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Polish child maintenance, possible Irish father, Polish mother

la_esperanza 1 | 4
28 Mar 2018 #1
hi all, about 10 years ago, i posted something along the lines below. Unfortunately I cannot find the original post:

Bottom line is - i feel this girl is quite calculating, she has no consideration for me or my feelings, she sees me as a source of funds, i want to get this over and done with and pay some monthly ammount - but i dont want to be ripped off. i am aware of my responsibility to pay something. I am not trying to escape this. Any thoughts? Also if any polish people are on here - i would be interested on what you think of as a "fair" ammount to be paid per month?

at this moment, I havent paid anything as i am still not sure the child is mine or not. I have been in and out of court the last few years here in Ireland, and now the case is back to poland, its been split into two, one is to establish paternity , the other is reduction in the amount to pay. I have been assigned legal aid in poland, two seperate "lawyers" between the two cases. I have to say , one of the lawyers doesnt speak english, so all is sent to me in polish and i try my best to use an english / polish online traslator, but as you can imagine , some stuff gets lost in translation, i have been referred to as " the lord" in some of the docs (after the translation) ,the other female lawyer, does not want to really help me at all it seems, I get one line emails, when i ask for clarification, i get a reply like " Read the email!!!!"

Anyway , i was sent the minutes of the first case , to reduce the maintenance payments. I could only see the mothers side of the story, nothing about how she voluntarily exited ireland after she got pregnant , and that how she has allergies and needs to holiday by the coast once a year. It also says the cost to raise a child in Poland is now over 2000 pln per month (perhaps this is true? all countries have rising child care costs) , also the minutes stated , that the 200 euros per month is not enough and needs to be more. I am a qualified IT engineer and my potential to make money is much higher!!!! Finally it states, I am doing a deliberate avoidance of income , so as to give her nothing.

I know a lot of you will scorn this, but since she did a runner, I hit the bottle and am unable to keep a job down. i am in and out of rehab and living with my 84 year old mother, my wife has left me, my car is sold, all i have is the shirt on my back. I get about 760 euros per month on the social welfare, i have offered the court that I will pay 100 euros per month to her from this , i have no house or property that can be ceased/. I have a feeling that the polish judge wont accept this, even though now it is backdated 10 years, i owe about 30000 in back dated support. but what can i do? Will a european arrest warrant be issued? even though i have nothing to give her?

the case will be heard on the 11th of april this year to see if i can enforce paternity. how does it work if i dont have the money to cover the DNA test?

I know i am unlucky , i dont think most Polish women are this stereotype that is portrayed , but for any guys reading this that might contemplate a child with a polish girl, make sure you know her very very well before you do . Its ruined my life.

Atch 23 | 4,043
29 Mar 2018 #2
I am a qualified IT engineer and my potential to make money is much higher!!!!

That's how it works under Polish law. The court can base their judgement not on what you earn but on what you COULD earn. I know, it's ludicrous. They also don't have to take into account income versus living expenses. Having said that as you live with your mother, they would consider that you have an income of over 3,000zł per month and don't pay rent so you can easily afford to pay 1,500 per month in child support.

i owe about 30000 in back dated support. but what can i do? Will a european arrest warrant be issued? even though i have nothing to give her?

You have two issues here, the money you already owe on foot of the previous judgement and the future payments. As you have the upcoming DNA test, I wouldn't worry about being arrested. Even in Poland where the law can be very weird and unfair compared to Ireland, they'll probably give you leeway until that's dealt with. But if paternity is established you will continue to owe that money plus interest. You're still not likely to be extradited as you're Irish, but at some point it will be put in the hands of a Bailiff for collection and in theory he could apply to the Irish courts to have the judgement enforced. But I would say cross that bridge if or when you come to it. As far as I know if it goes to the Bailiff, your ex who is the plaintiff in the case, states what she wants done : A) a lean on your salary B) property seized, or C) jail. She's not likely to want to see you in jail as that means there's no way she'll get any money.

As to the amount of future payments, they will probably expect you to pay around 1,000zł per month, so about 250 euros. But the most important thing is to get the DNA test. How much does it cost? You really need to get the money together for that somehow if you want to get your life back on track. To be honest, you should have had it done years ago when this all started.

You can overcome the drink problem. Others have done it. You can do it too. You have a good profession and can re-train, update your skills etc. There are loads of free back to education courses/opportunities in Ireland. You can get back in to the workforce and take control of your life again. You can't just give up and say ' I'll keep breathing for the next thirty or forty years, but my life is over, I'll just sit and stare at the four walls'. You're entitled to some happiness but you have to make it for yourself.
OP la_esperanza 1 | 4
29 Mar 2018 #3
Hi Atch , thanks for the reply . Well the enforcernent order already came through years ago , and I have to go to court here approx every six months to show the judge if my circumstances have changed .

Regarding what I earn here on social welfare , well living expenses here's are not so low , for example car insurance here has trebled In the last few years , so I pay 100 euros per month for that , road tax 60 per month , fuel etc , the car Is the biggest drain on me , but I live in a remote place with no public transport , so is a necessity .

Regarding the DNA , yes I should have done this years ago . Anyway it's in motion now .

Alcohol issue will hopefully get fixed soon .

Dirk diggler 10 | 4,602
29 Mar 2018 #4
Don't have kids you can't afford thats the lesson here.
OP la_esperanza 1 | 4
29 Mar 2018 #5
Dirk , your missing the point , she gets pregnant and does a runner , I never had the chance to be a father, do you really think it's fair ? Fly once a month to Poland ( if I got visitation rights to see a child that doesn't speak English , into a hostile environment , where the mother only sees me as a means to financial gain ?)
Dirk diggler 10 | 4,602
29 Mar 2018 #6
Fair? Life isnt fair. Naw a woman could never use a child for financial gain. No way not in this world.

Wait till the kid grows up a little. Otherwise youre just giving yourself an ulcer. She'll be crying when she doesn't have money for perfumes and miniskirts. And I bet she's trying to reel the next sucker i mean father as we speak
OP la_esperanza 1 | 4
29 Mar 2018 #7
Dirk , good advice . Unfortunately I have taken it too personal and anger has taken over my life . Well , once the dna is done , at least I won't mind paying something , what ever I can .
Dirk diggler 10 | 4,602
29 Mar 2018 #8
Ya bro youre taking it way too personal. I get it tho she screwed you over so you're mad and it hurts because she's using your flesh and blood as leverage. The kid will be fine though. That kind of woman will always find a beta male soy boy to raise that kid and hell probably end up being a half decent father. That's the game.
kaprys 3 | 2,249
29 Mar 2018 #9
If you haven't paid anything for 10 years, it's hard to accuse her of being after your money. There must have been a reason why she decided to leave when she was pregnant. Why would anyone decide to be a single mother with no financial support from the child's father for ten years? I have some guesses having read your post but I don't know.

First of all, get sober and get a job regardless of the dna test results for the sake of yourself and your mother. If the child is yours, take the responsibility. Get to know him/her but keep in mind, the child won't be happy to see a tipsy foreigner who claims to be his/her daddy. It will take a lot of time to be accepted.
mafketis 36 | 10,761
29 Mar 2018 #10
it's hard to accuse her of being after your money

just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't her plan....
kaprys 3 | 2,249
29 Mar 2018 #11
It's true ... but ten years?
OP la_esperanza 1 | 4
29 Mar 2018 #12
All she started seeking the money as soon as baby born . Anyway thanks for the input .
G (undercover)
29 Mar 2018 #13
I get about 760 euros per month on the social welfare

In IE, can't you make twice as much just putting things on the shelves in the supermarket ? I don't believe you're such a mess due to alco that you couldn't handle that kind of job. Sorry, but I would also assume that you are doing some programming as "unofficial subcontractor" and just take the income "under the table".
Agnieszka112 - | 6
15 Apr 2018 #14
You very bad Irishman! You not pay your Polish princess! You also very big lawyer, you say your

"car is sold"

you then say

"car is your main expense"

, which is it? You are an Irish lawyer just like my ex Irish K***a lawyer who told me he love me and marry me. He make me pregnant and two years later, he ran back to Irish gypsy mama in Irlandia. He not pay for daughter. He now a coward, hiding somewhere, he fear me, he know I chop off his little ogórek if I get him. I wish you jail and pay money long time. I tell you now it is 2000 PLN every month to raise child. You IT man, you can make much zloty here to give poor ex princess. Please, I tell you, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Give money you spend on beer to poor Polish princess and chop off your ogórek i pomidory.
Joker 2 | 2,567
15 Apr 2018 #15
he fear me, he know I chop off his little ogórek if I get him

Ouch! No wonder he drove off. lol
mafketis 36 | 10,761
15 Apr 2018 #16
You are an Irish lawyer just like my ex Irish K***a lawyer

Is it just me or is this Marino's newest incarnation?
Atch 23 | 4,043
16 Apr 2018 #17
The usage of English sounds more like an irate Chinese that as it may..........

Her Irish ex who got her pregnant and ran off sounds fascinating because although he is a lawyer, according to our kochana Agnieszka, in a previous post which she's obviously forgotten about:

he only work for cash in Ireland and is not paying tax

These lawyers, they know all the tax dodges :))
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,861
16 Apr 2018 #18
for all we know, she left when she was pregnant because you were an abusive arsehole.
Two sides to every story, woman haters. '
Agnieszka112 - | 6
16 Apr 2018 #19
@Atch I not understand, he is big lawyer, he lied to me. He said he love me and marry me but this was lie so he is lawyer. Yes he work, he make buildings in ireland.

Sorry very my english not so good very. So your post not make very sense to me. Nice day!
kaprys 3 | 2,249
17 Apr 2018 #20
Come on. These are not mistakes Polish people make. Liar/lawyer difference when it comes to spelling is not a mistake a Pole would make. Anyway your English was way better in older posts. But since it's got so bad, why don't you post in Polish? Or on a Polish forum? :)

You should consult a lawyer. ^^
Atch 23 | 4,043
17 Apr 2018 #21
I think you've picked up a bit of a Dublin accent. Does this sound familiar?

"Would yiz ever gerrrup the yeard missus,ya have me head melted so ya have. Spear me, bleedin' spear me. Oil box the bleedin' head off ya" etc etc and so on. Lovely people.

I don't think your English is that bad:

I am a Polish woman who had brief relationship with Irish man who got me pregnant. After two years he left me completely.

Almost perfect, you even used an article.

is it worth going after him? Can he be forced back to Poland for court?

Perfect. Many Poles, even those with good English would say 'is it worth to go'? They have difficulty with gerunds and infinitives.

Any updates on this situation here?

Vocabulary sounds promising, quite advanced, updates indeed, not just plain old news.

Your English is so good it's time to start learning Irish. You want your daughter to speak her other native tongue I would imagine. Maith an cailín, Agnieszka abú! :))

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