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I cheated on my girlfriend (I'm British, my gf is Polish)


espana 17 | 950  
6 May 2007 /  #31
advise

you not love her if you did that and my advise is fuc* off
OP sad guy  
6 May 2007 /  #32
we are back together, thanks for the help
espana 17 | 950  
6 May 2007 /  #33
good!!!!!! but she doent love you too
angel eyes 1 | 131  
6 May 2007 /  #34
we are back together, thanks for the help

im happy to hear that now you have some serious making up to do!But remember what i said. things will never be the same again and you need to cop on and dont ever do this to her again. your very lucky she has given you a second chance:)
OP sad guy  
6 May 2007 /  #35
i no i have no excuse for what i did, and it will never happen again
agata - | 10  
6 May 2007 /  #36
hmmm... if you realy love her - fight for it, she may not forget, but if she forgive.... and if she will be able to trust you some day ... maybe you can rebuild, what you destroyed, but you must work realy hard on this one, she must believe that it is worth to try. that you are worth, and that you believe in you two. you have to speak with her, you have to tell her what you feel and have a hope... i dont know her personally, so i can't say for sure, but... maybe it's worth to try
Ranj 21 | 947  
6 May 2007 /  #37
I agree with what others say....she may forgive but will never forget....it's going to take a lot of work to rebuild trust.....you will have to be patient with her, because the next time you are out without her or she's feeling a little insecure, she will probably give you the third degree....even if you are doing nothing wrong, you have to remember you gave her a reason to be suspicious....just forewarning you......good luck.

BTW, you are a very lucky man that she forgave you.....unfortunately, in my past, I have had boyfriends who have cheated, and no matter how much I cared for them, I couldn't see past their indescretions....I could forgive, but never forget, and therefore I knew things would never be the same......so I had to move on....
OP sad guy  
6 May 2007 /  #38
yes i understand all that, its good to see this advise from a womens point of view, and i no it will be weird between us but i know we will get throught it, we are oul mates
Craig  
6 May 2007 /  #39
all you people getting after this guy! those with out sin and all that! Im happy you won her back I think it will make you both stronger as this was probably the first time you both contemplated life without each other. I recon you will cheat again though its in you .I know it seems crazy now but you will. you just hate yourself for getting caught . Don't feel bad for too long its your genes.
ukinpoland 5 | 338  
6 May 2007 /  #40
as a wise man once said... if you take a dump in your bed, dont be suprised when you wake up smelling of poo

Even though this topcis a very serious one I cant refrain from laughing at that post. HA HA HA HA HA
Patrycja19 62 | 2,688  
6 May 2007 /  #41
relationships are built on trust, u maybe in for a long haul, lots of patience and
understanding, because she may be looking for more signs later on. and
accusing you later on. it only takes one time to lose that. its something you did, so
you need to keep reassuring.

hope it all works out.. keep chin up and pants too. lol J/k..

I am in Smartarse mode today.
OP sad guy  
6 May 2007 /  #42
na its not like that, once a cheater always a cheater, i have never cheated on any of my other ex girlfriends before. and me and my girlfriend are apart alot of the time. its always like 2 months at a time we are apart. it was a 1 night thing i felt disgusting after it, i know its no excuse stuff happens. and i assure you i will never cheat again
ukinpoland 5 | 338  
6 May 2007 /  #43
If you really love her and you are willing to be patient and be there for her to show that this was a very very silly mistake in a moment(mo insults at your manhood) of madness, then you might have a chance. I havent been through anything like this but I know if a girl did this ti me it would take a very long ime to give her my trust again, it might even involve you doing everything she wants for a while, sorry mate but after what you;ve done you deserve it. Just make sure that if you do get back together there comes a time when you stop having to feel quilty and you are both clear with each other that it is in the past. You dont want to be in this position all your life.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
6 May 2007 /  #44
sad guy, I agree with everyone. Women might feel compelled to forgive and stay with someone at first but as the days go by, the truth starts to really sink in and then the anger starts to grow.

But the good thing is that you've only been together for a year so you're still at a stage where you're both in love. She may want to keep the relationship going because of that. It's bad when you've been together longer and you're not that much in love anymore.
Hueg - | 320  
6 May 2007 /  #45
I could forgive, but never forget, and therefore I knew things would never be the same......so I had to move on....

Better than I Ranj. That's about the only thing I could never forgive.
the traveller 4 | 24  
6 May 2007 /  #46
You had one chance given to you by god to leave this polish gf and start a new life, and you kick your fortune away from you....

what else to say...
shopgirl 6 | 928  
6 May 2007 /  #47
You know, there was a time when I would have said that if a guy cheated, that would be "the end", "we are done", and so forth.

But now, I would look at this situation closer. I would ask myself "did I contribute to this in any way, am I partly responsible"? I would want to see if this was a wake up call to fix something in the relationship that had been neglected, or if the relationship had run out of steam....some anaylsis would be my first task. Then I would weigh up the the good things versus the bad, to see if the loss of trust could be rebuilt or is it not worth it.

I would talk it out and take it slow. But that's just me...

(I know this may not pertain to your particular situation, but I have learned that life is not always "black and white" but a wide ranges of grays).
daffy 23 | 1,500  
6 May 2007 /  #48
That's about the only thing I could never forgive.

me too, trust is gone. and without trust you become paranoid, go nuts, or whatever. the relationship takes an unhealthy turn

But now, I would look at this situation closer. I would ask myself "did I contribute to this in any way, am I partly responsible"?

I know alot of women hold this view - its pyschology. example.

man in a car tries to get out but the door doesnt open
response.
whats wrong with this f**king door?

women in car tries to get out but the door doesnt open
response.
whats wrong with me that i cant open the door?

am i wrong?
sparrow 2 | 243  
6 May 2007 /  #49
Haha, that's funny Daffy :) I can imagine it so clearly in my head
angel eyes 1 | 131  
6 May 2007 /  #50
am i wrong?

no your right i think. when anything goes wrong we tend to blame ourselves. why i dunno probably lack of self asteem
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,506  
6 May 2007 /  #51
isnt it normally your fault tho....?
daffy 23 | 1,500  
6 May 2007 /  #53
isnt it normally your fault tho....?

the point is it doesnt matter - its the outlook of men and women.
it could be the door is faulty or you failed to open it correctly. its your reaction to when it doesnt work as it should
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,506  
6 May 2007 /  #54
and probably in trouble... again...
angel eyes 1 | 131  
6 May 2007 /  #55
isnt it normally your fault tho....?

nope normally its the man making us think its our fault!!!!!
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,506  
6 May 2007 /  #56
seriously... why on earth would we want to do that... women would just get moody and we just get moaned and nagged for the rest of the day... theres no logic to it...
Ranj 21 | 947  
6 May 2007 /  #57
Actually, it is always the mans fault......if they know what's good for them;)
ukinpoland 5 | 338  
6 May 2007 /  #58
seriously... why on earth would we want to do that... women would just get moody and we just get moaned and nagged for the rest of the day... theres no logic to it

oh bubba bubba . Ice , Thin and Skating. <smile R.I.P>
daffy 23 | 1,500  
6 May 2007 /  #59
Actually, it is always the mans fault......if they know what's good for them;)

lol true enough, but this goes back to cheating and trust. how a man may not be as forgiving as a women is down to the psychology - why would women tend to forgive this more?
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,506  
6 May 2007 /  #60
hmmm... now that i think about it... it does always seem to be my fault... hmmm

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