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Is it normal for men to abandon their children in Poland?


RomansMom
29 Mar 2022 #1
My son's father abandoned him when he was 2 years old, he is now turning 11. His father swore he loved him and would never leave him, however, he cut off all communication and left our son to be with another woman. He publicly claims his (now adult) stepchildren as his biological kids and posts about them often, especially his stepdaughter (which I find strange). He also does not provide ANY support for our son, including financial support. I am trying to research social norms of family life in Poland to gain clarity. Is it normal for men to abandon their children and completely dismiss their life like he has done?
cms neuf 1 | 1,705
29 Mar 2022 #2
No that is not normal in Poland at all - Poles would consider that very bad behavior
OP RomansMom
29 Mar 2022 #3
Well one of Polands most famous and celebrated musicians abandoned the son we have together. The pain he has caused his own biological child is unfathomable. I won't even mention the emotional abuse and pure evil things he has inflicted on me to try and scare me away from exposing what a monster he is, and so I won't pursue child support. I'm relieved this behavior is not the norm or acceptable in Poland!
GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
29 Mar 2022 #4
Well one of Polands most famous and celebrated musicians

This thread is useless without names and photos. Please provide more detail.
Ziemowit 14 | 4,278
29 Mar 2022 #5
Please provide more detail.

She is a troll, can't you see that?
Crow 155 | 9,025
29 Mar 2022 #7
My son's father abandoned him

Where did you mistaken? Repent.

he cut off all communication and left our son to be with another woman.

Vagina is a wonder.
jon357 74 | 21,782
29 Mar 2022 #8
Well one of Polands most famous and celebrated musicians abandoned the son we have together.

Deal with your problems in the courts not here.

We all have things in our lives without needing to hear other people's.
OP RomansMom
29 Mar 2022 #9
Wow. Thanks for giving me incite into the social norms of Poles! This will help support my case!
His name is Pawel, and I DO have a court case against him!
jon357 74 | 21,782
29 Mar 2022 #10
Do you see a reason not to mention someone's name on the internet?

Even though nobody has heard of him or is interested.
OP RomansMom
29 Mar 2022 #11
I see that people are quick to attack, rather than to support or help. And that's a sad world we live in.
I have nothing but well wishes and prayers for the people of Poland. Especially right now!
Crow 155 | 9,025
29 Mar 2022 #12
Poland is now strongly in a grip of EU and things certainly develop in direction of even stronger grip. You can be even wrong about him but if you are Zulu or from Senegal, court will love you.

But if you are Russian. Well, its your problem.
Ziemowit 14 | 4,278
30 Mar 2022 #13
Thanks, Crow, for such a wonderful analysis of her case.
Paulina 16 | 4,277
30 Mar 2022 #14
social norms of family life in Poland to gain clarity. Is it normal for men to abandon their children and completely dismiss their life

I'd say it isn't "normal" as in it isn't socially accepted (although it is considered to be more "normal" than a mother abandoning a child), but it isn't uncommon. My uncle is like that, for example. We found out that he was married before he married my aunt and that he has kids from that previous marriage only after he went to prison for not paying alimonies O_O Even after he left prison he never mentioned his kids with even one word and it doesn't seem like he ever visits them (he has two kids now with my aunt). I don't know how one can completely discard their own children like that, as if they never existed...

But it does happen and I've heard quite a few stories about men abandoning their kids (not only their wife). Single mothers constitute 19.4% of Polish families - it's one of the highest numbers in Europe (higher number is only in Latvia - 29.1%, Lithuania, Estonia and Slovakia).

Polands most famous and celebrated musicians abandoned the son we have together.

I've never heard of him, tbh.
OP RomansMom
30 Mar 2022 #15
@Paulina
Thank you for your sincere and experience-based perspective. This is the kind of information I was searching for. And, I agree with you, how anyone can live out their life knowing they have a child out there navigating through being abandoned, and ultimately being unloved by their own father, is incomprehensible to me!
mafketis 36 | 10,708
30 Mar 2022 #16
about men abandoning their kids

Brother of a friend has done that twice.... he paid/pays child support but seemed to lose all interest in the kids after the divorce and made/makes no effort to visit (even though they live in the same city).

Before the divorce was very involved but after... ghost.

I've never heard of him

Me either, not really well known in Poland (though he's played with a couple of groups I'd heard of).
Alien 20 | 4,740
30 Mar 2022 #17
Look at Scorpions.
mafketis 36 | 10,708
30 Mar 2022 #18
Scorpions.

No a Polish group, not a musician I'd ever heard of (though I have heard of some groups/performers he'd played with such as Oddział Zamknięty. Pudelsi or Urszula...
Miloslaw 19 | 4,664
30 Mar 2022 #19
Scorpions

They are a very successful German band.

I suspect he has earnt pretty good money as he has been with them for quite a long time.
jon357 74 | 21,782
30 Mar 2022 #20
I see that people are quick to attac

I'm not surprised at all given that you are naming your ex on-line and trying to get sympathy from strangers who have only heard (without asking to hear it) your side of the story in a custody case.

The fact that he's an obscure musician is neither here nor there, apart from the fact that you are trying to blacken his reputation online.

Who to trust when someone is trying to involve others in their domestic problems? Someone who smears stuff about their ex online or someone who doesn't?

Especially one whose username identifies the name of the child in the centre of his parents' dispute. 10 seconds on google and I tracked him (and his social media profiles) down, as could anyone else reading this.
Atch 22 | 4,098
30 Mar 2022 #21
@Romans Mom, what country is your court case in? Anyway, I'd say it's more to do with him being a musician and his lifestyle rather than him being Polish.
jon357 74 | 21,782
30 Mar 2022 #22
I'd say it's more to do

I'd say it's more to do with her mental state since she's named her ex and her child (very handy for any online creeps reading this who want to contact him for a little nighttime chat, maybe exchange a few photos) online for all to read.

She's either a nasty and vindictive character or just plain deranged.

Or both.
Miloslaw 19 | 4,664
30 Mar 2022 #23
She's either a nasty and vindictive character or just plain deranged.

I think you may be right.
A few simple Google searches even come up with who she professes to be.

But he or she may just be an unconnected Polish hating troll.
jon357 74 | 21,782
30 Mar 2022 #24
It's very possible.

Either way there's something extremely off about naming the child at the centre of a custody dispute on an internet forum, even if it's by "jigsaw identification". Possibly illegal in the UK too.
Lyzko 45 | 9,346
31 Mar 2022 #25
In a great deal of Europe during the period following the Black Death, it was not uncommon for certain families with step children especially, to abandon them in the woods, presuming they would die of thirst and starvation!

While it sounds unspeakably cruel, ghastly, indeed inhuman, poor farm families often had difficulty feeding their own, not to mention surplus children.

The latter was the basis for Haensel & Gretel along with numerous other such fairy tales.
Crow 155 | 9,025
31 Mar 2022 #26
Thanks, Crow, for such a wonderful analysis of her case.

Sure, and if they found out she is former male, her chances will increase even more.

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