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Different relationship... can it work with Pakistani girl and Polish guy?



sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #1

pakistani girl and polish guy relationship will it ever work? Anyone on here have the same kind of relationship?


gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #2

1.Yes

2.No

You should not ask this here. You are going to get a bunch of cruel people saying things that will make you question it. If you love each other and are good to each other don't sweat it. There are always challenges. You should now by now this forum is not the place to get reasonable advice about racial things.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #3

thanks anyway please dont hate me people lol
gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #4

please dont hate me people lol

If anyone here hates you because of that they are an idiot. Don't give them a second thought. I just wanted to save you grief.
LondonChick 31 | 1,134    
2 Nov 2008  #5

Only you can really answer these questions.

I know an British-Indian guy with a Polish wife. They are happy.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #6

thanks for the answers...no i just wanted to know if anyone on here is experiencing the same thing aswell. It really is different for a girl of my culture
Lodz_The_Boat 33 | 1,534    
2 Nov 2008  #7

for a girl of my culture

Cultures gone to vultures these days!... just be a good person with decent values. But dont leave your Polish man helpless and 'no-mans land' when he was gone through all for you!... be with him... I hope you will be able to do that!... Talk with your parents about it... be firm in your decision!...
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #8

the people from my culture will look down on me and say 'what a shame'. It is different for a girl and its just the way it is. Long story. Im sure someone on here will understand what im saying. I like this guy aswell. Should people get in the way?
Bartolome 2 | 1,086    
2 Nov 2008  #9

Only you can really answer these questions.

I know an British-Indian guy with a Polish wife. They are happy.

And how many Polish men with Indian wives ? Somehow relationships between Asian men and Polish women seem OK to Asians, but I wonder how many are there partnerships of Asian women and Polish men really accepted by the Asians.
gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #10

Should people get in the way?

No...but they always do. You have to decide if you can deal with that problem. Better to decide now than years later trust me.
osiol 55 | 3,926    
2 Nov 2008  #11

Should people get in the way?

Should people stop you from doing something that's perfectly natural and feels right for you?
Is that a sign of kinkiness? "How are you going to punish me?"

Warning: this thread could turn unpleasant. I don't want it to, but it is a possibility.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #12

i'm trying to decide. It is hard coz i dont know what to do
Lodz_The_Boat 33 | 1,534    
2 Nov 2008  #13

Somehow Asian man/Polish woman seems ok to Asians, but I wonder how many are there partnerships of Asian women/Polish men

100% agreement.

It is not odd in the eyes of the Europeans... trust me! But it gets into the eyes of some Asians... specially the elderly who still feel that women shouldnt be given enough freedom to choose right from their heart!

In our places... just look into the universities... Polish girls are with indian and bangladsh, and egyptian men! (however few they maybe...they all seem to get one girl)... while I am telling you, its far more difficult for an Asian girl to come ahead for a Polish man...even if she really wants.

It is hard coz i dont know what to do

That is the problem. You are not serious perhaps... perhaps you just are not confident on yourself! I dont know what to say!... perhaps you better deal with your problem yourself!... but if you end up hurting the Polish boy.... I really think you never deserved him. It hurts when you turn away...and WHATEVER be the reason.
gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #14

i'm trying to decide. It is hard coz i dont know what to do

An internet forum is not going to be the place you find out either.

Some people here will give good advice...some will be stupid for laughs...some will be flat mean. If you need advice talk to people around you that you respect...grandparents, friends, people with life experience.
Wroclaw 45 | 5,409    
2 Nov 2008  #15

i'm trying to decide. It is hard coz i dont know what to do

What is your main worry:

Is it your family ?
His family ?
Being accepted in Poland/England ?
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #16

i knew there was someone that knows what im trying to say. Im in england so thats not a problem. His family i dont know about. Its my family thats the problem.
Wroclaw 45 | 5,409    
2 Nov 2008  #17

Not even family accepts

If you come from a traditional background then you must speak to your elders. You can't afford to break ties with your family and they know it.

Your arguement will have to be strong... yet polite.
If the relationship continues over a period of time then you have a chance to show them how serious the matter is.

Really, the same thing applies with your boyfriend's family.

Is there another member of your family in a mixed relationship ?

Is religion strict in your family ?

Have your boyfriend and family met ?

What was the reaction ?
..................................................................
Only answer what you want to answer.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #18

he has met my family, he was decorating our house during the summer. Religion is strict. And no other family member is in a mixed relationship.
osiol 55 | 3,926    
2 Nov 2008  #19

A friend of mine has an English father and a Pakistani mother. She's in her 20s now, so I imagine there could have been a few difficulties when her parents first started seeing eachother, but obviously not impossible.

Ever considered telling your parents that you're running away to join the circus? You could tell them that it's okay, it's a Pakistani circus! (Are there such things? If not, why not?)

More seriously, how easily can you talk with your parents about your own relationships?
gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #20

it's a Pakistani circus! (Are there such things? If not, why not?)

Yes this exists...it is called the Pakistani government.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #21

lol i will lose all family ties. Nah there no pakistani circus in england lmao.
gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #22

lol i will lose all family ties

That is the root of things. Yes mixed cultural relationships are possible. But they quite often result in the loss or strain of one family or maybe both. You just have to decide...is he or your family more important. It sucks and is very unfair that others put us in these spots but they do.
Wroclaw 45 | 5,409    
2 Nov 2008  #23

sweet_g,

The only thing that I can think of that might help is to find other people, of your religion, in mixed relationships. Talk to them... and possibly introduce them to your family. This might help you and your family to understand possible problems and benefits.

There must be some sort of support group for young people in your position. Check the internet.

I also feel that because your boyfriend was working on your house... your family have already pre-judged him in some way.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #24

trust me they would not accept it at all because of race. They probably kill me lol
gtd 3 | 639    
2 Nov 2008  #25

They probably kill me

If you are serious...meaning honor killing is something you think men in your family are capable of...this is a big deal. I saw the 'lol' but you do have to consider this...I dont know how strict your family is.

If you love this guy and want a life with him it sounds like you know it will mean being excommunicated from family. You just have to decide which is more important to you. None of us can make that judgment.
Wroclaw 45 | 5,409    
2 Nov 2008  #26

trust me they would not accept it at all because of race

Then you have found your answer.
Lodz_The_Boat 33 | 1,534    
2 Nov 2008  #27

That is the root of things. Yes mixed cultural relationships are possible. But they quite often result in the loss or strain of one family or maybe both.

But WHY? Why does this condition must be faced when the Man is European? Because the girl is just lacking self confidence and has not yet acheived a place of substance in the family. That is the only reason I can see.

I have friends living in poland...girls...polish girls...married with Indians!...bangladesh people!... and living happily with family together with them!... when they meet me or we get in contact....all seems to be going as per plan!... but hey!... when its a Polish BOY... or a EUROPEAN man...and the girl is asian... the tide turns!... the planet gets split... and everyone open their books to explain the rules.
OP sweet_g 4 | 79    
2 Nov 2008  #28

because they think we dishonour our culture
osiol 55 | 3,926    
2 Nov 2008  #29

If you are serious...meaning honor killing is something you think men in your family are capable of

More common is the situation where girls are coerced or conned into marrying some cousin back in the old country and they find themselves living the rest of their lives in some remote village near the Afghan border with the most backward member of the family their parents could find. Or something like that.

because they think we dishonour our culture

There is one aspect of the culture that deserves to be dishonoured. This situation forces you to think about some very important things in your life, and it's not just about one particular Polish chap you like.
Wroclaw 45 | 5,409    
2 Nov 2008  #30

lodz,

"they probably kill me lol"

This is not as funny as it looks. It is a serious matter.

Religion and family tradition are key here.




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