Life / My experience in Poland 15 years ago as an American trying to live and work there. [149]

Very nice writing, I'm sure this book will be a success!

Just like somebody mentioned before it won't do Poland any good, 'cause many people will overlook the fact it's about how it was 15 years ago. But then again, had it changed so much since middle '90ties, people like me would be home, in Poland. I run away 3 months after getting my master's degree, and it's rather late, most people leave much sooner... it's not as depressing and crazy as it was 15 years ago, but it still feels like living two blocks away from the end of the world sometimes. I hope your book will be sold online?

Life / The Polish Dream - move out from Poland as fast as possible [74]

If I may add a dew words as a freshly emigrated female who's graduated more or less recently, greed really isn't the biggest issue. Fear of unemployment is.

Polish universities are not only completely unrelated to working reality, they are detached from reality as it is. That being said, a part-time job during university years, something most likely natural to most of you, to Polish students is hard to get at the very least, and if you have any ambition to do well at the uni - pretty much impossible. The hours are just too random. Most of Polish graduates come out of the uni holding a master's degree and no working experience AT ALL, save for whatever they've managed to do during summer breaks, or the last year. I've been browsing job offers in Poland for some time before leaving, and I'll tell you one thing: at least 2 years of experience in the field is a basic requirement for every and any job. There's an old Polish joke about an ideal secretary - 18 years old with 20 years experience. Sadly, it's very real.

Right now, In Japan, I'm working two part-time jobs AND going to school, and by some magic force still manage to go out with friends from time to time. I buy my groceries in cheap supermarkets, live with two flatmates and hardly manage to keep much from one month to another, but I get to pay for my school by myself, cover rent, living expenses, and from time to time go to the cinema or eat out, without taking a broken zloty from my mother. And this is pretty much the only thing that counts. I don't expect to get rich, I wouldn't study philosophy if I did, but the sole idea of being 25 y.o. and a parasite living on my mother's single salary... it's bad enough to drive me to the other side of the globe.

As a foreigner in a country of xenophobia pretty much acknowledged by law, and openly preferring male workers, I still have a better chance of getting a decent job here next year than I would in Poland.

Now please, tell me one good reason to go back to Poland, other than failing to extend my visa.

Life / All Saints' Day in Poland - Commemoration or Carnival? [44]

For those of you guys who speak about cremation - it doesn't mean you don't land on a cemetery. In Poland, keeping ashes at home is illegal (at least it still has been last time I checked), and most likely so is disposing of them (correct me on that if I'm wrong), so basically the only difference is that you get to buy a cheaper coffin for burning, and spend the remaining money (or more) on an urn that, consequently, lands in a grave, on a cemetery, under a tombstone.

As for candy floss and toys... as long as you manage to get the permit (which by the way I'm almost sure those people did not bother to apply for), you are free to sell whatever you want wherever you want. It's the fact they actually have customers that I find funny - it's a very, very nice example of Polish catholic hypocrisy... but my little, condemned, pagan soul is pleased, as it means even after over a thousand of years of christian indoctrination, there's an undying spirit of Dziady left. Oh yes, give us some more time and freedom, and we'll move the feast back from our homes to the cemeteries...

...ok, that was a joke. But still, rather than disgusting, I find the whole situation kind of funny.

Love / Fell in love; I need to go back to Poland for 2 months - what to say at work (UK) [50]

Dear Danka100!

First of all, calm down. I mean it.

Then get yourself a bottle of vodka or whatever is your poison, prepare a glass, take a deep breath, and ask yourself a few questions.

Whose life are you living? Yours or his?
Why is his job more important than yours?
Why should you believe this is the only time his business is more important than yours?
What do you know about him anyway? List 50 items, include no more than 10 likes/dislikes
Exactly how long do you know him?
What chances do you have of getting a decent job in Poland, with or without him?
Do you WANT to live in Poland, without him?
Do you WANT to give up your current job you say you've worked so hard to get?
Do you absolutely adore his parents? (if he wants to take care of them so badly, expect one big family sooner rather than later)
List 1o of his biggest flaws.

Simply answering those questions should help you. But in case you still have doubts, do it again, following this routine:
Every time you feel like including words and phrases like "i don't know/i'm not sure", "fate", "but i love him", "once in a lifetime", "we will SOMEHOW sort it out" or "shouldn't worry in advance" in your answer, take a shot. Take additional shot for every of the 50 items and 10 flaws you failed to come up with.

If by the end of this game you're not drunk, you can go.

On a side note, personally I would wait at least half a year longer anyway. There's internet, there are cheap flights, and you're still young, do the favor to your future kids and check the potential daddy thoroughly.

Language / The Future of Polish Language [179]

We might live in a world where English is necessary right now, but...

Latin used to be European meta-lang for centuries, it has infected all European languages, Polish among them. With hand-writing as it's only media tool! French has been in fashion for quite a time too, and there's a number of words Polish 'inherited' from that time. Years of German and Russian influence are not to be forgotten.

So we have an era of English now. If you look at it from a bigger perspective, it's not such a big deal. Somehow we still polonize the foreign terms over time. Do you know that "keczup" has actually been proclaimed a valid form? Our parents still write "ketchup" and some of them pronounce "keczap". Do you know that the word "kobieta" used to be very offensive? What we consider deterioration, is in many cases (sadly impossible to recognize except post factum) simply the language being alive. The moment Polish stops changing, stops adapting the words and simplifying grammar, that's the moment we should start worrying about it.

As for English domination... might continue for another century and so forth, but might as well not, given the current geopolitical situation. I wouldn't be surprised if my grandchildren spent their pocket money on advanced Chinese courses...

Language / which 'if' (jeśli, gdyż or gdyby) use in conversation? [13]

Kamil_pl


"jakby" may not be flat out incorrect but I think it's a regionalism of some sort, 'cause I've never heard anyone speaking like that.

***

Guys, if you have problems using "gdyby", try to remember this sentence:

"Gdyby ciocia miała wąsy, to by była wujkiem".
(If auntie had a mustache, she would be an uncle)

It's a saying Polish often use when they've had enough of someone's unreal or multilayer suppositions. The other side might have been using "jeśli/jeżeli" all the time, but we just started feeling the whole idea has too many conditions to be met.

Polish may mix up the uses of "jeśli" and "gdyby", (I know a lot of people who use gdyby as first conditional, just to express a possibility, and not a fixed plan) but if you want to use "gdyby" safely, limit it to sentences resembling the auntie with mustache case.

Love / Possibility of Marriage with a Polish lady [96]

Dear Shekofte!

It's not impossible to marry a Polish girl, but you should think twice about it.

Polish don't know much about your religion and culture, we only hear about it through news or gossip magazines, and these are never nice reports. So even if you're a sweet guy, you must be prepared for that most likely all her friends and her family will initially be against you, and you'll have to work hard to earn their acceptation.

If you actually find a girl in Poland who wants to keep her virginity until marriage, she will most likely be a dedicated Catholic.

Polish girls are strong and independent. She won't listen to you, she will keep her friends (guys too!) after you get married, she will go out on her own, and if you want her to come to live with you in Iran, basically either there will be a hell broken lose at home everyday, or your Iranian friends will look down on you because "you can't keep your wife in line".

All in all, it's not impossible to marry a Polish girl, but life after marriage will be hard unless you're ready to sacrifice half of what you believe - in exchange for her sacrificing a half too. Can you do that?

Love / Possibility of Marriage with a Polish lady [96]


you're welcome. incidentally, I'm a miss, not a mrs ;)

Love / What do Asian boys think about Polish girls? :) (and vice versa) [150]


I wouldn't go that far, in all cases I know or ever heard of (and there were several) the worst that happened was aunties whinnying over Sunday afternoon tea and cake that "she went on and married that guy who can't speak a word of Polish, and ohhh, how are the kids going to look like!" since mixed kids are usually cute, and most of the "exotic" husbands learn to say "dzien dobry" and "dziekuje", sooner or later the issue dies natural death.

religion may turn out to be a much much bigger problem! Polish don't know Muslims, for most of them Islam almost equals Arabic countries that in turn equal mistreating women and terrorism. that's what you should take into account, not your skin color. ;)

Love / What do Asian boys think about Polish girls? :) (and vice versa) [150]

well then, the only question that remains is if your girl's family is educated ;) and if it doesn't seem to be, if you can provide the lacking knowledge...

all in all, what seems to put off most Polish in Asians is that to Polish, Asian people often appear as having double standards. While you are trying your best to show good decorum in front of her, she will take it as your true and only face, and if you turn out to be a different person in your family life, she will take it as if you have lied to her!

Of course Polish do differentiate between official and private behavior too, but it's to much lesser extent. The more serious your relationship gets, the more "private" self you are expected to reveal, REGARDLESS of the fact if you're already married or not even planning. I think being 3rd generation living in UK you probably won't have problems of this sort, but still it is a known issue, and the reason for most breakups and divorces, so you might as well remember ;)

Love / Polish men are complete doormats (especially after they get married) [125]

honestly?..

A lot of Polish men hate and fear responsibility, in any shape. Nowadays, some admit openly in front of people they would give up a lot if only they could go back to kindergarten, and spend the rest of their lives playing.

In turn, Polish women feel the pressure to prove that they are strong, independent, responsible, reliable, and whatnot, because it's really hard to find a job in Poland if you're a young woman (sometimes you will even get told things like 'I won't hire you, you will be pregnant in two years' flat out during the interview).

I'm not saying it's 100% like that, there are childish girls and responsible guys in Poland too, but the tendency is as above. And guys with Peter Pan complex tend to turn out the doormats after marriage, because they start to treat their wives as second mums, shoving all 'adult' responsibilities they can onto them.

Work / Education in Poland - system and structure [118]


Are we still talking about defending a Master's thesis in Poland?..

I graduated from UMK (Torun), and I must tell you, my defending was a full-fledged exam, including direct questions about my thesis, questions about bibliography I used, and general knowledge of the topic in a much wider spectrum than I actually wrote about. Definitely not a simple formality.


It depends on your field of study. The 'practical' ones will need you to present your practical skills, while the more theoretical subjects will not. However, in Polish universities, there isn't that much stress put on it. As I gather from most of the previous posts it is widely regarded as a flaw, but personally, I don't think it's that bad of a viewpoint.

My university professors used to say 'if you want practical skills, go to vocational schools'. It was a huge overstatement, but still there is some sense to it - Master's degree is neither a practical skill course nor a PhD. It doesn't make you a scientist, it mostly proves you have the grasp of the the topic, you can compile data, understand it, draw conclusions, present them and back them up in a form of a long text. It's great if your conclusions are somewhat practical, but forcing a Master's degree level studies into practical use where it doesn't naturally follow, mostly results in studies of 'how come bread always falls butter-side down' kind, and that, on Polish unis, is considered waste of time.

Master's degree is regarded as a basic 'outcome' of getting higher education in Poland (graduating with a license, although now actually possible, is still widely considered giving up half way). It's quite possibly the reason why any serious studies begin above that level, unless we're talking about some specialist, unpopulated divisions where every pair of hands counts. (I had a friend in astronomy division who started helping with her professors' studies as soon as she got the vibe of how to handle observatory equipment, because it needed constant attention and they had too little PhDs to manage)