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Posts by butterflylizard  

Joined: 28 Sep 2011 / Female ♀
Last Post: 29 Sep 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 13
From: UK
Speaks Polish?: No
Interests: Martial arts, Egyptology

Displayed posts: 14
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butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

Hi,
I am English and have just been moved from a small village to a more urban area. My neighbours are Polish and Slovak. I have never has neighbours from Europe before. I am on here because I am concerned about my neighbours, but recognise that this may be a prejudice that I did not know I have. I hope I am not prejudice, but feel that perhaps my ignorance of alternative culture maybe causing this. Please don't take offence I am writing on here because I want to overcome this and understand ways different to my own. When we moved in our neighbours, who do not speak English well, insisted on helping and I mean insisted and then charged us, which is not my way. When I help people I help if offered unless of course I am at work whereby I am contracted to be paid. I have no problem with paying for help, but feel this should have been clarified in the first instance. They do play music loudly and talk loudly, but in fairness all noise is stopped by 9pm. Also I said 'nice to meet you' to one of the gents two doors up to which he replied 'OK.' I am very paranoid that the neighbours are going to con us or burgle us and I know this prejudice is within me. I worry too as the whole community around us know or are related to eachother and there are people in and out. I would like very much for someone who is from Europe to talk to me about this. Am I right to be worried? Do they mistrust me too? I want to overcome this and get on in the new community but we are the only English in our road and I feel overpowered by this different culture. Its like permanently being on holiday. Thankyou. Please do not be unpleasant in response to this thread I know how it sounds but it has taken a lot to come on here and try to gain some understanding.
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Applying for a Polish visitor's visa from the UK? [7]

I don't know exactly how easy either move is, but I have visited Poland and would not want to move from there to London. There are much nicer areas than London
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

No..... I have graduated with a Masters, I have five children, married and in my 30s I also own a business. I live in a nice size house simply in an area that is different to where I have previously resided.
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

~;Thanks it was my slovak neighbours who charged for help. Things are not tense at the moment they all smile, but seem abrupt in the way they talk. Is this usual? Are Polish people Catholic or anotherdenomination on the whole?
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

Thats right I am in England in a multi-cultural urban area where our family is the only English on our road and we're not wealthy lol. I was upset when I said nice to meet you and he said OK as it seemed well rude .
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

I am a woman. I am not well off by any means and nor are my neighbours. We were moved due to exceptionnal circumstances (domestic violence) with no say in our move.

My Slovak neighbours live in one house that appears to be split into three flats and all know eachother, then beyond them are several houses of polish people. They seem well presented and by no means uneducated. I think they work in construction. My slovak neighbour likes cider (a lot) and he has a friend an older gentleman who visits. I guess in the UK we have become very nuclear in terms of family and don't have this community where everyone knows everyone. When my mum was little there was a community culture but us brits have lost that along with the extended family which is a shame.
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

so what seems conventionally rude to us is not rude .... I am a very keep myself to myself person but would like to feel that i can cope with the differences. Have you any advice on how to maintain or build trusting acquaintances
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

Yes I agree...I have had some really nasty English neighbours in the past. Next door and beyond always smile at me and i know the language barrier is difficult. I have been looking at learning basic polish online, I speak other languages and have recognised some words and trends at a brief glance. I am not the sort to visit neighbours not because I am antisocial but more so because I have a lot of family, work, school runs etc so am often tied up. I am recognising stereotypical prejudices in myself that I am not happy with as this is not the person I thought I was. Are Polish people generally Catholic? or other? I dont think its fake I think its the british etiquette instilled in us from an early age here .
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

this is a language difference I guess not deliberate ethnocentricism; I never know whether to call myself british or english as no one seems to say english... and european in english colloquial speaking means on the continent or mainland as opposed to in Britain, it is a linguistic oddity. It is not meant in any capacity other than that. I have no idea what a house of the rising son is, but the slovak next door are a family with children who attend the local school. There is mum and her partner the children and possibly grandchildren and i think (i may be wrong) a second family as the house is divided into maisonettes but they all share a garden and entrance. I see what your saying about the language as one bloke asked for a cigarette and said 'give me a cigarette please' where as we would say 'please may i have...'
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

Our slovak neighbours are tanned as is the czech guy and yes my dad paid him initially so he come back next day and waited by gates, so perhaps a chancer? They are a family I am sure as she is a mum lots of children and they are tanned slovaks and he is czech mums partner, then they have a family living above them and then the next three houses are polish. So far they have all smiled but very few speak english so it kind of makes it awkward. I have as said been looking at polish websites.
butterflylizard   
28 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

Hi, yes I am English honestly, I am doing my Doctorate so I do hope my use of language is not that bad :) I have a bit of an issue with my keyboard and yes I assumed that all poles were catholic, however I am pretty sure Poland was hit by the reformation as Coppernicus spoke much more freely than Galileo! I was looking more for confirmation than correction. Thanks for the advice and with regards to the move on the first day our neighbours helped us and my Dad gave them money. On the second day they helped us and actually asked for 'A drink' i.e money to buy a drink as they did not want a beverage in the house, however both he and his son have helped me a few times with the gate and the lock simply to be neighbourly. I probably would not take pictures and upload in anyway as I would not like it done to me at all. To clarify our neighbours say they are Slovakian, their neighbour is Czech (maisonettes) and three doors thereafter are Polish families and possibly Polish students. I have spoken to them and the Polish people were very chatty about who was who on their side of the fence and other chat. The Czech and Slovak families have black hair and tanned skin. The girls have long black and wavy hair. They always smile. The Polish lads are fair haired and skinned. I have not noticed any interaction between the Polish people and the Czech and Slovak neighbours although the Czech and Slovak neighbours mix with one another. I do wonder if it is as daunting for them having a large English family next door too as the man who visits (who I now know is one of the family's friend) I was standing in the garden and he told me what he was doing as if he thought I was wondering. They do say hello and I think both of us (our families) are more used to one another. I lived sometime ago a few miles up the road and my neighbours were primarily Asian and they become friendly and invited the girls and I to see the Mosque which was very nice. I think perhaps after reading and listening to negative stereotypes I have developed a fear of others further (and I didn't think about this) we have lived in such houses that for a good 4 years I have had no noticeable neighbours, which probably makes this harder as now I have loads!!!! I have to say though I do like the music next door play. I am pleased to read such a diverse mixture of advice it really is helping.

Pole thinks. OMG what she/he want again? Is she/he a nut/gay?

This is funny...made me smile lol
butterflylizard   
29 Sep 2011
UK, Ireland / Culture shock (my neighbours in the UK are Polish and Slovak) [88]

I spent a lot of time in America and I see where you are coming from as the phrase 'Have a nice day!' used to get tedious. I do see the language similarity much like similarities in French, Spanish and Italian. I hope it does stay fine there are so many diverse people here (where I live) and I am not exaggerating when I say we are the only family of English origin, but I guess its good to learn about other people.