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i Have been dating a polish guy for 2 years and i NEED help

Ava 1 | 1  
23 Dec 2007 /  #1
I hope i can find help here from someone.
my boyfriends parents are both from poland and at times can be extremly tradtional
I met my boyfriend over two years ago adn we were friends at first i even was unable to go home for thanksgiving before we were dating and his family offered to me to go there..i thought everything was okay

A month later we started dating seriously but with his mother it went down hill
For some reason she hates may think that i might be blowing out of the water but i'm not
At his sisters wedding family members came up to me and said " we don't know why she doesnt like you she just doesnt"

I have tried everything i have baked her things brought her wine when i go and visit her house ect..for a while i was not allowed to park my car in the drive way!!!

My parents even went to Poland to pick up some dogs there and i thought that would be a conversation peice but oh hell no..she bearly says anything to me

Its been two years now and i dont live in the same twon anymore and when i come up to visit i'm not allowed to stay very long

i'm extremly polite and more of a kiss ass really When and if she wants to talk to me
I'm no longer allowed at the house for holidays even though his cousins can bring there boy/girl friends
I'm just lost
I dont know if i should be baking somehting specific for her or should i make a dress and go to her house and a lil dance? any thing will help me

krysia 23 | 3,057  
23 Dec 2007 /  #2
She just doesn't like you. And you know why? It's not you, but the image of someone who's taking her son away. Polish mothers are very close and devoted to their children to a point where they will decide who's the best for their children.

I don't think there is anything you can do, but wait and see if in time she will get over it and accept you, as her son's girlfriend.
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,510  
23 Dec 2007 /  #3
tell her exactly what a bicth you think she is... if she gets uppity then slap her about a bit... hopefully this will bring things to a head and everyone will know where they stand and, depending how your bf responds, youll be able to tell if hes a mummy's boy or not

problem solved
Eurola 4 | 1,906  
23 Dec 2007 /  #4
What about the boyfriend? Can't he talk to his mother to give you a break? You are his choice not hers. Two years is a very long time to put up with this kind of treatment. If he can not defend you know, he never will.
Curtis 3 | 73  
24 Dec 2007 /  #5
He obviously isn't put off you by the fact his mother doesn't like you.
OP Ava 1 | 1  
24 Dec 2007 /  #6
thank you all for a quick responce i have thought about tell her what i really think but my boyfriend gives me a look of "god please no"

He has tried to talk to his mom from what he tells me shes just a B. i would love to say
kurwa mac
i guess you all are right it has been two years so maybe he just doesnt care what she thinks
i will let you know how this holiday season goes Happy holiday and a new year
Sternik 2 | 12  
25 Dec 2007 /  #7
This is a tough one. Some hardcore-polish families can be very "traditional" and actually, for the lack of other word, racist. My best friend (polish) is in a very similar situation. His wife is canadian, 3/4 caucasian and 1/4 native american - wonderful girl, dread gorgeous, smart, well educated, "the works". But his parents will not simply accept her into the family. My mother 'loves her' and even she took time and effort to talk to his parents to no avail. Its been going like this for the last 7 years... The situation got somewhat better now that they have a kid together, but the relationship between the wife and the polish parents is very cold. If he loves you, he will listen to his heart and not what his parents are telling him. Good luck.
starchild 2 | 120  
25 Dec 2007 /  #8
if she gets uppity then slap her about a bit...

Haha... thats a good one! I find that slapping the mother-in-law around always helps to relieve tension!!
espana 17 | 910  
25 Dec 2007 /  #9
in a few years she will be your friend ( first she have to losse the war)
dajmi - | 3  
26 Dec 2007 /  #10
my boyfriend is polish and his mother hates me too. he has overheard her with her friend saying she never likes his girlfriends because they are "stealing her son". luckily, we live 1000 miles from her. she came to stay at our house and gave me evil looks and watched me like a hawk. i couldn't even clean the house without hearing her opinion about how i was doing it wrong. she told him she was coming to live with us. he is a momma's boy so he said it was ok. but i fought and fought him on that one. he did decide to tell her this wasn't happening, which was a big symbol of his true love for me. i think at times she is starting a war with me to see if she wins. but she picked the wrong girl, i am very strong willed and i love him so much.

on the other hand, my cousin married a guy with a polish mother and italian father. the polish mother absolutely hated her, even threatened to kill her at one time. she is very protective over her son. one day my cousin just snapped and told her off. she really hated her after that. my cousin said one day the mother realized she wasn't going anywhere and started to like her. my cousin is also a very good housewife, takes care of the kids and husband. she said she thinks that has something to do with it.

me, i just stay away from the evil mother-in-law. she loves her son and that's how she shows it i guess. but if she messes with me, I'll tell her off too!

oh, stop kissing her ass. act like you don't care. get him to put his foot down on her being rude to you.

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