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Life in Poland - feeling lonely and don't want to socialize much! (anyone feeling same?)

Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #1
Hello Everyone,

Few words about me, I have just moved to Poland (currently here since 27th of June), I have nice house, polish wife, little daughter but I don't have any friends, and already missing UK where I grow up! I can speak polish - I would say well, but I start feeling that I'm very lonely and don't want to socialize much, anyone feeling same? Anyone here?
Marsupial - | 871
29 Jul 2015 #2
Hi mate. Don't fall into that loop. You must socialize. Give it a try you will eventually have awesome friends. If you become negative that is detectable and makes it harder to make friends. Be positive smile and be patient it can take a while but it will come.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #3
Thanks mate, I really hope so, for some reason I can see people who are not exactly polite pretty much everywhere, I hope I'm not going into depression loop, never been there tho and not sure how I would live with it...
jon357 74 | 22,746
29 Jul 2015 #4
Which city do you live in? Are there many interesting people where you work?
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #5
I do live in Chrzanow, it is a small town between Krakow and Katowice, I work remotely in UK so I have some contact but only with clients... Don't have any folks here tho...
jon357 74 | 22,746
29 Jul 2015 #6
I know Chrzanów. It isn't the most inspiring of places. Do you get back to the UK much?
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #7
I'm only here for 1 month, but we moved here with my wife and little one, I don't get back to UK as we sold house there to buy house here and have some savings, however I don't think that was a good idea... I feel very weird already, prices here are not super cheap either...
jon357 74 | 22,746
29 Jul 2015 #8
No, it isn't super cheap. You have to go to the Czech Republic for that, and yes, Chrzanów must be fairly isolating. The way you feel about living in Poland can come and go in stages. One minute it's great, the next it's dreadful. Plus of course any big change in lifestyle comes a a shock in one way or another. I suggest a nice holiday somewhere or a trip home - always a good cure, and something to look forward to.

Do you have any hobbies? How did you spend your free time back in the UK?
delphiandomine 87 | 18,070
29 Jul 2015 #9
Life is always going to be tough in a smaller place if you don't have an established network there regardless of what country you're in.

for some reason I can see people who are not exactly polite pretty much everywhere

Do bear in mind that what seems "rude" to us isn't necessarily rude. The word proszę for instance - when you learn Polish well, you'll find out that the word is implied in many cases.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #10
Hi Jon,

Czech Republic sounds nice but as a holiday, we already bought a house in Poland, my wife moved into that house 9 months ago and I followed here. Today postman brought a letter from UK with my pension scheme to sign, funny enough envelope was empty :( so another fantastic experience... I already told wife on why we don't compromise (she didn't like UK to start with) and not buy a place in US (maybe OHIO)instead where the weather is good and people are nice and friendly. Here you have this feeling that everyone is talking about you, when you ask help in shop they feel like they don't need to help you, I don't know - I hope it's only my experience and no one else feels that way. With hobbies I'm trying to find one :) I work a lot, I'm a programmer so this is my hobby in a way. I bought PS4 console but with little one around I was able to switch that on twice :), in UK I had many friends so was attending some events quite often... Here I don't know anyone and have this feeling that people don't like me, never felt this way in UK, even my in laws are not my fans :) I found a place close to Krakow - there is little golf club (maybe not little:) - quite huge) and I'm thinking to join the club, but I never played golf in my life, perhaps I need to try it first... I'm only 31 and feeling like my life is already gone...


You are probably right, what you can suggest to someone like me? Do you live in Poland as well? How are you finding it? I can speak polish, maybe not as people in TV :)
29 Jul 2015 #11
Luke...I am not remotely in the same circumstances as you, except for being married to a Polish woman, but I have been here over 5 years and not one day spent back in the UK.....internet has all the TV films etc I could want. I live in a small village (well up the hill outside the village - no close neighbours) I don,t have to work, I,d be embarrassed to write her how much I have to play with each month....but I don,t miss anyone from UK....don,t miss the chavs, or the uneducated fools in the factory where I last worked......I don,t miss the council tax or road taxes or the prices for almost anything!!! especially diesel!!! I could kill for a good pork pie...or a real Cornish pastie!!!!! or a Fry,s Turkish delight or Cadbury's Flake.....UK beers are everywhere, my favourite Vodka (Belvedere) is not hard to come by and even Jim Beam is prolific......I can play with my off road toys to my delight on lanes and tracks everywhere....and the weather is Great......well summer here is hot and very dusty and winter is fun in my 4x4,s. Really it,s all about what you want??? 'this that I have'..... is what I want........maybe you are missing something.......because you want something else? Yes they will talk about you......try village in a village is so boring for the people, that they make up lies and stories constantly about you, their neighbours and anyone passing through!!! it helps them not to die of boredom in their small dull lives, look at it as they are just ordinary folks trying to get by in a place where it is 'Goundhog Day' every day...forverer and ever!!!!
Dougpol1 30 | 2,567
29 Jul 2015 #12
I'm only 31 and feeling like my life is already gone...

Mmm - new baby blues? 20 minutes from Krakow, plenty of cricket on pirate TV, great cycling country, Jura for the nipper with picnics, Poles socialise at home as you will know (you will be alright once you join the grill party set) etc etc.

Chin up old chap!
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #13
Thanks Kamaz, how do you watch BBC? Do you have some VPN as I'm unable to connect to UK tv, I really like your reply - you are so optimistic, 5 years is a long time and you made it, so what is your hobby? you drive 4x4 off-road? I have 4x4 (bought for wife and little one) but I'm scared to take it for that purpose :) it's one of those soft 4x4's even if it's seems huge and unbreakable. What other hobbies do you have? Have you got any kids?

Thanks Dougpol1, I need to look at my options, I do like cycling as well... Krakow is very expensive tho, have been in small restaurant, had nothing on the plate and bill come close to £30 (that doesn't include any alcohol)
delphiandomine 87 | 18,070
29 Jul 2015 #14
bill come close to £30

That's not normal... If you're going to try and live like a king here, you'll find that the costs add up very very quickly. Harry can tell more, but from what I've gathered from him, a very good dinner here can set you back over 500zl easily.

For what it's worth, I was in Kraków a couple of weeks ago and stuffed my face for 60zl including coffee. It wasn't exactly a high class restaurant, but the food was decent, filling and hit the spot wonderfully.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #15
Oh wow, so I need to be really careful with that, Do you know any restaurants, places which you can recommend? I don't really want to live like a king, I want some quality life for my little one (she is almost 1 year old now), I know we have time but I'm now thinking about some private education for her, again I don't need much from life, is OK on what I achieved so far, I'm glad I can work remotely and I have some savings, I'm happy with my life overall. My wife is really trying hard to make my life easier here, but I think the problem and fear is within me, somewhere inside, I don't have especially big problems with language, de facto - my polish is OK, I can go to shop, buy whatever I want, I can go to post office, restaurant, I can start the conversation with random people but I just feel very isolated. I don't know if that is this culture shock! I had some polish friends back in UK, and all of them were saying - if you have job and money, don't have mortgage and you do have your own place to live you are sorted. I don't feel sorted, I feel isolated like a stranger. I do like fresh air, I do like these all quiet nights you can just walk in your garden, I love food here, fresh fruits, etc etc Only social part of my life is sacrificing, I never though that element will have such a big impact on my entire life :) I like that forum, I registered only today, and I can see there is so many friendly people who I can talk about some crap I would never mention when I was living in UK :)

Thanks to everyone on that forum for that.
Roger5 1 | 1,443
29 Jul 2015 #16
I could kill for a...real Cornish pastie!

Make some. There are loads of recipies online. It's easy, and you'll know what's in them.

  • Pasty
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #17
I didn't know that you cannot buy them here, I'm too new :) already see what I will be missing but I need to concentrate on good sides of my existence perhaps :) yummy - that picture really talk to my belly! So far I had 4x take away kebabs and about dozen of pizza's delivered to my home... Another month to go and I will be on "must have" diet!

On other token my friend runs butcher firm is Surrey and they do sell pasties and other stuff, I can ask him and perhaps I can organize something if you guys are interested? Do let me know, they really have quality stuff...

Thanks again guys
29 Jul 2015 #18
how long did you live in england before moving to poland? did you have closer friends in england or your home country?
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #19
Hi, I was living in UK for 20 years, before that I was living in Sweden for 10 years! I do have loads of friends in UK...
Dougpol1 30 | 2,567
29 Jul 2015 #20
how do you watch BBC? is the simplest option. Completely free.
jon357 74 | 22,746
29 Jul 2015 #21
Filmon is great, and having British TV would provide a bit of continuity for you. If you want to get rid of the ads a subscription is cheap (or watch it on a Mac where that doesn't seem to matter).
Dougpol1 30 | 2,567
29 Jul 2015 #22
If you want to get rid of the ads

Ads? Only when you change channels..... And the subscription gives HD, and no buffering. Generally SD is alright, except for some sports..... At 14 quid a month HD is relatively expensive....

Anyway, the OP needs to acclimatise and get into his environment around where he lives, and not be cocooned in front of the tele (says a depressive).

Back to the topic please
Atch 20 | 4,151
29 Jul 2015 #23
I'm interested Luke, did you spend much time in Poland before you decided to move there? It's a great place for a holiday but living there is a very different kettle of fish.
OP Luke84 7 | 114
29 Jul 2015 #24
Hi Atch, no problem at all, please let me know how many and what sort of filling and I will check everything with Clive - the butcher:) I have spent some time before but never more than couple of weeks for short holidays, we were always busy with shopping, etc etc, now there is completely different angle of life :)
29 Jul 2015 #25
well i met quite a few swedes and they are actually the ones who say they and Finnish people have loneliness issues in their home countries, which i empathise with obviously, anyway you must make the effort to meet some more people not just virtual people :-)
befranklin 1 | 41
29 Jul 2015 #26
Hi, I was living in UK for 20 years, before that I was living in Sweden for 10 years! I do have loads of friends in UK.

Hi Luke84,

Quite interesting about your situation, I am here in the US and maybe planning to see if I can survive there in Poland. Cheers to to having mastered the Polish language, not many UK or Americans can. I myself don't speak much Polish and my Polish wife keeps reminding me to get started learning or I will be lost if we settle over there. I'm living in big old nasty LA and would almost give anything to be where you are without the hustle and bustle of the city life. As long as I'm close enough to come and go when I need to, I think I'd be happy. The thing I'm dreading is that by living in LA we do have great weather. This winter, (I should say what winter?) there was no rain or cold weather to speak of at all just nice warm weather. It's about all that good around here, many Europeans and other want to come because of the economic stabability, which it has of course if you are qualified and can get a good job. I'm sorry that you feel isolated, I'd like to hear more as with your command of the language it would seem you'd be able to get on while you are there with the wifey. How is she about this? How is she dealing with it? My Polish wife seems to have adjusted here fairly well but I still have to deal with her Polish personality and it drives me crazy. I wish she was more western and more open-minded but she not and forget about trying to get her to change. As I've said before, " You can take the Pole out of Poland but never the Polish out of the Pole".

She has become a US citizen but I tell you if she couldn't have both she'd just be Polish. Now she can come and go as she pleases and we go to Poland almost every year and just got back in May. I'd love to hear more of your situation as it would help me with my decision to go there or stay here.

29 Jul 2015 #27
Well, winters in Poland are very depressing, no way of getting around that... I think one way to combat that would be to set a challenging routine and stick to it (say swimming/sauna/grota solna every other day, etc.)... otherwise it is very easy to fall in the overdrink and/or overeat vicious cycle... unfortunately, there is no running away from the backward mentality (and omnipotent and omnipresent influence of the Catholic Church) where the general rule is the smaller the place the worse it is... in general, I could see the appeal of settling there for retirees in the senior end, but for people in the productive stages of their lives it is not so hot an option...
wojciechm - | 3
30 Jul 2015 #28
I am a Pole married to a Canadian wife, we are on the more to Poland. My family is great help in adopting to our new life in Poland whenever it will come, I have many friends too I ave not seen in 30 years. My wife says Poles do not smile but when you break the ice they are ready to give you a their heart. Small town mentality can be depressing though I must admit but you will find nice people everywhere. I moved to Canada just like you Luke84. I went through long depression of loneliness and luck of ability to connect to the North American mentality. The secret is however to keep in touch with your roots and make friends. I will give you a hint, Poles are respectful to foreigners, more educated ones then uneducated. Connect to educated crowd who likes and wants to speak english. Did you think of teaching English? You can offer conversational group english session. Its a great experience, fantastic networking boost and good money. My wife is panning to do it once we move here. We opt for Wroclaw or Katowice. Not sure yet. Contact me.
Dougpol1 30 | 2,567
30 Jul 2015 #29
the appeal of settling there for retirees in the senior end

Why Totti? It's not cheap any more for anyone to live in Poland, especially for the retired to properly heat that big house.... I would have thought Polish American retirees who want to be in the mother country would be better off in Italy or wherever, then they could jump on a plane and visit Gorzow-Wielkapolski whenever, without having to suffer it all year round :)
Roger5 1 | 1,443
30 Jul 2015 #30
The thing I'm dreading is that by living in LA we do have great weather.

Be prepared for up to five months of cold weather, and temperatures of minus 25 or even colder (the coldest I've experienced is minus 35). I like winter in Poland, but some things are not so enjoyable: shovelling snow for two hours, and then waking up next day to find the same amount has fallen overnight; keeping the house warm if you don't use expensive oil or gas; driving on ice and snow; wearing a ton of clothes; women disappearing under a ton of clothes for half the year.

In summer the weather can be hot and sunny, but if you want that all the time, Poland is not the best place.

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