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Im a Black American Moving to Poland. Worried about adaptation.


nitajez 1 | 3
7 Mar 2011 #1
Hi Im a Black American moving to Poland with my Husband who was born and raised there. We have been married for 6 years and my husband has no family members in the States. He's been living in the States for 10 years and the only reason he stayed was me. But now it is time to make the grand gesture for him by moving to Poland. But Im so nervous about this move. Im worried about moving so far away and being able to adapt or better yet people adapting to me? I get along with everyone I meet and I embrace different cultures. I love to travel and I hate to say that we have been married for 6 years and This will be my first time stepping foot in Poland.
Stu 12 | 522
7 Mar 2011 #2
But now it is time to make the grand gesture for him by moving to Poland.

and I hate to say that we have been married for 6 years

I guess this needs a little bit of editing ... ?
OP nitajez 1 | 3
7 Mar 2011 #3
yes it does. But then again this isnt an english classs. I on my way out and decided to type this up. Thanks though. Its not a big deal for me moving to Poland. I love him with all my heart. He stayed here in the States for me for 6yrs. when all he wanted to do was be back in Poland with his family, and is family is amazing. I love them!
Harry
7 Mar 2011 #4
But Im so nervous about this move. Im worried about moving so far away and being able to adapt or better yet people adapting to me? I get along with everyone I meet and I embrace different cultures. I love to travel and I hate to say that we have been married for 6 years and This will be my first time stepping foot in Poland.

It's going to depend a lot on where you are moving to. If you're going to a big, fairly rich city (somewhere like Warsaw or Krakow or Poznan or Lodz or Wroclaw) where people are used to seeing non-white people, you'll be fine. But smaller poorer cities in 'Poland B' will be another story altogether: they can be much less welcoming places for foreigners, particularly ones who are not white.

What are you planning to do in Poland? If you don't speak Polish, there aren't many career options open to you.

Why not come over to Poland for a long holiday this summer? Perhaps three or four weeks. See what you think of the place. And then come again for two weeks at Christmas, so you can see what the place is like in winter (i.e. very different!).
delphiandomine 88 | 18,454
7 Mar 2011 #5
I love them!

On a purely practical note - I recommend going and staying with them for a couple of weeks before committing to move.

Polish families can be rather claustrophobic - and while it might be nice to begin with, you might get an unpleasant surprise when Babcia starts breaking eggs over your children's heads to ward off evil spirits.
OP nitajez 1 | 3
7 Mar 2011 #6
Im currently on disability in the States. I wish I had all that time to figure out if I would like living there. But his mother has cancer and things arent looking that great. I would be moving to Zielona Gora.
Wroclaw Boy
7 Mar 2011 #7
But his mother has cancer and things arent looking that great.

What kind/stage? if thats the main reason for moving what happens after/if she dies?

Zielona Gora has a population of 117,000, thats definitely a B city, there wont be many coloured people there. Ive been there a few times, didnt like it much.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,454
7 Mar 2011 #8
if thats the main reason for moving what happens after/if she dies?

Indeed - especially if there's property involved, be very, very careful.
Yujung - | 2
4 Apr 2011 #9
I am Asian and live in Wroclaw around 2 years and sometimes still feel unconfortable when I go out.
mrsn 1 | 9
19 Apr 2011 #10
nitajez
Congradulations on your decision and move. For I will be doing the same soon myself. My husband and I have been married for 4years together for 6. I just came from Poland visiting the family and it is very different. They live in a village but came from a big city. I would recommend you visiting first. But life is life and sometimes we can't do what we wan only what we must. It is a big change and I completely understand you being nervous.
adamlycett
18 May 2011 #11
Save yourself the air fare you wont like it and it probably wont like you
GrzegorzK
18 May 2011 #12
Don't expect the same treatment as in the U.S. People will look at you like you are an alien, and your husband will probably be either made fun of or questioned for dating/marrying a black girl and why he couldn't find a Polish girl. In smaller cities and towns I would be more worried about violence then in bigger cities, but even in bigger cities it can still happen. But that depends on where and what time of day you travel. I would definately stay away from bars and even worse don't go with your husband or he will likely end up getting into a fight. If you stay away from bad areas you should be ok. It would be worse like 10 or 20 years ago, but now you should be fairly safe, Polish people keep up with the world news and are more educated now ever before so most should be friendly and treat you just as a regular person. Just don't come to Poland with that typical American black attitude expecting people to welcome you and kiss your feet just because you are black and that you had a hard life because you are black and ancestors were slaves. Polish people have had harder life then you from Nazi and Soviet invasions and don't deal with bullshit. My suggestion is to be humble, be polite, be quiet, and be respectful. If you come to Poland with an arrogant attitude like you are better then everyone then people will spit on you... literally.

Don't expect Polish people to adapt to you. You adapt to us and our culture and you'll be ok. I'm telling you because I am Polish and living in America and I know how Polish people think because I am polish. If you start trying to convert people or criticize their religion or life you will be met with strong opposition and since 99% of Poland is polish people and 99% are Catholic
Pinching Pete - | 667
18 May 2011 #13
Polish people have had harder life then you from Nazi and Soviet invasions and don't deal with bullshit.

This is damn true. Good post. What's more, Africans SOLD their own people to the slave trade. Something a lot American blacks conveniently leave out.
GrzegorzK
18 May 2011 #14
On a positive note, there is lots of nice things in Poland. We have rich history and culture, lots of nice castles and legends, and zielona gora is in a nice area, mountains are not too far away if you like hiking, fishing or skiing. Lots of cool things to learn and see, this will be good for you and your marriage, i'm sure your husband will appreciate his wife learning about his home country.
WhyMedSchool 6 | 35
18 May 2011 #15
Living in Poland can be a real huge pain in the ass. There are no words to describe how bad the bureaucracy is - I have seen people reduced to tears by it. You will go crazy for the first while trying to sort everything out. When it comes to Polish people you will find they are either extremely friendly and open, or the exact opposite. They don't try to hide their feelings, and if they are an ******* on the inside, they will show it on the outside - and this goes from your everyday thug on the street to the cashier in your local grocery store. Don't be surprised by the attitude, rather expect it. Also, you will get a lot of looks and that is also something to prepare for. Best of luck, I hope it works out.
s2good2 1 | 72
18 May 2011 #16
Hello there! I just moved to Poland about 6 weeks ago I also have a thread almost about the same thing. Lots of good posts there for the person moving to Poland. You should check it out. It is under "Everyday Life" and titled something like $3000 - $4000. and month easy enough to find. Anyway, I moved to Gdynia with my wife for almost the same reason. If you ever want to talk .. just shoot over an email! good luck!!!
EdWilczynski
18 May 2011 #17
There are no words to describe how bad the bureaucracy is

I guess you haven't tried living in Switzerland or Belgium then.

The bureaucracy I have faced in Poland has been nothingcompared to the aforementioned.

In Poland, I have had to do everything from register births, passports, ID cards, change of address etc etc

NEVER EVER faced the pain and torture I suffered in Switzerland or Belgium. Christ on a bike, I nearly got back in my car and headed straight back to Warsaw after just 3 hours in the Commune in Belgium. 6 bleeding months it took me to get everything sorted.

Switzerland was like Belgium on steroids and they presented you with a stinking great big bill for everything.

Give me Polish bureaucracy everytime.
mrsn 1 | 9
18 May 2011 #18
Don't expect the same treatment as in the U.S. People will look at you like you are an alien, and your husband will probably be either made fun of or questioned for dating/marrying a black girl and why he couldn't find a Polish girl. In smaller cities and towns I would be more worried about violence then in bigger cities, but even in bigger cities it can still happen.

That is true no matter were you go when you are in an interracial relationship. We still get it in the States. I have had the pleasure of visting Poland this year and enjoyed it a great deal. You get more looks, stares and glares in the villages by most but some will treat you a normal human being. The cities are just like any other. My husband has been questioned about our relationship from friends, family and just Polish people in general. For the most part not all of his family seemed to care some friends but they have treated me with open arms and treat me as I have been in the family forever. On the other hand they are very mindful to watch others as and when are all out together as well. I am back in the states now and will make another trip either this summer or fall. So far things have been fine.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,446
18 May 2011 #19
Do you speak any Polish? Polish people in general appreciate when foreigners try to speak Polish, even if haltingly. They are unlike the French who despise anyone, esp. Americans, who mangles their sacred tongue.

I know it must be disconcerting or uncomfortable, but it's only natural that people may stare at something unfamiliar or exotic. A British tyre expert building a plant in a remote location of provincial China about 2 decades ago told me how people would crowd round and mothers would hold up their youngsters to give them a glimpse of 'pale-faced round eyes' walking down the street.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,454
18 May 2011 #20
There are no words to describe how bad the bureaucracy is - I have seen people reduced to tears by it.

I can tell you that in at least 90% of cases, it's their own fault.

I could tell you about a case of an American student deported. Why? He couldn't be bothered to sort out the Karta Pobytu - instead believing that because he was American, he had the right to stay as long as he wanted.

Poland's bureaucracy is nowhere near as bad as in some other countries - indeed, Poland is quite easy because every decision by a bureaucrat must be in accordance with the relevant law. Of course, many foreigners often think "oh, it's stupid, I won't do that" - and then walk straight into trouble as a result.

And ****, I have to go pay taxes for this month. Oh so bureaucratic to log into my online bank account account and press "transfer".
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
18 May 2011 #21
Poland's bureaucracy is nowhere near as bad as in some other countries - indeed, Poland is quite easy because every decision by a bureaucrat must be in accordance with the relevant law. Of course, many foreigners often think "oh, it's stupid, I won't do that" - and then walk straight into trouble as a result.

Or just hire some twit to do all the monkey work for you :)
antheads 13 | 366
18 May 2011 #22
Poland's bureaucracy is nowhere near as bad as in some other countries - indeed, Poland is quite easy because every decision by a bureaucrat must be in accordance with the relevant law.

You are clueless bout poland. Yes the immogration stuff is o.k, but try starting your own business in poland then come back and talk to me about beurocracy.
cheesymac 4 | 61
18 May 2011 #23
You'll be safer in Poland with Polish people, then you would with black people in America. Believe that!!!
Wroclaw Boy
18 May 2011 #25
You'll be safer in Poland with Polish people, then you would with black people in America. Believe that!!!

and why is that? do you think.

This thread is fantastic.
Havok 10 | 912
18 May 2011 #26
Hi Im a Black American moving to Poland with my Husband who was born and raised there. We have been married for 6 years and my husband has no family members in the States. He's been living in the States for 10 years and the only reason he stayed was me.

I'll give you my honest opinion.

- Poland is not a multicultural country so you're going to stick out, also, Polish people are very self conscious about appearances. Anything different from the ordinary draws extremely a lot of attention.

- Regardless of what you see here, only a tiny percentage of Polish speaks English. Learning Polish is really a must.
-Make sure you have a plan in case you need to come back to the US.
-Polish culture and life in general is significantly different from American, I think you will find a lot of things there shocking.
cheesymac 4 | 61
18 May 2011 #27
This thread is fantastic.

I don't get it?
Wroclaw Boy
18 May 2011 #28
Its fantastic to the point that you know what people are thinking but they cant actually write it because even they know how silly it would look in text and how badly they would be hammered.

You didnt answer my question.
cheesymac 4 | 61
18 May 2011 #29
i stick with my original thought...
it is safer in Poland with poles... then in black-America around blacks...
just make sure you have an appetite for Polish sausage like WROCLAW BOY

Less of the personal insults please
Wroclaw Boy
18 May 2011 #30
it is safer in Poland with poles... then in black-America around blacks...

Thats true IMO and nobody is denying that, but what are the reasons behind it?

just make sure you have an appetite for Polish sausage like WROCLAW BOY

whats that got to do with anything? and why the capitals.


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