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Do Poles ignore domestic abuse?


Randal 1 | 577  
16 Mar 2009 /  #31
that's called emotional abuse

Oh stop. A little yelling during an argument is hardly "emotional abuse". That's Femnazi BS.
pgtx 30 | 3,156  
16 Mar 2009 /  #32
A little yelling during an argument is hardly "emotional abuse".

i wasn't talking about that...

That's Femnazi BS.

you keep repeating that... you should stop...
MrBubbles 10 | 614  
16 Mar 2009 /  #33
Oh stop. A little yelling during an argument is hardly "emotional abuse"

Sorry PGTX, in this case the Redneck is correct. Relationships are not always plain sialing and a little shouting at one another can often clear the air and actually be beneficial. Women who play the emotional abuse card durng an argument often give as good as they get the rest of the time

I am just interested to hear what you Polish guys/girls (and anyone else with experience of this) think about the Polish take on abuse in the home ...

Well, one of the reasons my parents divorced was because my (Polish) father was a loud mouthed boorish crybaby who would often humiliate my mum in front of his mates (shouting, swearing, sweeping stuff off the table for her to clean up etc.) and by the time Mum left she was, by all accounts, a nervous wreck. They never sorted their relationship out and even now 30 years later she doesn't want to be in any way associated with him. They couldn't even bury the hatchet for my wedding.

You can only take shit for so long before you start believing it. Think about it.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
16 Mar 2009 /  #34
Many years ago,
there was a bunch of us, boys and girls, all friends, in Ireland.
A new fella, Patrick started hanging around with us.
I thought he was fine but the girls told me he was being abusive to them (creepy) and rubbing himself against them out side their houses at night when he followed them home uninvited.

A few of them came to me at the same time to tell me this.
So I told Patrick if I heard anything like that again I would knock him in to next week.
He disappeared.

Years later (I was about 19) I met him in London, he was hanging around with a load of people I know there.
His girlfriend, who I did not know, came to a friend of mine with a black eye, caused by Patrick.
I remembered what i had said to Patrick a few years earlier, so I went to follow through on my threat.
I burst my way in the front door and ran down the hall after the guy to give him a kicking.
He ran in to the bedroom and up jumps the girlfriend in front of him, screaming "leave him alone!".
His landlord, a friend of mine, came in and asked me to leave.
I did.
They both left the following week.
About two months after that i heard he had broken her arm, two ribs and generally smashed her up AND they were going to get married ???.

After that I realised what a dreadful mistake I had made,
that here was this bully, terrorising this young girl, while I was terrorising him (making me somehow like him), when in actual fact she loved (???) him and wanted to marry the guy.

It had nothing to do with me.
I was young and quick to temper back then but I learned a lot from this experience.
Basically that it takes two to tango and me interfering makes me an abuser.

I don't understand delikatna's thread here, her man is abusing her and she blames some other guys for not doing anything???.
Perhaps the other guys are just more experienced than i was?.
pgtx 30 | 3,156  
16 Mar 2009 /  #35
Relationships are not always plain sialing and a little shouting at one another can often clear the air and actually be beneficial. Women who play the emotional abuse card durng an argument often give as good as they get the rest of the time

i didn't mean a shouting at each other during an argument...
never mind anyway...
Randal 1 | 577  
16 Mar 2009 /  #36
I learned a lot from this experience.
Basically that it takes two to tango and me interfering can makes me an abuser.

No, you did the right thing, Sean.

Sorry PGTX, in this case the Redneck is correct.

Thank you, Mr. Liberal Nutjob. ;)
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
16 Mar 2009 /  #37
No, you did the right thing, Sean.

That is what i thought but I was wrong.
His girlfriend kinda enjoyed the attention, they were both mad.
I understand now why police are reluctant to get involved in domestics.
It is not always clear cut.
If you bully a bully and she gets off on all this, what does that make you?.
I tried to shorten the story and in doing so left out some details but they were off their heads, you'll just have to take my word for it.
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
16 Mar 2009 /  #38
was a loud mouthed boorish crybaby who would often humiliate my mum in front of his mates (shouting, swearing, sweeping stuff off the table for her to clean up etc.

so emotional abuse is not really a "femnazi" invention, is it?
Randal 1 | 577  
16 Mar 2009 /  #39
I was wrong.
His girlfriend kinda enjoyed the attention, they were both mad.
It is not always clear cut.

I still think, for what you had to go on, you did the right thing by standing up to the bully for the girls. And then you got out when you saw the true light of the situation. It's all good. Bullies need someone to stand up to them and defend the defensless. If not you, then who?

z_darius

Oh, get off my leg and go lick your wounds, you crybaby.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
16 Mar 2009 /  #40
Bullies need someone to stand up to them and defend the defensless. If not you, then who?

But what if in doing so you find out that you are the bully?.
it is not easy and I have learned a lot from it.

As for yelling, there is yelling and there is yelling.

Sometimes it is a release and sometimes it is degrading/bullying.
Domestic abuse comes under many categories, psychological abuse can some times be worse than physical.
But people fight and more often than not, when people fight they raise their voices and shout.

I would find it hard to believe anyone trying to justify psychological abusing someone by belittling them, shouting and generally being verbally violent.
But we may have different ideas of shouting.
Randal 1 | 577  
16 Mar 2009 /  #41
I would agree with all of that, Sean.
But I still say you did the right thing.
Back in school all of my fights were from me taking it to the bullies.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
16 Mar 2009 /  #42
my fights were from me taking it to the bullies.

Some day you could wake up and realise you are the bully.
It is a slippery slope.
Randal 1 | 577  
16 Mar 2009 /  #43
I like to think I made high school a little more tolerable for the meek and picked on innocents.
miranda  
16 Mar 2009 /  #44
I was young and quick to temper back then but I learned a lot from this experience.
Basically that it takes two to tango and me interfering makes me an abuser.

I don't understand delikatna's thread here, her man is abusing her and she blames some other guys for not doing anything???.
Perhaps the other guys are just more experienced than i was?.

could not say it better myself. There were times when I got between two abusive people and I ended up being an enemy to both of them. Now, I just don't react.
PennBoy 76 | 2,436  
16 Mar 2009 /  #45
Fortunately the chances of you ever having a relationship with a woman other than one you pay are non-existant.

No i never paid for a girl , son i've had better lookin girls than you'll ever have, u probably gotta put up with all their shit cause you're butt ugly and wouldn't be able to find anyone else. And Pgtx its not verbal abuse when she's the one that starts doing it to you, its called defending yourself. i have a long temper, but i'll let anyone disrespect me.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
16 Mar 2009 /  #46
i'll let anyone disrespect me.

Says it all really.
PennBoy 76 | 2,436  
16 Mar 2009 /  #47
OOps, mistake i ment no one
gdj67 15 | 154  
16 Mar 2009 /  #48
'............meant no one' ?
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
17 Mar 2009 /  #49
Let's be glad that domestic abuse tends to be confined to telling family members how bad their day was ;) ;)

In Scotland, I imagine this to be far worse. It's a big problem there.
szkotja2007 27 | 1,498  
17 Mar 2009 /  #50
It's a big problem there.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes............................
nothin - you've telt her twice already !!!

( Awwww c'mon - I'm only joking )
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
17 Mar 2009 /  #51
Or more likely, what do you say to a man with 2 black eyes?
Hiz the bitch been at it again? ;)
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
17 Mar 2009 /  #52
Ignore?! We support it! We have wife abuse classes, lessons on how to chase down the hiding spouse and how to kick her ass if she's holding a blunt object.

Seriously though no we do not, barring patological families and couples domestic abuse is not accepted.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
17 Mar 2009 /  #53
It's hard to intervene with pathological families. They are in a league of their own for insanity.
szkotja2007 27 | 1,498  
19 Mar 2009 /  #54
There is a new magazine for married men...

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