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How to make a guy (Polish or other) happy?


noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #1
A friend I met while I was studying spent almost 3 years with her boyfriend.

The key for her was to give him freedom
They didn't control eachother. He spent his time the way he wanted. So was she.
My friend even didn't notice when they became almost strangers for each other.
It's too long story to describe but as a result, he started to have had his own life (she had no idea about his new companionship), lied, flirted with many girls, was visiting his girlfriends parents, going for weekends with new friends.

As a student of psychology that girl knew that if man feels free he will always come back to her. He did in fact.
Breaking up wasn't nice for my friend. She heard something like :"Well, I am not sure if you will not want to be with me again", "you aren't resposible, you don't know what you want, you don't want to grow up or similar b**** like "you wanted to be on a lonely island and I even wanted to be with you there".

My question is: where are borders of freedom in relationship?
mike22  
27 Aug 2010 /  #2
so she left him free, and she was hurt afterwards?

who initiated the breakup?

but what kind of relationship they had... how often did they sleep with eachother?

guys are quite different. was the girl good in bed?
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #3
I haven't asked her about their private things!!!
She initiated breakout.
Freedom generally. Freedom+trust, those kind of things.
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #4
the answer is in your question:

He spent his time the way he wanted. So was she.
... they became almost strangers for each other.

you're not free in a relationship, you have your own space, but freedom is limited... if you want to be free, you have to be single...
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #5
I don't want to be single at all.

Do you think she gave him too much space?
mike22  
27 Aug 2010 /  #6
i think that you are her noreenb.\

and i think it's stupid to spend 3 years of your life with somebody you meet rarely and you are like a stranger with
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #7
Do you think she gave him too much space?

everybody needs space, but if you have it too much, why to be in a relationship? it doesn't make any sense...

How to make a guy (Polish or other) happy?

food, sex and a remote control...
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #8
pgtx
everybody needs space, but if you have it too much, why to be in a relationship? i

Yuo don't catch what I mean.

Freedom, everybody needs it is isn't it?

Gosh, there are 1000 answers on your question.

Why people don't respect rules?

She said to him sth like I like you, we feel great with each other, we are together because it's our free choice, because we attract each other, and so on. But, first of all, 1) we are free and 2). we have our common space.

Why did he dissapoint her?

There were common space and free space.
jablko  
27 Aug 2010 /  #9
Do you think she gave him too much space?

Short leash is a bad idea, but no leash at all is even worse! Getting into relationship usually means losing part of your freedom, thats how it works and its nothing bad :)
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #10
Why did he dissapoint her?

it seems you don't get it...
there is a difference between freedom and space in a relationship.... think about it...
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #11
I am not sure if I don't get.

No leash or short leash?
So what? Do guys need a leash?
Are they dogs or other creatures?
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #12
too hard, huh?

so you wanna talk about freedom or what makes men happy?
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #13
I don't want to talk about it.
I know by and large what makes men happy.
And I don't also believe in lashes.
shewolf  
27 Aug 2010 /  #14
lashes can be fun. ;)
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #15
OK, nevermind :D
shewolf  
27 Aug 2010 /  #16
Breaking up wasn't nice for my friend. She heard something like :"Well, I am not sure if you will not want to be with me again", "you aren't resposible, you don't know what you want, you don't want to grow up or similar b**** like "you wanted to be on a lonely island and I even wanted to be with you there".

A man who blames the woman because he was unfaithful? That's a surprise. Seriously, why didn't he break up with her first and then date the other woman? Because he's a cheater. He probably did it before and will do it again with the new woman. It wasn't her fault.
SzwedwPolsce  
27 Aug 2010 /  #17
We have a saying in Swedish:

If you don't hold on to love it will fly away. But if you squeeze it to hard it will die.
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #18
very smart... thanks for that :)
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #19
If you don't hold on to love it will fly away. But if you squeeze it to hard it will die.

All I can say is: Proverbs are wisdom of a nation.
SzwedwPolsce  
27 Aug 2010 /  #20
very smart... thanks for that :)

I think it can be applied to most situations concerning love/relationships.

All I can say is: Proverbs are wisdom of a nation.

And that means?
SeanBM  
27 Aug 2010 /  #21
How do you make a snooker table laugh?
Put your hand in the pocket and play with the balls.

On topic as always :D

If you don't hold on to love it will fly away. But if you squeeze it to hard it will die.

Oh you old romantic SzwedwPolsce.

He who bind himself a joy,
does the winged life destroy ,
but he who kisses it as it flies,
lives in eternal sunrise
-William Blake
OP noreenb  
27 Aug 2010 /  #22
It means that a nation is wise among many reasons also thanksfully to its proverbs.
Do you expect from me an interpretation of this one?
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #23
Do you expect from me an interpretation of this one?

no
A J  
27 Aug 2010 /  #24
food, sex and a remote control...

Wrong. Sex. Beer. More sex. (Because girls like you can't cook!)

;P
pgtx  
27 Aug 2010 /  #25
Sex.

More sex.

that's just a talk... reality fails men...lol

(Because girls like you can't cook!)

i can survive, don't worry about me...
JustysiaS  
27 Aug 2010 /  #26
She said to him sth like I like you, we feel great with each other, we are together because it's our free choice, because we attract each other, and so on. But, first of all, 1) we are free and 2). we have our common space.

Why did he dissapoint her?

There were common space and free space.

sounds more like friends to me, can't blame him for going elsewhere. it has nothing to do with his nationality, everybody's different and your *clever* psychology tricks are naive because you can't expect a person to act a certain way because you read about it in a book. you gotta give a man something to come back to, something he wants and needs. you didn't, so he found it somewhere else. everybody needs their own space in a relationship, you can't just fill your partner's every spare minute cos they will start resenting you for it, but it's good to have boundaries and know what you can do and what you can't. you, or shall i say your friend, never made it clear it was an exclusive relationship and by the sounds of it he was up for that, but he was pushed away to be free so now he is. end of story.
NorthMancPolak  
27 Aug 2010 /  #27
(Because girls like you can't cook!)

She's from Texas. Everything's bigger there. Polish meals are too big anyway, so there's no way I could ever finish a Polish-Texan meal! lol
JustysiaS  
27 Aug 2010 /  #28
so there's no way I could ever finish a Polish-Texan meal

what about a Polish-Texan sandwich ;D
dtaylor5632  
27 Aug 2010 /  #29
I'm sure with enough special sauce...ill stop there...
A J  
27 Aug 2010 /  #30
that's just a talk... reality fails men...lol

Do I detect some kind of curiousity?

i can survive, don't worry about me...

Tough cookie. (Literally!)

;P

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