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Life in Poland - feeling lonely and don't want to socialize much! (anyone feeling same?)

OP Luke84 7 | 114
30 Jul 2015 #31
Hi befranklin,

Big city life is so different, the time spin faster there, here you can almost here your hear beat. When we went for a walk in town centre I have seen people walking by and I thought they must not have any worries, they were walking so slow, even with little dog :) I felt like the time is about to stop!

Anyway that was one of the experiences I had! In UK we have loads of rain in general so I must admit that weather is Poland is very good, there is no middle ground tho, you have all but cold days or all but hot days, nothing on the middle... She is talking to me in Polish so that helps a lot, I can communicate in that language quite well, obviously not like a TV star, may not be enough if I wanted to work here as some Poles (if not all young Poles) mastered the language beautifully! For example you are going to Play store - they sell mobile phones, sim cards etc, people will be talking like they have doctor's degree! My wife is supporting me everyday, I can see that is not very easy task for her but she wants me to feel here like in my own house (in theory that is indeed our house as we paid for it!) but just doesn't feel like it, again I'm here for just over one month! That is right, Poles have very strong character, it's like do what I want you to do or do how I want this to be done by you :) same thing!

Do you have kids? this I think is very important as once you have your family you cannot risk in life anymore, if you do have kids - how old they are? are they in pre-school age? If so - you will be fine! Other thing to ask yourself and check is: do you both have enough savings to keep you going for couple of years, what is your/her profession, where about in Poland you want to settle, is it difficult to find a job in what you do, how your salary will compare to expenses, have you got somewhere to stay? We were very lucky as house I had in UK, I bought for only 170K, and my mortgage was paid off within 7 years, when we sold the house in UK we got over 350K for we had fair amount of money to get us started here, also I was lucky to take 80% of my work to Poland which again helps a lot. My wife doesn't work at the moment as she is looking after little one and house, however she wants to have her own money at some point so maybe by next summer she will be looking for some job.

If you will have any questions about anything, please do drop me a line, I'm happy to share what I can :)
30 Jul 2015 #32
I think it,s working...Luke seems to be bucking up!!! Good to know that there are people out there who are willing to offer advice. I am in a greement with totti....don,t get into the winter slovenliness......the snow is crisp and dry, not at all like that nasty, wet, slushy UK stuff......go out for walks and see another kind of beauty in Poland.....make a point of checking out all the parks on a walk.....or a different park ever day. I am a country boy and lucky enough to live where it is beautiful all year round. I am no where near as a good at languages as you! yes I can understand what people are saying but I,m still not confident enough to do more than make slight interjections into conversations now and then and only among people I know well. I am glad that you lived in another country as well, that always helps, I,m sure that 15 years of Army travel around the world helped me....but it also gave me one disadvantage.....I really thought this was going to be Germany with a different accent!!!! how wrong I was!! totally different culture and people. Just on the woman we know just showed me a picture of a bird on her phone and asked if I knew what it was...luckily I did....It was a Hoopoe and it has been visiting her house for weeks now, it is a migrant and will move on soon...but I have never seen one despite being from rural Oxfordshire, I remember my dad telling me he saw one once, when he was a boy!!! and just yesterday I had a Hummingbird Moth on flowers in the garden outside the front door.....had loads of them in UK. Yes also get a good bike and go out a bit more careful though, as you may have noticed the traffic does flow a bit faster than UK.....actually it can be bloody lawless!! but not all drive like that.....don,t let it fool you though!! there will be another maniac along in a minute....stick to cycle paths if they have them, as much as you can. Lidl (English week) is a great help for English things like Chutnies, Lime marmalade, real Cheddar...etc etc. People do post on here sometimes when it is English week in Lidl...great to be reminded.
Roger5 1 | 1435
30 Jul 2015 #33
real Cheddar

Available in Biedronka all year. Cheap, too.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
30 Jul 2015 #34
Thank you Kamaz and Roger,

I have to admit this forum helps a lot, look on how many connections I have made so far, that was all by writing some miserable stuff :)

What I noticed since yesterday is you can feel nice in Poland if you have your English speaking mates, even if they are sitting in different towns or countries, that really helps. What would be good and what I found missing on this site (or maybe I'm just blind) is chat room and some listings for goods if you want to buy/sell stuff or organize/attend an event. I'm a programmer myself and I can make functionality like that, I may email our Admin and ask him if there is a way I can help in my spare time... Site like that is really needed! He have a full credit for that! Excellent idea.

Going to cycling which I like, what is the best bike to go for? I have an old Specialized bike but it's a rockhopper, apparently very good bike, but only if you are planning to jump over the mountains!!! I want a road bike which is not heavy and not with very slim tyres, I just never tried the bike like that before.

Other thing is food! I can help getting some proper English stuff through my friend who runs butcher's shop, they do supply loads of pubs/restaurants/schools etc, so I'm sure I can help getting some English made stuff but it's good to see you can buy some stuff here as well!

What I'm missing here (again don't know maybe they are places like that) is a proper Indian Takeaway, I had two favourite ones back in UK...

Can you get them here? Also never seen a lamb kebab in Poland...
Roger5 1 | 1435
30 Jul 2015 #35
Ah, lamb. Lamb is not easy to get hold of in Poland. The other day I bought four tiny frozen NZ lamb cutlets from Biedronka for 20PLN. Lidl sometimes carries lamb. Makro has it for silly money. From time to time I get some through a vet contact or from someone in my village. Mutton is easier, or less difficult, to find. Lamb kebabs? Forget it. I used to use a Turkish restaurant that mixed mutton with veal for its kebabs, which worked quite well. As with everything else, the bigger cities have more of everything, so you could go to one with a cool box and stock up. I have twice bought half a lamb, butchered it (ineptly), and frozen it. Ask around. Sometimes a farmer will kill a lamb to order.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
30 Jul 2015 #36
how about Indian take away and some seafood such as big prawns, cockles or calamari?
Roger5 1 | 1435
30 Jul 2015 #37
Tiger prawns and calamari are easy to find, though the former are pricey. Outside the big cities Indian restaurants are very, very rare. Lidl used to sell Irish curries (!) during British week which were very nice, but for some reason they don't now. Similarly, for about a year Biedronka had pretty good curry and rice, but not now. Curry powder is easy enough to find, but not great. Curry sauces are available in good shops like Piotr i Paweł, and you can, I believe, buy Rajah or Sharwoods stuff online. Harry's yer man for online shopping for British goods. Perhaps he'll give you some advice once he's out of the hands of the doctors.
Ziemowit 14 | 4103
30 Jul 2015 #38
@ luke84
Getting a job that suits you, be it part time and low-paid, should be a good option for you. You need to work purely for social reasons rather than economic ones. At the moment you are only confined to your family circle and a remote job. That is not good for anyone in the long run. The easiest way to socialize in your case would be to get in contact with other people at work.
Marsupial - | 871
30 Jul 2015 #39
How about sport do u play it? That is always good.
Roger5 1 | 1435
30 Jul 2015 #40
Good idea. You'll find informal volleyball matches in just about every high school gym in the evenings. I know lots of guys who hire gyms for an hour or two and have a game with pals. The beer after is just as important.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
30 Jul 2015 #41
Hi Ziemowit,

I'm sure you are right, however I love what I do for living and I won't be able to opt-out from it, also this is giving a fair income to help maintaining my family needs, at the moment I'm saving but when education for little one will knock onto my doors, I would have to cough up some money! Also I don't know for how long my wife will be out of work, but probably she would be doing some courses to start with... Again future is very unknown, I'm glad that I can work from home, I have special room dedicated for that so I can work in piece for 8+hours per day...

Hi Marsupial,

With the sport - I used to play tennis and cycle but now I'm approaching 18.5 stones and I'm 5.97" so that is a good sign where I need to start doing some exercises... There is loads of these personal fitness people in here but I never used them, I guess I need to work this out myself :) Not easy to lose some weight as I have asthma and I love "crap" food such as pizza or other similar stuff, also I do drink coca-cola constantly! I'm attached to it!

I want to try golf as well...

Need to change my bad habits first!
Marsupial - | 871
30 Jul 2015 #42
I am mega fit for my age. That's something that didn't just start been playing various things all my life so I don't even understand why people don't. I like to have some junk once a week but that gets burned off so I don't care. Being fit will change your outlook apart from meeting people which will help to meet more people. Also going to poland toward xmas if you want to go out with a bunch of ppl and meet more. Send me a pm with email. Cheers.
30 Jul 2015 #43
Why don't you set up a Skype chat room so you can see who you are talking to and it's always better than typing and getting returned text.

Just a thought.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
30 Jul 2015 #44
Hi tictactoe,

It is easy to setup Skype but how much fuss you will get is unbelievable, here you have mostly mature people with I would say confirmed pedigree, in skype or other chats you will find all of these from grey side of internet, I'm talking on behalf of my experience here:) At least this is old fashioned but proved to be working for 10 (maybe more) years...

Dougpol1 29 | 2501
30 Jul 2015 #45
a Skype chat room

A Polishforums Skype chatroom.......? There's an idea.
Haha.... I can imagine me and Crow having a cosy little chat :)
Krakow Expats
30 Jul 2015 #46
Hi Luke
I've been here for 4 years, after visiting for 16 yrs. I thought it would be a breeze. It isn't, life can be tough anywhere. I know you are just outside Kraków, but not too far.

My friends in PL were exclusively Polish until I took over an expat related business (Krakow Post), and I had to, slightly reluctantly get into the expat scene, and I have to say they are a mixed bunch, but overall a great bunch. Many people feeling isolated and lonely, like you, it's natural.

Check out FB, love it or hate it, much of Expat life revolves around the various social media groups.

Main thing is, sit it out, life here can be magical. My wife, (Polish) uses and imaginary wave form, ie flat line for UK, meaning it is steady and consistent, but that can be boring. In PL she uses a wavy peaks and troughs, some incredible great highs, moments, events etc, and some really low, sh1tty things or experiences, but that makes life more interesting.

I run a few Expat Groups in KRK, mainly to help folks make and meet friends, and to support and help each other, particularly newcomers.

Krakow Expats on FB
Krakow Expat Families
Krakow Photography Group
Krakow TV
etc. (all voluntary ie not for profit)

I also organise a monthly meetup, Krakow Expats & Friends, always on last Thursday of the month, ie Tonight, Budda Bar, Rynek.

Why not come along, or come to the next one?

Also should you or anyone ever feel the need to talk to anyone professionally, in English -
OP Luke84 7 | 114
30 Jul 2015 #47
Thanks Krakow Expats,

Sounds really interesting, I will certainly look at these once everything here is sorted/covered... Thank you for pointing me onto those right directions.

If you need any help with business from technical site, some ideas, programming etc etc do let me know. If it is non-profit organisation it may need some professional help which I can offer in my spare time for fun :)
befranklin 1 | 41
31 Jul 2015 #48
but if you want that all the time, Poland is not the best place.

Hi Roger5, I hear you about the cold winters in Poland, I have been 3 times already but never in winter first in spring, May, September and this year in late April. My wife's mother has a house in a town called Sandomierz, I think it popular because of the Pope. It's fairly large house and I guess eventually my wife will end up with it if her mother passes. Right now we don't own a house and rent, so if we did we'd probably just stay here. I'm thinking that as my wife is really Polish, when her mom get on and can't get around I suspect my wife will want to be there for her. That's going to be soon I think. Her mom gets around but can't go up the stairs.

Our plan isn't to live in Poland for the winter but try and find someplace in a warmer area of the EU, we are looking at dubrovnik, Italy, Spain or France and buy a little house or apartment hopefully near the ocean. When we do it I will be retiring and hopefully have enough money to live on and travel.

I know people say that Poland is expensive and my wife does too but when you convert dollars to Zloty you are able to buy more, I hope the dollar stays strong against the EU so that when its time to buy a house over there it won't be so expensive. Houses her in California are very expensive but we are saving and have a good down and additional money with which to buy a house.....but traveling first, I need a long term resident permit for Poland before doing anything then we want to travel to places we think we'd like to live and rent a small place for a couple of weeks to get to know the area and then buy somewhere we really like. Not sure if it will work out but it would be nice to try.

Hi Luke,

It's good to hear from you, I feel like friends already. Luke I'm not young anymore, I'm in my 50's and thinking about retirement sometime in the next couple of years. I'm tired of what is happening in my job. I'm not really making a difference here so I am biding my time here. I work for the government so I am hoping that the amount that I receive will be enough to live comfortable. I have worked hard and want to enjoy the golden years of my life. I understand that you are young and can understand why you feel the way you do. I was in Warsaw in April and I was impressed at the speed of the city and the life that goes on there. Alot to do and see there, certainly a good night life and social life. When you are young, (I said I'm older not dead, I'm still active and run and play sports), you want that kind of life where you are always on the go but I'm kind of tired of it now and want the slow life that you have in a little willage. A life where I can go to the cities when I want to and enjoy life but then back to the peace and quiet.

I don't have any kids with my Polish wife even though she would have liked to have some. I was married before and have a real daughter who is 20 and a step daughter who is 22 and a son who is 25. I say step because while I am not still married to their mom I am still their father and raised them so they are mine whether I like it or not. We try to live a simple life and my wife work in a department store as a sales associate but she doesn't make much money but she saves it all and we live off my salary. My wife kind of like to shop but I think all Polish women do so it must be part of their make up.

Luke, how is your relationship with your wife? That is first and foremost. Is she beautiful like most of the Polish women? My girl is okay, she was a real looker when she was young, now she has a few pounds on and I'm trying to get her into shape but I'm not making it very far. She not fat just getting voluptuous, I prefer a skinnier girl. I think all the food in the USA is not good for her and we eat really healthy but it's taken it toll on her.

Right now it's really hot and sunny here what's the weather like in Poland?
OP Luke84 7 | 114
31 Jul 2015 #49
Thanks befranklin,

I will PM you :)

This weekend we are planing to go to ZOO, never being in Polish ZOO before, are there many places like that close to Krakow? One better than the other?
Roger5 1 | 1435
31 Jul 2015 #50
are there many places like that close to Krakow?

Don't come to Białystok for the zoo. It's only got one animal, a dog. It's a Shih tzu.
smurf 39 | 1949
31 Jul 2015 #51
One better than the other?

I hear that Wroclaw is supposed to have the best one.
I've been once, they had 3 different types of bears. So I was happy.
There's one in Katowice too, it's OK.
Felt awful sorry for the lonely elephants though. But the good thing about the zoo in Katowice is that it's in a huge park. And closer to you than Wroclaw.
Dougpol1 29 | 2501
31 Jul 2015 #52
There's one in Katowice too, it's OK.

Don't go to Katowice zoo Luke.! It has dinosaurs, who will try to eat your little girl :( Come to Gdansk zoo instead :)
smurf 39 | 1949
31 Jul 2015 #53

Jesus, I forgot about the dinosaurs, they're awesomely lame.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
31 Jul 2015 #54
Hi Dougpol1, dinosaurs? come on :) What I be able to see a cave man too?
Roger5 1 | 1435
31 Jul 2015 #55
Come to Gdansk zoo instead

Just about the best zoo I've ever been to, although quite a work out if you cover the whole place (120 ha). I'd forgotten just how hilariously disgusting chimpanzees are in their habits, and how like us they are.
smurf 39 | 1949
31 Jul 2015 #56
What I be able to see a cave man too?

It's yes.
31 Jul 2015 #57
To me Białystok in one of the more depressing large/voivodship cities in PL...
1 Aug 2015 #58
>It's yes.

in defence of the place, its getting a lot better, dare i even say the people i meet there seem more approachable than a lot of other places, actually reminds me of some parts of hertfordshire !!
1 Aug 2015 #59
Just a note that may be a bit late now......those Lamb chops in Biedronka are now down to 9.99zl for a pack of 4 ..(special offer) we cleared our shop out, trolley full for our big chest freezer.

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