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Ask for permission before marriage (I'm from England, she's from Poland)


hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #1
Hello all..

I have a serious question... i want to pop that one ;)
Seriously i want to ask my woman for her hand in marriage but dont know whether
to ask her parents for permission first...

Im from england and she is from poland and i live in poland... any advise would be appreciated

thankyou
polishgirltx  
21 Dec 2008 /  #2
ask her parents for permission first...

that would be nice....
:)
mafketis 29 | 9,861  
21 Dec 2008 /  #3
As her current owners, I guess they should be asked before you take possession.
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #4
aaaaaaaahahahha ;)
tomekcatkins 8 | 130  
21 Dec 2008 /  #5
I'm against!
If you marry a women, you should be prepared to marry her no matter what. That shows responsibility.
To ask her dad first, is maybe nice for him, but to your love you say (implicit): I want to marry you honey, but only if somebody else (daddy) agrees with it.

If a child becomes a grown up, it should not be held under permission of his/her parents (unless its mental-challenged he he :P)!
westy - | 6  
21 Dec 2008 /  #6
Sounds like you want to do the right thing but those days have past I think.

Best advice would be to ask her first and then ask her advice (provided she say's yes) if you should as her father. If she says yes, then ask him . He does need to know he wasn't first.

Either way, don't forget to put on the forum what her answer is !!
polishgirltx  
21 Dec 2008 /  #7
don't forget to put on the forum what her answer is !!

and we want to know about every spicy detail....
;)
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #8
Thankyou..

I know what you mean its old fashioned and yes it should be all about her but somewhere inside feels i should ask them first...

i just dont know if its polish custom... my mate from poland told me "fuck it"
its her you marrying and "ye, i agree... but still, i just want everything to be perfect :)
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Dec 2008 /  #9
If I'm the one that gets landed with a bill for my daughter's wedding. Then it would be nice if the groom at least thought about the rules of etiquette.
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #10
:)...
westy - | 6  
21 Dec 2008 /  #11
Hang on, who say's the father in law pays. Those days have gone as well.

I paid for my own wedding
mafketis 29 | 9,861  
21 Dec 2008 /  #12
I agree with westy, ask her first and if she answers 'yes' then ask her parents (together) for their blessing (not permission).
tomekcatkins 8 | 130  
21 Dec 2008 /  #13
There are guides on this subject. I thought I read that it is also desirable to have a dinner for both families prior to the wedding.

Success!
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #14
LOL... this is what is confusing me, some things have changed and some things havent.... i no i want to pay for everything im not waiting for her dad to dish the dough.. i can handle myself and i dont expect him to.... but at the same time i feel i should ask fist.

im confused with all these rules and traditions : /
polishgirltx  
21 Dec 2008 /  #15
the tradition: ask her parents for permission, then ask the girl and let her dad pay for everything...
your way might be: talk to the girl and ask her, ask her parents for blessings and pay for your own wedding....

;)
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,161  
21 Dec 2008 /  #16
but dont know whether
to ask her parents for permission first...

Ask her first, then (If she says yes...) tell her to not tell the parents yey, go and ask the parents... If you really ask the parents first, then you may hear yes from mom and dad and big f. off from her.
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #17
2 different ways : p

all i no is i want her forever... i just want her to be happy, but its hard for me to ask her would you like me to ask you parents first before i ask you to marry me

sort of ruin the surprise :)
westy - | 6  
21 Dec 2008 /  #18
How good is your Polish ? If it isn't so good then I like the idea that the Cat in the hat suggested of having a dinner with all the family
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Dec 2008 /  #19
Hang on, who say's the father in law pays. Those days have gone as well.

Being traditional doesn't mean I will say no. I understand the modern world too.
I also understand that it's not me who's marrying the groom.

As for paying for the wedding. The one I attended this year was paid for by both sets of parents.
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #20
LOL..
we have had many dinners... allways happy to see them just dont know about this time ;)
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Dec 2008 /  #21
allways happy to see them just dont know about this time ;)

I'm sure your future in-laws have some idea of your intentions. Tell them your intentions over a meal.

If a food fight starts, it means you chose the wrong moment :)
OP hu_man 6 | 131  
21 Dec 2008 /  #22
lol.... :)
gulrot 1 | 1  
21 Dec 2008 /  #23
We expect to pay for our own wedding. No rich parents...
WooPee 1 | 124  
27 Dec 2008 /  #24
i just dont know if its polish custom... my mate from poland told me "fuck it"

I would say the same. What if the parents will tell her before you will ask her? You never know, they may be even more nervous than you. :P
RebelOReilly 3 | 10  
29 Dec 2008 /  #25
JUst a lat shout on this one.

I asked my (now wife) first and then when we soon after travelled to Poland i kinda formally asked for her mums (dad has passed) permission in front of all the family. Everyone knew we were engaged already but i was told it was just part of the tradition and herself really appreciated it. That said it was a bit embarassing trying to be all sweet and stuff, then waiting for her brother to translate )

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