Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

Infidelity is automatic grounds for divorce even in the eyes of the church. There is no reason for these women to feel like a failure because the failure was not theirs.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

Society has destroyed the sanctity of marriage as a whole. There will always be non positive influences on your child, however , I would state that a person capable of being a loving parent is perfectly capable of being a loving spouce. People today do not take marriage seriously. Civil divorse has cheapened it. Gave everyone a get out of jail free card. If people would be more concerned about the welfare of there spouce instead of there own selfish needs there would be much less divorse today.


Marriage is not for everyone and I do not fault anyone who isn't. Do I think children should be born out of wedlock ...ideally no.

If a couple is willing to commit to the responcibility of raising a child I think they can be equally committed to a successful marriage.

Genealogy / Mixed-Blood Poles in America (Do we count?) [118]


I don't mean to burst your bubble but there are a hell of a lot more Polish Americans in Pa than there are in NJ. Philly has over 65,000 of them alone.

Genealogy / Advice to translate pages from a Polish book into English? (Genealogy) [16]


OUR LADY OF THE BRIGHT MOUNT CHURCH
Los Angeles, CA 90018
3424 W. Adams Blvd
(323)734-5249
Polish Mass: Saturday 5:00 pm; Sunday 9:00; 12:00 am

This was a quick google search but I am sure there are many more sources of Polish speaking individuals in your area. When I spoke with the priest in my local area they were extremely helpful. My grandparents were married in a Polich Catholic church in Ny.

Genealogy / Russian Poland-what general area would this be? [30]

Many Polish people fled because they did not want to fight in the Russian army.
My grandfather did.


Not sure what the K stands for can you give us any more information. Like where it was on the immigration form? Alot of practicing Jews changed over to the Catholic faith as well looking to avoid problems at port.

Genealogy / Why Polish aren't white?? [272]


I might give u a culture in the broadest sense but it is not an ethnicity


If the lower classes you are referring to are black I would say they are just not lumping all whites together. White in America depending which class/race of people you are talking to is not a term of endearment.

Now if you are referring to whites who said this ....I would place these people in some white supremacist group or are just ignorant morons that have not caught up to the rest of society.

Genealogy / Why Polish aren't white?? [272]


Relevance??


Sarahk did say some of you


I am curious which ethnic minorities you are referring to?

Genealogy / Why Polish aren't white?? [272]

joepilsudski
As do most politicians that have true power.

Genealogy / Why Polish aren't white?? [272]

They can be be considering Jewish is a religion and not a race.

Genealogy / Advice to translate pages from a Polish book into English? (Genealogy) [16]

I can give you the name of a Genealogist who may be able to help if you wish. Where are you located?

Genealogy / How common is it for other people of Polish origin to discover they are actually Jewish? [127]


Racist no just practical as in olden days women were considered property and were raped and traded/ sold all the time. I call this law "The Mutt Law"

Scarlet unless you are a practicing Jew I wouldn't worry too much about it. You are what you are. My wife is a practicing Jew, however , I am raising all of my children Roman Catholic. I respect my wife's beliefs as she does mine. The only difference between a Jew and a Christian is one more belief. We are all African anyway.

Genealogy / Genealogy sites in Poland. Looking for Polish family of my great-grandparent. [13]

Was wondering if you ever contacted Emil? From the link I posted earler.
If so what were your findings?

Genealogy / "Code" and "Name" in the Polish Baptismal Certificate? [3]

Is that what the expert said classified them as gentry? There are from what I have heard signs that relatives may or may not have been gentry. For example the term land owner was a give away. Most baptismal records I have seen contain both parents names, some even contain the grandparents as well as witnesses.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


Not sure what Catholic church you are attending but all Catholic churches require marriage preparation classes prior to getting married.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

1. after marriage life is finished--- This is one of the biggest problems with people getting married today. This statement is true but in a good way. One's individual life is over and becomes one with thier spouse. Two people are supposed to act as one in the best interest of the family. Sounds like your parents did great.

2. after marriage life is sad--- Having children is sad?????

3. marriage is a state full of grudges and remorses-- life in general can be full of both of these. You can't blame marriage for an individuals short comings.

4. when you are married and you have children then you are stuck for good--- This is the biggest disapointment out of the 5 statements you made. You should want to be with your spouse forever. Marriage isn't untill we see someone who looks better, makes more money, or we are feeling a little down. It is permanent or should be (civil law screwed that up) It wasn't your parents that gave you this idea ..it was society that has allowed the end of marriage to become too easy and almost expected in todays selfish society.

5. when you have children then you are obliged to sacrifice in the sake children unless you want to be called bad mother/father.--- I really hope you don't have any children if you don't feel this is a good thing.

a) rises in the conviction of being the bee's knees
b) has remorses that ruin their parents lifes, feels the pressure to fill parents' ambitions and if he/she won't be succeed then has even worse remorse of letting down parents

I am not sure what to make of a). Were you an only child?? If you have remorses about your parents lives thats on you not them. Have you ever heard of the 5th comandment.

Have you ever spoken to your parents about thier marriage? A true parent is proud of thier child regardless. As there is no such thing as the perfect marriage , there is also no perfect child.

I am sorry you are feeling down about life , I hope things turn around for you. Your parents as far as I am reading seemed to everything right. Not sure why you have interpreted thier marriage the way you have.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


This is true and I agree. Relationships should develop before jumping into marriage. All these couples that get married within 6 months while infatuated with eachother don't know squat about thier partner. But is moving in together and starting a family a viable alternative. I am on the fence about a couple having to live together with thier spouse prior to getting married. What can you learn from this that you can't learn from dating someone for ample time.?

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


In most religions infidelity is grounds for divorce anyway is it not?

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


Being married does not have to equate with being miserable. Congrats to both you and your partner. It is a pleasure to see another couple able to handle the pressures of anothers company for a long time married or unmarried.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


There is very little social or religious stigma associated with divorce today. Turn back the clock 50 years and there is a huge difference. I am not trying to say an unmarried couple can not have a successful relationship.. I just think it is much more difficult in todays social atmospere.

The answer I gave was based on the fact that we were in fact single. No strings attached. The fact we are married makes me strive to make it work even in the poor times.

People keep talking about about failed marriages. How many failed relationships have we all been in. I would venture to say there are a lot more failed relationships out there than marriages. Is this only because there is some economic deterance involved with getting divorced or is it people still try harder when they are married?

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

Avalon:
you can walk into a pub or restaurant and see older couples sat side by side and if you watch carefully, they hardly speak to each other. The relationship has become more of a "habit" than love. They have spent so many Years together that communication has almost become "telepathic", they know what and when each other want to eat or drink, they have totally different interests, but, they are scared of trying to form a new relationship and they still enjoy each others company. So the irritating habits that they have formed over the years are ignored, the woman is houseproud and the man is a slob.

Couldn't they be not speaking because they may be enjoying the food, further, I think it is a positive sign they are in there together rather than the misses off at bingo and a dirty old man at the go go bar. My wife and I have different interests but we still enjoy eachothers company. If any of you are single and hope to marry the perfect spouce better keep dreaming. They will have plenty of faults as will you that both of you will have to work through. That is the self sacrifice part of the marriage.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


And I partly agree with you, if someone marries only for love than it will fail . Love is not eternal. It expands and contracts like a balloon. When it is full you can float above all the crap below you but withut a care in the world but when a little air seeps out things can look a little brighter looking somewhere else.

Duty and self sacrifice is an integral part of a succesful marriage.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

f stop


It is hard to answer that but I in my heart would probably have to say no. My wife and I were together 7 years before geeting married. Our relationship did survive 3 years of college and long distance (I went to school in Florida- she went to Rhode Island) but we were truly in love and that was the easy part. After getting married the ups and downs the economic swings, the 4 kids...I can honestly say if thier wasn't any retribution I could have strayed and if I did so the relationship would have ended. My wife wouldn't have tolerated it.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

No marriage will be perfect as no individual is. By succeed I meant unending.

The failure of marriages can I believe be directly linked to the lack of religion in todays society. No stigma. No consequences. No one cares. We are a selfish generation believing in an individuals freedoms over the whole. Marriages are doomed from the outset if people going into do not understand what it takes to have a succesful marriage. What is the point of the oath till death do us part in sickness and in health, through richer or poorer....this basically says we will stick it out through the good and the bad and we will work it out. Those who don't are just weak. The mistake is not who they got married to...it is that they got married in the first place because they were not ready for the commitment.


Yes I am married to my wife for 20 years. we have been a couple for 27. We met when we were 15.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


It is impossible to say for certain but I believe a marriage shared through a religious ceremony is more likely to succeed because of the social stigma attatched with divorce. Marriage is a huge commitment and should not be entered into lightly. Civil divorce has destroyed the sanctity of marrage and has cheapened it.

Those individual who made a better choice the second time around may have made a better chioce the 1st time if they knew there was no get out of jail free card. Marriage is about sacrifice. Both parties sacrifice to make a better whole.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


Your proving my point if you were married (made the commitment to each other) without the possibility of civil disruption (divorce) you would have been more inclined to work it out. On a side note if you truly feel that way perhaps you did the right thing not getting married as you were not ready for the commitment in the first place.

Genealogy / Polish nationality? Which of the following (if any) determine being Polish. [231]


It is not that we want to be something else. It is that we are proud of where we came from. I mean if I could trace my roots back 300 years or more in America and my family grew up and was part of that interesting history you spoke of than perhaps I would be more inclined to say I am only American. My family is only second generation living in America. I still have relatives in Poland I keep in contact with. I can trace my families history much further in Poland than I can in the Usa. I teach my children where they came from. I don't want them to forget.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


Marriage is the commitment. All you have is a relationship without it. A marriage is permanent (or at least should be- civil law has destroyed what was once a permanent commitment) commitment or bond between two people. Granted in more archaic times this was not the case but at one time women were considered property as well- should we turn back the clock?

A relationship has no boundries accept those proposed by both parties and hopefully both will agree to them.

Today's society preaches not getting married too young- that one should establish oneself before getting married....this is a mistake. The younger you are the easier it is to adapt to any situation. The older you are the harder it will be to find someone compatable with you.

Genealogy / Mixed-Blood Poles in America (Do we count?) [118]


I consider myself half Polish and half Irish. America is a melting pot of many cultures. Because I didn't grow up on the family farm in Podbielko doesn't make my blood any less Polish. I do agree it is very important to learn about one's culture and I have strived to learn both about both my families history and Polish history. I would like to learn the language, it may have to wait as I must provide for my family first. I will try to visit with family over the next 2 years.

Genealogy / Mixed-Blood Poles in America (Do we count?) [118]

What does "Democracy in America" by Tocqueville have anything to do with the topic at hand??? I suppose if I was moving to another country I would learn the language but you missed the point. You don't have to speak the language to be Polish.

Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]


If they get married, absolutely. Why? Cause they took an oath to do so. For richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part etc etc.... I have to admit the for richer or poorer part is the most difficult for most people today. Everything seems great when you are young and have no obligations but add a few kids, car payments, mortgage, and hell love seems to fly right out the window. I have been married to my wife for 20 years- half my life. We met freshman year of high school when we were 15. We have 4 children. We have arguements but we work it out. Marriage is a gift , a union of 2 souls to become one.


If unmarried no reason to. If married because they chose to get married (freedom of choice is a ***** sometimes isn't it).The problem with most people today is they don't understand what marriage is and take it entirely too lightly.


True but in some cases is also causes it. Divorce for example. If it wasn't so easy to get out of a marriage perhaps it wouldn't be treated by todays society as a joke.


Freedom of choice is a double edged sword. Too much freedom breeds selfishness.