Could "food" potentially come between us?

Hi guys,

My boyfriend's Polish and I'm french African from Paris.
We both live in London and are getting pretty serious about
eachother. I really like him and I want nothing to come between
us but I get this weird feeling that food might be a problem.
I haven't eaten any Polish food yet but I've seen some recipes
and as sumone who has grown up eating mainly african food,
Polish food does not sound too great. I'm a picky eater and if its
different from food that I'm accustomed to eating, I really can't
eat it. Now here's the thing, between me and him we can always
compromise sumhow but I'm going with him to Kalisz in June
and we gunno be staying at his mom's (which means that I'm
gunno have to eat Polish food for 2 weeks) I joked to him that
I'll bring ma pack of noodles, chilli and spices along but he didn't
laugh about that. I'm really worried because for me this is a pretty
serious issue. What should I do guys?

Thanks for ur time!

Learn to love pierogies, cabbage rolls and lots of kielbasa. It's only two weeks.

you can buy noodles and chili in Poland,

you can have trouble finding some more exotic ingredients and spices though

but be prepared that your bf's mum would not be happy if you are gonna cook for yourself

anyway you can ask them to cook more stuff you are accustomed to (noodles, rice) - well Polish women do not do curries though

If you really don,t like Polish food this can be a bit of a problem....Polish mums are renowned for their feeding up of guests with lots of food , and won,t take it very well if this is turned down....You have to be very carefull not to upset anyone in this situation , but of course nobody is going to want to make you eat anything that you really don,t like....My advice is to try out a few Polish foods to find some you like , and perhaps get your boyfriend to explain you are used to very different foods and are not used to Polish food....If the relationship is going to work its going to be important his mum likes you...A bit tricky , but i am sure you will survive it....

That's very true, your boyfriends mum will be very offended as she will have gone to a lot of trouble cooking meals in your honor. Every guest is treated like royalty in a Polish home.

The good side is, Polish food is delicious and after trying it, you will probably want to try cooking some when you get back home.

Smacznego

Well if it's a serious relationship it's all about making a compromise, it's not like you are doomed to eat polish food your whole life, you'll eat Polish food from time to time, and he will eat some of your native food from time to time - that's the rule :) Beside ain't you curious? Maybe one of many Polish dishes gonna be ok for you, it's the worst thing to do, become prejudiced before you even try.

I don't know if this is some kind of joke. Or are you the most spoiled person on earth? Being in a relationship with someone is all about compromising in all kind of ways. If this is a too big problem for you I don't even know what to say. I suppose you're not 7 years old. It's not everyday for the rest of your life.

Polish food is considered to be quite good. And refusing to eat the mothers food is basically digging a grave for that relationship.

Just swallow it!

You need to figure out what the problem areas are beyond "it's different and I don't know it".

Start on a slow course of trying Polish food there to see what you can learn to eat vs what you just don't like at all. Usually people from places with spicy food don't complain about the taste of (most) Polish food, just that it's not spicy so the tastes of the basic ingredients isn't changed much. This is generally easier to adapt to than the other way, it's a lot harder for people used to plain food to learn to eat heavily spiced food.

Anyway, once you've figured out what you can eat ahead of time, your boyfriend can let his mother know ahead of time that you might have problems with the food (he can make up a medical condition if all else fails) and his mother can plan meals so there's always something you can eat.

Also, if you try to have a sense of humor (and are properly apologetic when you can't eat something) it shouldn't be too big of a problem.

If you post the kinds of food you're used to eating, people here might be able to think of Polish dishes that you could get used to.

If you get gasses Polish food sounds just like any other food. A fart is a fart, no matter what you ate, 'cept for eggs. They can cause some really foul situations. But then, eggs are as Polish as they are African.

Or are you trying to play pierogi and cabbage rolls in your MP3 player?

Tell your boyfriend to 'dump you' and explain to him that you are one of those women who creates problems about nothing. Your boyfriend doesn't need the silly

bullcrap that you will constantly give him.

eat the food his mom offers you for chrisakes, smile and say DOBRA!! Then do the washing up.

niejestemcapita makes a good point about helping to wash the dishes ( keep saying pomogę pani until she lets you help or good naturedly chases you out of the kitchen )

I don't think some posters here realize what a hurle Polish food can be for the non-initiated (hint: it goes against the basic food ideas of most of the world).

I do think there's enough variety in Polish food so that you can find stuff to eat but pretending that adaptation isn't a problem won't help anyone.

hint: do you eat organ meat? flaki (pig or cow stomache) is one of the few Polish dishes that is often served spicy (even if the spice is mostly black pepper).

another hint: the Polish word 'ostry' (literally: sharp) is used of any strong flavor, not just hot flavors (which are 'pikantne') I remember once using a few more drops of magi (something like soy sauce) than was usual in a soup and people were amazed that I could eat such 'ostre' food.

yes, just spicy...

there is a variety of the Polish food... you don't have to eat only pierogi, bigos and such... Poles also eat fresh veggies , rice and noodles etc.

beside, it'd be nice if the guy's mum acknowledged that you may not eat certain foods... and it may be a good idea if the guy gives a hint to his mum about that... nothing offensive about that...

but also, if you didn't try Polish food yet, how can you say you don't like it?

i wouldn't feed anybody food the person doesn't enjoy...

Very true, Vincent. My stomach is still stuffed after the hearty fare that was dished up. I was visibly thinner before I went :)

Why do sum ppl have to be so rude?

I didnt say I wudn't like it. I sed I may not based on the fact
that a lot of things they eat, I'm jus not familiar with. If I didn't
give a s*** I wudnt have sed anything, jus gone there and
refused to eat wuteva I was given.
We're plannin to have dinner a few times at a Polish restaurant
I'm willing to try but I do get hungry quickly wen I eat summin
I'm not used to eating or summin I stuggle to eat.

I feel insulted by sum people's manner of replyin to ma post.
I'm African (altho raised in France), I have been well raised and
I kno not to reject his mother's food or act rude at the table.
I wudnt have posted the topic if I knew ppl have meat and
wires for brains.

Just ignore the rude ones .

I think you will probably be okay ? I presume you eat beef and chicken but cook it slightly differently ? So maybe you can take some of your favourite spices with you to use possibly. The restaurant should have a variety of dishes to choose from too.

I understand where you are coming from because people who are raised on African food don't like the flavours too much of all Polish food. I think some Polish foods you may find alright. Will just be a question of trial and error really :)

PurpleLeo, I think there is good advice in this thread about trying the food. This is only April and you have until June to try out different Polish dishes. Of course there will be dishes you don't like, I don't like Flaki for example, but you will only know if you don't like them if you try them first. Don't expect the worst, most Polish food is very nice. You are in London, there are numerous places to try Polish food or ask your boyfriend to introduce you to the food, perhaps he has a friend who will cook some. Don't panic about this situation but make an effort so at least when you go to Poland you will know what you like and don't like. Don't leave it until you go to Poland to first taste the food. Do the taste test! :)

If someone has been brought up on African food they will surely struggle with some Polish dishes.

The seasonings are just so totally different and usually African dishes don't contain Pork. Nor do they particularly like lots of cabbage :)

I can understand PurpleLeos concern. I wonder if there are any Africans in Poland, who visit PF and can come up with some suggestions as to the type of dishes you may like ?

Hope so :)

I knew some Africans that ate a lot of kasza manna because the texture was close to the maize meal they were used to (they may have mixed some corn flour into it). But they were from East Africa.

But purpleleo hasn't really said what kind of food she's used to. Africa is several times larger than Europe and the food in different parts differs at least as much as food in different parts of Europe.

I can understand her concerns too which is why I suggest to try out some dishes. Particularly if her boyfriend can assist by even telling her what sort of dishes his mother might prepare then PurpleLeo can try them out in London.

PurpleLeo, if you don't like them after trying them, no one can fault you on that but at least you tried them and your boyfriend can talk to his mother. His mother might be a bit more understanding than you think.

Thanks guys for ur support.
At least there are people that understand me.

I'll try as much Polish food as I can before I go to
Poland because I really want his mom to like me...
Even ma bf, I think it's important I show him that
I'm willing to make sacrifices too cos I love his face wen
he eats ma spicy food...he becomes red as hell but he
LOVES it!

mafketis, I'm West African from Cameroon. We have maize meal
as well. I usually stick to food that is closer to ma native food
in general so if there's summin Polish that tastes or looks like it,
then it'll automatically become ma favorite lol!

Polskadoll, we working on all of that. His mom's a chill person
and I think she's quite understanding cos she was asking
him on the fone earlier wut sorta food I eat.

In the end, I think it'll work out well

So you come to a Polish forum, suggest that Polish doesn't sound too well, and you do that without even trying it. Now, how rude is that?


Dear, Polish food IS different from African food. In Poland they don't eat whatever they can catch, and they certainly don't eat fried flying ants, so that may be an insurmountable novelty to you.

Ure a bloody twat!

I neva sed there was anything wrong with Polish food.
Doesn't sound like summin I personally wanna eat doesn't
mean it's not edible. Besides I'm workin on gettin accustomed.

Don't reply to ma post if u have nothin to contribute u flippin idiot!

Yes. Especially if you force him to change to your diet (if you get married), you'll be ensuring that the poor fellow dies a young man...

OK, you're right. I apologize. You "neva sed" Polish there was anything wrong with Polish food. You "sed" Polish food may "cum" between you and the Polish fella who has the misfortune to have met you. And all that based on having read a recipe or two.

So, indeed, you're not rude. Just plain stupid.

And that's where it ends. Grammar and spelling are not a must here but content is and when it starts towards being derogatory it signals the end of a thread like this. Let's not forget, English is not everyones first language and sometimes it's not even their second just possibly their third.

When, exactly, did we start attacking people who simply need some guidance?