Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Ozi Dan

I checked everything with my solicitor including the wording before posting to be sure. Also I have kept everything vague and unattributable, that is why when people have asked for more details I haven't provided them. Also had a friend checking my replies. Thanks for looking out for me!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Natasia

Where do I begin... well I think a very very big thank you is involved! As soon as I read your post I could see parallels with what you were describing and what was happening. Just to double check I immediately texted a good Polish friend of mine in the UK who knows all about the situation (not connected to my ex) and asked for her comments and she said pretty much spot on.

Still thinking about the post and the implications of what you have said, but thank you so much for telling me what to expect. I will now try to sleep more soundly having the courage of my convictions.

Dziękuję bardzo!!!!!!!!!!!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Is that honestly the best you can do!

LMAO!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

f stop


I don't know because you don't seem to have the courage to say!

You are just reverting to base insults, you are not an intelligent poster, merely a troll with an agenda.

You will never understand and you will never win an argument for exactly the same reason.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

If you're talking about me, Ant63 or Zimmy can you be more specific so we can say what we think of your twisted warped opinion! I don't think any of us are prepared to take your nonsense!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Patrycja


A court order is enforce that prevents the mother from removing the child to Poland until all legal issues are resolved. She wants money, then doesn't, then wants money, then doesn't, all on her terms at the moment. Confused, well so am I.


Who say's I haven't done that. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I have tried various means. I don't want to go into too much detail about my situation as if she came to this form she maybe very hurt that I am discussing it in public if she could identify herself. I don't want to hurt her sensibilities, so have kept everything deliberately vague. I am in a situation that I don't understand, and my friends don't understand, so have come to this forum for general advice. I understand a bit about postnatal depression from other people's experiences, but other people suffer from depression and I have known some of these people. So as contentious as this may sound that does not excuse peoples actions, although I agree people may suffer from extreme cases which should be pitied more than they are vilified.


should be understanding to your side.[/quote]

Some people just don't want to talk, they just think they know best. I would sit down and discuss things for the sake of my child, but I can't force the other party to if their mind is made up.


Sorry British, that's why it has been difficult to post here. I just want to understand, but initially protect my child, then attempt to make things 'workable' between my ex and myself so that the child can have a happy childhood knowing both parents love them.

I hope you understand my motivations for posting on this forum a little better, and that I am trying to do the best for my child. However, I don't want to discuss anything further on this forum as everything I say seems to be treated with cynicism, attempts to criticise me, or just plain slander. Please do not take this as a reflection upon you that I don't want to discuss things here, but some of the posters here should really look within themselves and question what their motives are.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Patrycja


There is such a thing as casting an air of suspicion which this f stop poster seems to do on a very regular basis without any fact!


So f stop is hiding behind this and


So being psycho analysed, by someone who knows nothing, but hides behind this 'illusion of transparency'


You tell someone they are full of sh1t and that they are controlling, and how would you take that? It is not suggested, implied, or anything else, but just stated. So maybe you have different standards to me, but I generally tell people maybe this is the problem, not that they are full of sh1t or controlling if I want them to respond to me in a nice pleasant manner. My posts are purely defensive, as I have thanked people here who have been kind enough to suggest things, but when people start continuously casting doubts about my character I take that as offensive! This is why I won't use this forum for anything else than defending my character!

As for the DNA test I know that the child is mine and my ex's. I totally understand why you want to ask more questions, but this is solely about protecting the child and making sure that she has the right to have a 'Good Father' in her life, before anyone suggests anything else! There is a line that I don't want to cross in this post, as you can make up your own mind about me and my ex. However, just please try to assume that I am a good father she is a good mother and that communication has broken down. If it makes it easier on the communication front let's say neither side is at fault. Let us deal with the issue at hand a child having contact with both parents who are no longer together.

The reason I asked her to email me is so I can answer any questions that I consider slanderous directly and without delay. That is because I will not put up with someone trying to sneak anything in behind my back!

As for ANT63 he is attempting to defend me and speak up for himself in defence of what seems to be a highly slanderous onslaught by certain posters that is biased and deliberately provocative in making any right thinking man defend his integrity!

However, Patrycja I really appreciate your kind words and your understanding but my perceptions of this forum have been very badly jaded by the abuse I have received here and all the negative comments. I'm trying to be a good father and that's why I'm asking this question. It is very easy to be nasty to someone but incredibly difficult to tread the right line in trying to do the best thing for your child

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Dear f stop

I do not appreciate to be called an abuser! Who are you and who gives you the right to pass a judgement which is so untrue and slanderous?! Even more important how can you be so cold and calculative when saying that there are legitimate reasons for child and parent not to be reunited!! Are you the one and Almighty who knows it all ?! You keep asking what was the reason that my ex partner ran? Why do you assume she RAN and not just left as she got out of me what she wanted?! You saying I give no reason as to why she left…I do not give it because to be absolutely honest I have no clue as to why she acted the way she did. All I have are various hypothesises which in fact could be totally incorrect! I tend to deal in facts, not assumptions, wild guesses or extrapolating things from thin air!

I came to this forum to seek advice as found myself in a situation which is far beyond my comprehension and yet the first thing I encounter was abuse and slander from the very first post. You started by being all understanding and then just told me:

f stop: You are so full of sht. Put your money where your mouth is an start supporting your child instead of trying to figure out how to control her

Then you wonder why you get called an aggressive idiot. You crossed the line by being abusive, calling me a liar and saying I was controlling. You were simply being rude and don’t like it when you get called on that! You attempt to dress up your abuse as some sort of test is laughable and where I come from in the UK that is just being vulgar! There was nothing about Barney’s reference to cheque system being abused or indeed the fact that my solicitor had told me not to send cheques. You of course know better. My solicitor who is female and specialises in meditative family law of course knows nothing! There are other issues here surrounding what is going on, but I have deliberately concentrated on the main points as this forum is anonymous. Otherwise, I would see you in court with a couple women that I have dated in the past and I‘m still very good friends with, as my witnesses at your slander trial. To say that you have looked at everything from every possible angle is quite laughable. Do you realise that there is an increase in women who want to be single mothers in Poland and reject the fathers from being in their lives . This is just one example, but there are others. However, it is easier to go back to your own personal favourite of it being simply the man’s fault.

To say you thought the OP might be an abuser, as they minimises the pain that they have caused, denying they caused pain, and blaming the victim. I have discussed what happened in my relationship with my friends before coming to this forum, and have given them every detail. I will not share these details with you as this is a public forum and do not want to mention the mother’s name or the child’s. I have done things wrong in relationships, but who hasn’t. Still, I have never blamed my ex here. I came here to get general advise not be abused by people who once read a book on Psychoanalysis and think they know it all. If I was in your position I wouldn’t have started by being abusive I would have asked more questions and respected a person’s right to a degree of privacy, but I guess there is nothing like shooting from the hip, is there! You might not hit the target as you clearly haven’t, but what’s the difference if you can force everything into your own preconceived ideas.

I never insisted that I want to have some control in my child’s life, but thinking about it what is wrong with that, if I want my child to be brought up correctly. So you are telling me that I should not be with my child based on very limited information.

So in conclusion please take you amateur psychoanalysis elsewhere as you seem to have taken 2+2, and come up with a Billon! If ever I knew your name after you having called me an abuser I would happily sue you in court for liable and take you for everything you have. This is because I have absolutely nothing to hide! I no longer seek any advice on this forum, but now merely come here to defend myself against people who make up slanderous statements upon very little information.

Just for information please let me know when you are going to attempt to slander me again via email, rather than just trying to stab an honest man in the back like a coward.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Just checked into see if there were any useful suggestions, and I get met with slander!


Two different people who disagree with you!


I never asked for or required validation!


Who started being abusive, it was never you was it?


Also it could be nothing to do with her could it now, but I am just guessing that never entered your head.

Very easy to slander someone when they're not around, just glad I checked back in!

All pretty cheap low shots, but I have come to expect this from you. Get a life and realise that you really have problems in twisting this post to your own twisted ends! I really do think that you think I am your ex or something, but I am not I'm better than that!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

f stop

I'm not bothering to respond any more on this post and have removed all notifications as I now have all the information that I need on this subject.

Read back to yourself what you have just written, and you will see that you honestly sound like your 12 years old.


Good Luck, I think you need it!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


No I just have a notification that makes a sound on the laptop when you make a comment I won't tell you what I call it otherwise you might get upset, or in your case a lot! Haha!

So calm down and don't get too upset Honey, it takes practice to be funny, so keep trying! X

Owned! :-)

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


If a man were to hit a woman in anger that would be totally unacceptable and rightly so. However, if a woman does it sometimes allowances are made, say in the example of a cheating spouse!

You just can't make generalisations, each case is different. So if we could discuss things without generalisations here that would be a breathe of fresh air!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

It's taken you that long to come up with that comment.

Your projecting again, broken record!

It didn't know Zimmy when I first posted on here, but I can tell he has your number all the way!

Please come up with something better it's like shooting fish in a barrel honey! x

Stay on topic. Learn how to manage your own threads; read the forum rules.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


Of course I am so fragile, it has nothing to do with your bias which prohibits any meaningful discussion and your constant dredging up of the same old hackneyed sexist arguments which are so thinly veiled that it is laughable.

I don't think there is much woman hating here, or are you feeling threatened? Go on find me a study to prove otherwise!

So I either have a huge ego or I'm frightened, thank you Dr Freud for that most insightful piece of analysis. Just in case you didn't realise that was mocking sarcasm, sorry, but too funny!

It obviously has nothing to do with mocking your ridiculous view point which sees men as perpetrators of everything that goes wrong in the world. It is like a broken record!

I just can't take your posts seriously, sorry!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Let the man hating begin!

Oh sorry, when did it ever stop!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I am sorry Rozumiemnic, but I have to laugh. It is just the way in which men can't seem to be understood or have valid point here. So when it all becomes a bit too silly for words you have to laugh a little.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


The OP is getting on with what needs to be done.

Zimmy and Barney please keep up the good work. I really love the way you get them to put their heads in the noose and then skillfully kick the chair away.

My admiration gentlemen!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


Where have I ever sought approval here!

I have asked for advice in this forum because my ex is Polish and my child half Polish. So I guessed that someone must have gone through the same thing here or know someone who this has happened to.

As for washing my dirty laundry in public, what do you know about the situation apart from the basics, you don't know my name, my ex's name, where I live apart from being in the UK. You don't even know the sex of my child. I have kept everything deliberately vague and avoided specifics. So you know very little apart from me asking for advice.

'Deranged mind' etc, I believe that people are inherently good and want to help others, I know I do. However, I have never realised now many people do not have that same set of values, and just want to be abusive, opinionated, and generally just obnoxious.

Also I have clearly stated that I am willing to support my child, but you clearly ignore that as that doesn't fit into your agenda. As for your last comment about sterilisation, that is quite a national socialist idea isn't it for someone with such 'liberal attitudes.'

Maybe you now have you facts straight!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

f stop

You really are pathetic individual, my problems can be resolved, but I think you will have to live with yours for ever!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

f stop

I see your personal experiences are clouding your judgement! So to you I'm just another useless guy running from responsibility and just making excuses when I'm trying to do things properly. I really understand it now, if you disagree with something you start to get angry and abusive. You obviously don't discuss the facts or see another's point of view.

You started off being reasonable, then just couldn't help yourself could you. Well good to know what type of person you are!

I may not be right all the time, and may get things wrong, but I'm trying to do the right thing by child!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Ant63

Thanks for the pointer on the website, and I have dropped you a mail.


I absolutely agree, but I don't think some people understand that!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Reservoir

That is not her decision to make as to whether she wants me to be the father or not, as that is a statement of fact. Unless this was the immaculate conception of course! For the same reason I may not trust her, but if I had custody I wouldn't stop her seeing her own child! it's about what is best for the child not one of the parents who has an issue with the other one!

I was advised not use cheques by my solicitor for legal reasons.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

f stop

You have gone from being a reasonable person to one who is just being abusive and stupid!

Things have to be done properly and I have to maintain records of supporting this child otherwise she can claim that I haven't supported them at all. That is the bottom line!

Correct child support is not dependent on seeing the child at all, but when she asks for the money in cash. Then if she should choose to claim that I have not paid her anything then the child believes I never cared or supported them! This has happened in so many cases! The only way things can be done is through bank to bank transfers. Any solicitor will tell you that you are opening yourself up to trouble by simply giving cheques that the mother denied she received.

So why does my ex refuses the bank to bank transfers that is the question you should be asking!!!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

f stop

Why have you suddenly turned into an aggressive idiot. My money is ready and waiting to be paid across, and I have no desire to control my ex, but just want to make sure that she doesn't deny she received the money, as that could never happen could it!

As rozumiemnic said earlier


So I just give in to blackmail! We all know that once we do that it just continues!

f stop you just keep get the wrong end of the stick!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


f stop

Where did that come from, and don't worry you haven't offended me? I am not dreaming and this is not about me and my ex, but about our child. My solicitor (lawyer) is one of those that specialise in mediation between parties, so they would recommend a non- legal path if they thought it was best as they get paid either way. However, in this case steps have to be taken and the child protected from being stopped from seeing their father. As for the cheque idea that is a good one, but there is too much of a chance to say that the cheque got lost in the post etc as I had considered this idea previosly. Unfortunately this is a situation where everything has to be done absolutely correctly to safeguard the child's welfare and best interests.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi f stop

My first reply after being shocked by that question was an honest 'I don't know', that just ended the conversation with my ex getting angry.

Since then conversations about money to support our child have just deteriorated into her getting angry again. So I have just kept the money in the bank and have asked repeatedly how she would like the money paid. I have to say that I have been told after these initial conversations not to simply give her cash at the door as she can deny that I have made any attempt to pay for my child. It all seems very pathetic to me but I have been told been told that things have to be very black and white on paper to ensure that I can be seen as taking my obligations to my child seriously.

Hi Gustav

I agree with all of the points that you have made.

I should point out that this was a planned pregnancy and that marriage was very seriously discussed and going to happen, and we wanted to be together. The pregnancy happened unfortunately before we got married, but I didn't see that as a problem until my ex decided that she no longer needed or wanted me and would prefer to be a single mother. That decision after having talked about marriage and wanting to be together was a total shock. To my own personal morality if you have a child with someone you stand by them, I don't agree with the morality of the sixities and seventies that eroded the family. Unfortunately in my case things came along in the wrong order, but I still wanted to be with my child, my now ex in a loving and happy family, and give my ex the security of marriage.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Rozumiemnic

I understand what you mean now about involving social services, but whilst there is a court case in progress to allow me to get visitation and parental rights I am sure social services will not be willing to get involved. I'm prepared to pay for my child, but I still don't think she'll give me access. It is unfortunately all about what my ex wants.

Hopefully things will get better!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Reservoir

When you ask to see your child and her response is 'what's it worth in terms of money?' I think that gives you an idea. Sorry I can't be any more specific.

I should also add that was her very first response, nothing about the child whatsoever when I asked how the child was.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Polishmamma

After your previous post I have nothing further to discuss with you!

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Hi Rozumiemnic

Thank you, I just hope I do the best I can and don't fail my child.