Why me? (made an idiot of myself at the club - the tall Polish man was married:)

LS, does that mean you've seen it? You know what I am talking about?

Because I can clearly see how I have sabatoged myself in the past. I think everyone believes to some degree that there is a "self fulfilling prophecy" at work with what they think and do. It is just that most of us are not truly aware of what we believe. We say what we "think we should" and convince ourselves that we really believe those ideals, when deep down, we don't. It's tricky stuff! :)

life is best when it is seem in a simple view.

Go ahead and fall in love with a simple person. Simple but honest... who finds your love as the 'Dream Come True' in his life!... you'll have a happy life trust me :) ... Some of you ladies should try it... and be honest to them! Have you met Ahmed by the way?... he used to come here with an application :) :) ...

See... people who love you... are handsome too (i am sure)....but dont know how to have a girl!.... might be good too.

Because after the 3rd year of marriage/life..... you will find your spouse equal to any human (from any where) IN BED.... but if you love the heart, and the LOVE in him/her....it will last forever.

nothing lasts forever.....!

does....DOES my frienddd...does :)

My parent's marriage. My Grandpa's etc...

Many I know... I hope mine will :) ... you must have less expectation.... and love the person who loves you...

I appreciate your idealism, but it doesn't always work that way. Here is my story...then tell me what you think!

I met a young man at work, 17 years ago, whom I was sure was gay. He denied this to the ends of the earth. He was NOT my type in any way. He was smart and funny, I was his boss at work. I promoted him, and we became friends. He had a terror of a girlfriend, and I had a non-committal, emotionally-absent boyfriend. We complained about our partners a lot, laughed, joked whatever.

Then I broke up with my guy, his girl went away to school, and he did not want to go with her. We spent more time together and got closer (was hard because of 9 year age difference). We started dating and he confided that he was actually bi-sexual. I had a really hard time with that, and broke things off. He persisted, saying that, even though he was "bi" he could only committ to one person, and wanted that to be me. We talked a lot and worked on this relationship for a long time (2 years as friends, 2 years as a couple) and then he asked me to marry him. I did. The marriage lasted for 11 years until he decided that he was gay. I was devasted, crushed, lost, confused, betrayed.....you name it. Still working through this, 3 years later :(

You never know what is in another person's heart...as these other ladies know. He lied to himself first, then me secondly.

So explain the "simple thing" to me again.

[quote=LoneStranger] love the person who loves you... .
I did and got no where for it. Having said that i have one friend out of many who is very happily married and still very much in love so theres stiil hope out there:)

:) .... Shopgirl :) ... I dunno how to say it ... But then.... your answer lies in your question :) ...

First....9 years difference :S
Second.... promoting him (temptation :) ... never works)
Third.... breaking with each others partner for this wacky relationship!
Fourth.... marrying him, knowing he is BISEXUAL!!!
Fifth.... expecting it to last.

See... if you would marry a simple person, around your age... working.... crazy about you (many many men can be crazy about you....if you gave them a chance to be with you for sometime!.... perhaps someone who hopes to be with you!

Try someone normal! A simple RELATIONSHIP. You can add flavour there....go for foreighners perhaps! Go interracial! ... find a BANGladesh guy! :) ... anyways....find anyone who would love it to be with you!... and also knowing that he is NORMAL, earning, good polite kinda guy... age is ok...etc... I am sure you will get good luck.

Think about it.... and tell me.... do you get it that 'Your Relationship Was Just Not There!'

(Well...atleast in my opinion)

My point is just this: If Lisa says to herself "why me" she is indicating a thought that is negative. If you operate with a "why me" attitude, you will draw more people and situations to yourself that will result in the thought "why me".

So that thinking has to be replaced with something better, like "I attract the best of single, Polish men, where ever I go". I would like to see what that brings her way! :)


I should note that we were not involved at any time at work, I transferred to a different unit, and so did he (promotion elsewhere) before we even spent time together outside of work.

I don't actually believe age difference is/was an issue...just took me time to overcome my own hang-up. I actually relate better to younger people than myself, I only have 2-3 firends my age.

We didn't break with our partners to be together....both relationships ended naturally.


Didn't you just contradict yourself?

Expecting SUCH a relationship to last.

:) ... look dear...I have no intention to hurt you. But your relationship doesnt look full to me. It is not simple at all. Simple things .... lasts.

Every time I read one of LS's posts, I feel like Paul McKenna's just lobbed a hypnotic flashbang into my room, then in the confusion, stolen my will to live. :)

i tend to find that simple things start to bore after a while... sooner rather than later...

:) :) ... Huegel ... so you follow my posts so closely :) ... hmm


that is when you heart is restless.... a confident, patient and sure heart is needed to smell a true rose :)

life is definately easier when you keep it simple... one of the expressions i use most when in poland is that it doesnt have to be complicated...

but i am a sagitarius and we need stimulation... according to a recent study saggitarius is the best sign...

I do not believe in Astrology :) ... however.... I am a Aquarius :) .

Maybe....but a little consistency and dependability in a man could be very comforting....in the right areas!

Then look at the correct man. Every surface is not fertile :)

All that shines...is not gold :)

really not quite sure how to respond to that...

I'm trying to figure out what the correct man is! That is the big question isn't it? I decided to let God find him for me. I give up trying to find him myself! I figure God knows what I need more than I do.

Im sure God will find you a man :) and never try to figure men out, they're all different. If im honest the only thing I miss about being in a serious relationship is regular sex

Thanks, Amathyst..that's sweet of you. :)

I think that for me, an Audrey, and Lisa....I hope we all find the right guy!:)

I don't want to intrude or anything, but I think you're trying to convince yourself a little too hard?

Amathyst doesnt always reply all the good question we put infront of her :)...

Hey, don't worry, I only want a few answers, and my patience is endless these days. I guess I'll shut up for a while. I feel weird. :)

hi everyone update on the situation. I'v come out of this thinking sod him. I'm gonna sort my self out mentaly and physicaly. Brought a step machine going to do that every other day i'm losing weight anyway but going to keep that up and going to go to the club and blow their minds away as a new woman. He! He! Then i'll have them running after me lol

go get it girl :)

oh i will going to get me les out on saturday, normally have them tucked into jeans but think it will have to be a skirt or a pair of those black shorts all the girls are wearing oh with high heels of course. :)

OMG don't believe i put les i ment legs lol

"The principle which gives the thought the dynamic power to correlate with its object, and therefore to master every adverse human experience, is the Law of Attraction, which is another name for love. This is an external and fundamental principle inherent in all things, in every system of Philosophy, in every Religion, and in every Science. There is no getting away from the law of love. It is feeling that imparts vitality to thought. Feeling is desire and desire is love. Thought impregnated with love becomes invincible."

-Charles Haanel

LS....you don't have to believe in gravity either, but it still exerts its influence! :)

There is no such gravity... Newton just stood on the shoulder of a giant and banged his head on the apple, which just so happened to be innocently growing on a branch. It was Pope who made the whole apple falling thing up, apparently.

Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night;

God said "Sit under a tree" and the apple fell down, alright!

...trust me. :)

But as a man you should know "what goes up must come down" :) is that gravity :)

No i'd say that's over eagerness, or disappointment, depending on your perspective. :)

Sorry, that never usually happens to me, shall we try again in 5 mins...ah Heart Beat is coming on, no, Nick Berry never disappoints you dear....