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Customs - First Holy Communion in Poland

JonnyM 11 | 2,620
14 May 2011 #31
the hyper-commercialisation of our times. High-powered adverts have brainwashed people into allowing what since time immemorial had been family occasions par excellence fall into the ‘just reach for your credit card, we’ll do the rest’ mode.

I don't think so. People in the past bought as much as was available, including communion robes, presents etc. Now the choice is bigger, and people can decide what not to buy. Weddings are the same - they have always been as 'commercial' as people can afford. In Brueghel's The Wedding Feast from the mid 16th Century, the people serving the food were caterers.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,446
14 May 2011 #32
It's a question of degree. Communion parties used to held ONLY in the home, and studniówkas ONLY in schools. Now its all industry and commercialism. Everything is de-intimatised...communion industry, reality shows, tabloidisation of everything... Do you really not see any of this and feel you must be the eternal apologist for the forces of militant commercialism? Maybe you're on their payroll?
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
14 May 2011 #33
and studniówkas ONLY in schools.

very few in the last twenty years, if any.

stretch limos are hired to whisk kids to clubs and restaurants for the festivities.

it's usually hotels with conference type facilities: large room, catering etc.

iv'e never heard of a studniowka in a club or bar, although some students will leave the official party early and then go to a club.

as for first communion. it's a buisness. the church dictate what is to be worn and it varies each year. so don't think about saving money by passing things down. having three girls it's something i know about.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,446
14 May 2011 #34
If you haven't seen many in the past 20 years, does that automaticlaly make the commercialisation of everything good? We now have more drink-driving deaths. Does that make them good? It's surprising how many people have such an underdeveloped faculty of critical analysis.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
14 May 2011 #35
if that is directed at me. go soak your head

there are good sides to commercialisation. both studniowka and first communion provide an opening for various business ventures. who am i to complain, if someone is making a quick buck and at the same time making life and organization easier for the client.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,446
14 May 2011 #36
i suppose if the highest value to someone is the quick buck, then you may be right. But shouldn't we be able to rise above the mundane and pedestrian and see the big picture. What is the 'just reach for your credit card' and 'live on credit' mentality, the 'here and now' obsession doing both to individual people and entire societies? Hasn't anyone learnt anythign from the big American fiasco that produced the recent crisis? It's something to think about.
JonnyM 11 | 2,620
14 May 2011 #37
Communion parties used to held ONLY in the home, and studniówkas ONLY in schools.

Is there any reason they should be held "ONLY" in the home or school?
15 May 2011 #38
I know nothing about the latter tradition, but with the first communion - it really is just about showing everyone how much you pretend to be able to afford and begging lots of money from guests. I really, really cannot imagine why you'd invite 50 people to a first communion dinner. It's just... unbelievable.

Why is everything so black and White with you?
Don't tar everyone with the same brush as we had over 50 people to our daughters communion and it had nothing to do with showing off... It was more that the family wanted to get together for a party to celebrate her communion, and there was no alcohol at her request in keeping with the family's tradition on these parties of which was totally respected as it was her day.

No 'begging' was done (nice choice of sarcastic words) and our daughter was given a combined gift where the family paid for a bike and trampoline for her.

But that was not the main reward for my daughter the reward was that she was very proud of her day and she wanted to share it with her family, and when you have children I hope you will see the pride in their eyes as well.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,446
15 May 2011 #39
The home and family circle generates a different, more a familiar and intimate ambience with more participation and interaction. A commercial establishment is by defintion less intimate, more institutionalised and less suitable for a family occasion.

This is not to stop or prevent anyone travelling the commercial route if that strikes their fancy -- only a socio-cultural commentary from an observer who feels there is too much hyper-commericlaism in today's world.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
15 May 2011 #40
Don't tar everyone with the same brush as we had over 50 people to our daughters communion and it had nothing to do with showing off...

Must admit - that sounds really nice :) And your child requesting no alcohol is also really nice - I really admire you and your family for going along with it as well. I saw one First Communion party in a restaurant where a bunch of elderly relatives were getting smashed on vodka - horrific, to say the least :/
12 Apr 2021 #41

Answering your questions: Yes, there's mostly a party after church. In the past, the dinner was taking place at home, but now parents prefer to organize this in the restaurant.

Regarding gifts: The universal gift is mostly money. Parents store it in the saving account or they invest it in, exemplarily, laptop. This will also save you from the gift they don't need. It really depends how close your relationship with the family is. Kids get bikes, watches, but sometimes the families simply exaggerate with costs.

My advice is, as mentioned above, to get to know the friend's daughter better. Or give some money in an envelope and add something symbolic beside. There are some options on the pages like I used there and there are some shops you can write in English too. Furthermore, there's an infoline where the girl can advise you the proper shop and can help with sending request.

I hope, my answer helped a bit. :)
Cargo pants 2 | 1,099
13 Apr 2021 #42
We usually give money in a Card,with amount depending on the standard and the restaurant organised in.

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