her brother who in broken English would tell me that she was either busy or just not home, but, of course we know how that one goes.

After that, about two to three months later we barely spoke, maybe 3 or 4 times, but she was very shallow and cold. I know it took me a while, but after a couple of talks I got the message.

Now, my problem, besides thinking that I was loosing the love of life, wasn't "what she did", but how she did it. I would tell her how and what I was feeling and even ask her if she thought we should just end it, a couple of times, but she would insist that everything was fine and that she was looking forward to come back. She said it would be a while 'till she finished school, but that she wanted us to continue to be together, therefore I didn't want to just give up as I really thought she was the one. However, again, that only lasted so long.

Another thing was that, I would hang out with a couple of her friends (Polish girls), who I met through her, every now and then. They would just call me and I'd come have a beer or dinner with them. I tried to never mention her or talk about her while I was with them as I was feeling like horse poop, but of course her name would pop up in the middle of a conversation and they would ask me questions of what I thought about her going back blah blah blah...

One day in one of those conversations I made a joke about going to Poland (Radom, I think her town was called) to visit. Man, they acted like they had just seen a pink lion come out of a washing machine. They looked at each like "World War III" was about to happen. I just never knew what happened. Maybe she had a boyfriend back home. Maybe, for some reason her parents got in the way or maybe she just didn't feel the same way ( though, I doubt that since the day she left, at the airport, she cried endlessly and promised she'd never forget me). Who knows?

Just wanted to share my experience here and, hopefully get some feedback. I just thought (and still think) she was the greatest girl I'd ever met. However, I was really disappointed at how she handled it. Also, I've read a couple other threads here and couldn't help but to noticed some kind of trend.

Anyway, now I'm 36 ( I was only 22 years back then). I can't really complain about anything in my life, so far, but I can honestly say that in all these years, i was never able to get over what I call "my Polish experience". Or as some friends of mine would like to call it "the alien abduction" lol

Just my 2 cents here.

I think this is pretty common in all countries. Many people have a love from their past they will always remember in a special way.

And many love stories involving people far away from each other end in the same way as yours. Unfortunately.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I don't really understand what happened. I wonder what trend there is? Parents involved? Or maybe she just wanted to keep her options open in case she wannted to go back? Hard to say. what she did was cruel and unnecessary. Everyone should have the guts to confront other people about their feelings.

Did you think of getting in touch with her again? You could look her up in nasza-klasa. Most Poles are there, you could see what she looks like now...

Dude, you need to stop listening to Dashboard confessional and move on.

I know exactly how you feel, i had a girl who moved to Atlanta and there she met this guy, heyyyyy wait a f*cking moment!

What's this? I'm an American, so this is news to me.

hehehe
it's one of the things I haven't tried in my life yet. Was close to that once or twice. But I'm one of those totally annoyingly moral people -the need of clean nice karma always wins.


sorry, for some reason I don't see like five replies when I post mine...

so, nasza klasa is sth like Polish facebook -the difference is they made it like a place where you can meet your old schoolmates, hence "Nasza Klasa" -"Our Class".

The hardest part back then was not knowing what'd ever happened.
I remember I tried to call her once about three years later, but I got what sounded like an angry old polish lady cursing me out lol... didn't understand a word!

That'd be cool to know what she'd look like today, but it just wouldn't feel right. I'd feel like a stalker.


Lol, more like Old Sepultura here mate.
I married somebody else and have a 6 year old. Besides that moving on would mean a brain transplant I reckon!

how come?
I keep in touch with all my ex's. I cannot imagine my life differently. My ex husband is an exception and it drives me crazy -the not knowing if he's ok. His wife object us contacting each other though and I have to respect it. I cannot imagine you have the chance to talk to her, to know, and you don't use it because of an "angry lady".

On the other hand -if the girl behaved the way she did back then, there is a big chance she will still not want to talk to you now.

Yes, they can be.. hehe.


Maybe she's nicer now... or she's dead.

If you call, ask first; czy twoja (szalona) babcia żyje?

If you want to try to find her again and talk to her, or not, is only your decision.

There are pros and cons with everything. But I guess it's tempting.

Thank you.

Believe me, I totally see your point. However, even though I'd love to have some sort of closure, it just wouldn't feel right. Ego? perhaps.

Lol, the angry lady part was just something I found amusing. I didn't even know what she was saying. I'm not even sure she got mad, she just sounded like it.

The Nasza Klasa thing sounds indeed very tempting, but even if I wanted to give it shot, I'd need some polish help since I can't speak the language.

I'm volunteering. :)

It's very tempting. Just not too sure about it. Like 'ooshak' said, more likely I'd get the same response, or should I say, no response...?

I wish i had never met the last polish woman i met, i think poles and brits just dont mix well. Too different.

There are many other combinations that are much more different. Especially outside Europe.

I am losing it a bit today, going crazy in my mind

They mix with us in balkans.Too similar.But Russians are more close.

Yeah russians can imagine that alright! certainly not us

SzwedwPolsce
Im curious about those combinatios that u mencionated...

Experiences are just that and we should be able to put many behind us. The world doesn't stop.