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First time meeting Polish girl question...


Bryon 9 | 17  
20 Dec 2007 /  #1
Hi everyone,
I'm sure I'm opening myself up for ridicule, but I have a question.
The other day in Warsaw I met a girl working in a store, and it seemed like we hit it off. We had a lot in common, and talked about things for close to an hour.

Towards the end of our conversation I decided to ask her out. She accepted, and we decided to meet near her work. While I was waiting for her another girl from her store met me and told me she couldn't make it.

This is fine, and I appreciate her having her friend come to inform me of the situation.
What I'm wondering, is whether I should have not asked her out so directly. I'm afraid that I may have put her on the spot, and she just accepted so she didn't hurt my feelings.

I really liked her. I guess its kinda a crush; which is pretty bad at my age.
Here's the decision I'm trying to make: I am thinking about calling her after the holidays, and just telling her that I'm sorry we couldn't meet up, and that maybe we can in the future, etc.

Is this a bad idea? I'm wondering if she would appreciate a gesture like this, or consider it some kinda stalking! It could be taken either way where I'm from.

I appreciate any input you guys may have. I'm assuming that Polish girls are like girls from anywhere else, but I'm certainly not familiar with relationship etiquette.

Thanks.
lonely 2 | 97  
20 Dec 2007 /  #2
it's worth a try Byron, the worst she can say is no.

I say go for it dude and good luck.
Polanglik 11 | 303  
20 Dec 2007 /  #3
I am thinking about calling her after the holidays, and just telling her that I'm sorry we couldn't meet up, and that maybe we can in the future, etc.

sounds like a good idea .......

I guess its kinda a crush; which is pretty bad at my age.

crushes can hit at any age .... is there a huge difference between your ages ?
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #4
No.she simply did not want to meet you.You simply pressed her too much and aranged the date to get rid of you and then sent her friend to notify you.Why are you so insisting and burdening?You will turn polish girls to become defensive like their western counterparts.
lonely 2 | 97  
20 Dec 2007 /  #5
she simply did not want to meet you.You simply pressed her too much and aranged the date to get rid of you and then sent her friend to notify you

you can not say that when you were not there dude!!!

I'm sure this guy is a normal person or she would not have given him any time in the shop.

I think it's worth his while and if he's going to call her then she must have given him her number... Seems like she liked him to me!
Curtis 3 | 73  
20 Dec 2007 /  #6
I reckon you should ring her, but don't ask her to go out on a date as such until you've talked a little. So it doesn't seem like your desperate to see her all the time, but it shows you care.

She obviously does care about you if she sent a friend to tell you she couldn't make it. If she was trying to get rid of you, she would have just stud you up.
marek s - | 269  
20 Dec 2007 /  #7
I am thinking about calling her after the holidays, and just telling her that I'm sorry we couldn't meet up, and that maybe we can in the future, etc.

are you thinking of calling her at the store she works at?
if so bad idea.
OP Bryon 9 | 17  
20 Dec 2007 /  #8
"are you thinking of calling her at the store she works at?"

Unfortunately this is the only # I have. I feel asking for her number would have put her on the spot more than asking her out for the evening, since it's easier to make an excuse about the evening than it is to come up with a reason not to give a phone number. That's just my opinion anyway.

I appreciate everyones opinion on this. Most were reassuring. I left Warsaw the next day and haven't had an opportunity to talk since. I figure I'd wait until after the holidays.

I agree with what you guys said about having nothing to lose. But do you all think it would be that bad to contact her at work?

Judging by the fact that it's a small place, and she works her shift alone, I don't think there is a risk of getting her in trouble.

Thanks again,

Bryon
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #9
you can not say that when you were not there dude!!!

I'm sure this guy is a normal person or she would not have given him any time in the shop.

I noticed in Poland that polish girls in shops use their sex appeal to sell products.Trying to cope up with market economy they do not know how to make the right appearance(proffesional and attractive) and give the impression that they are available to the inexperienced customer.To me it was clear that they smiled and held conversations in order to sell.
OP Bryon 9 | 17  
20 Dec 2007 /  #10
Southern,

I didn't pressure or burden her at all.
We just talked about different thinks, casually, for about an hour. I think we both felt comfortable, because the conversation was so easy and relaxed.

Only when I had to go did I mention meeting later. I only mentioned this once, and also told her if she had plans not to worry about it.

There was no pressure at all.
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #11
But she responded for two reasons.
Either to get a tip or
to appear that she attracts clients to the shop.
In the West would you occupy the shop assistant for so long?
OP Bryon 9 | 17  
20 Dec 2007 /  #12
I though about the sex appeal for sales thing also, but I made a purchase from her in the first few minutes. The rest of the conversation just kinda happened. That's what has me thinking about her now.

I haven't connected conversationally with a girl like that in years.
Madzia22 - | 72  
20 Dec 2007 /  #13
and she just accepted so she didn't hurt my feelings.

many polish girls do that, even Ive done it a couple of times...
Curtis 3 | 73  
20 Dec 2007 /  #14
The rest of the conversation just kinda happened.

That's when you think, 'Oh.. I really enjoy being with her'. If she works her shift alone, just go in at a quiet time and talk to her a bit more. I'm sure she'll appreciate a bit of company when she's there alone.
porta 18 | 297  
21 Dec 2007 /  #15
I would bring her a cup of coffee and go in there and talk to her. When you have finished your cup of coffee ask for her number and leave :) You can call her up later and ask for a date :)

many polish girls do that, even Ive done it a couple of times...

And is that really better than hurting his feelings by not turning up?
TomBoy1978 - | 1  
22 Dec 2007 /  #16
I think u should give another try - u dont have anything to loose ....
Wyspianska  
23 Dec 2007 /  #17
Bryon

List of your mistakes:
When her friend came to tell you she won't meet with, you should move your ass and ask her directly what happened and if you can meet her a bit later because you're leaving Poland soon and care about having next conversation with her.

Another thing is:

Unfortunately this is the only # I have. I feel asking for her number would have put her on the spot more than asking her out for the evening, since it's easier to make an excuse about the evening than it is to come up with a reason not to give a phone number.

OMG! You SHOULD ask her for #. The first thing! Input? WTF. No girl would feel insulted if guy they like ask for that. Well, there are some dumb bitches who will pretend they are so shy and innocent but they are not worth asking.. :P

Bryon wrote:
and she just accepted so she didn't hurt my feelings.
many polish girls do that, even Ive done it a couple of times...

haha, great. Next time when guy will ask you for fuck go and do that ... you can't hurt his feelings, can you?
osiol 55 | 3,922  
23 Dec 2007 /  #18
Whenever you find yourself asking these kinds of questions, put yourself in someone else's shoes. Even if you still can't find the answers, at least you've got yourself a new pair of shoes. It wasn't a shoe shop was it?

If you're not going to get this girl. Why not cheer yourself up with the thought that if you just clicked this time but it didn't happen, there could be someone else just round the corner and it might happen next time. You probably know what you did wrong, and next time, hopefully subconciously, you won't go through the same mistakes again.
Madzia22 - | 72  
24 Dec 2007 /  #19
And is that really better than hurting his feelings by not turning up?

its not better but easier
southern 75 | 7,096  
24 Dec 2007 /  #20
OMG! You SHOULD ask her for #. The first thing! Input? WTF. No girl would feel insulted if guy they like ask for that.

I would write my number on a Christmas card and insert it into her cleavage.
Wyspianska  
25 Dec 2007 /  #21
LOL
better that than nothing haha
OP Bryon 9 | 17  
26 Dec 2007 /  #22
The Christmas card idea is something I'll have to keep in mind for next time!

Wyspainska, I did have her friend call her mobile right then, but she didn't answer. You're correct, in hindsight I should have just asked for her number, but since I didn't I may just call her at work. As others have mentioned, I don't have much too lose.
Express12 - | 5  
30 Dec 2007 /  #23
you did just the right thing! just be cool and hopeful ;-)

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