I don't understand why my girlfriend wants to live in crime-prone Krakow

My Girlfriend is a Pole in Krakow. She's intent on living in Poland and wants me to move over to start a life and family there. I am an American, and not all that wealthy. My language skills are poor, and family ties in the USA are strong.

We've come to a point in the relationship where both of us have lived for a few months in each others country. I'm going to have to live in Krakow if things are going to work out. Since returning to the USA, I've been miserable. Honestly, I'm not convinced that a poor American and a poor Pole can make it in Krakow. While I was there this summer three polish men broke the lock on our flat, began stealing my things and even hit me before leaving in a hurry. The Polish family that owns the flat (Only one block from Wavel castle) says this was the third time this year the place was broken into.....

I'm not a pessimist, but.......how can my girlfriend want so much to live in the center of Krakow when crime is so bad? In the USA, I live in a quiet, peaceful town, and don't even have to lock my door.

I'm not judging Poland or Krakow, just want to understand the mentality a little better and it's nice to voice the idiotic things we do on public forums. ;) If you have some thoughts, please add them. If your a hateful Troll, you can also post if it makes you feel better about your sorry life.

-Ramsey

Poland is not a "dangerous" country, i think less than the US, but apparently where you lived it was not that safe...
You can try another place to live (but if you have not a lof of money, it can be difficult)...
Don't know what to say, but i hope you'll find a solution ;) Good luck !

so, she was in the states and didn't like it? you're screwed if that's the case. it's easier here in the US then in PL.

One problem is that she's got it good in Krakow. Her mother provides her apartment and she works only blocks away, in the city center. It is a nice lifestyle as long as you can substain it, But her mother doesn't intend to babysit for life, and the apartment is too small for kids....We're so screwed.. I've got a mathematics job in the US and am not all that crazy about losing my home and car and retirement....but maybe I'll pay some bills forward, kiss my mama good-bye and learn how to spell Slowneczko?

-Ramsey

sloneczko. lol

poles are big on math and you could get a job at Jagellonski U.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Right now I'm considering taking a year of leave from my job and trying to make it work. Half my family is Polish, but we're three generations in the USA, so I don't even know where we came from.

oh i don't know about that being a vote of confidence.. i just wish you the best of luck.. i am not going back.. i like it here.. i am sure i couldn't put up with some of the stuff there but sounds like you're thinking about this hard and i sure hope it works out.. get a baseball bat! LOL

Haha....now you certainly don't sound confident!
-Ramsey

Well i have just moved from the UK to Krakow, i have been coming here for the past 2 years as my fiancee is from krakow. We live in an apartment near opolska, and i know there is some areas of krakow where there is crime, but you should try looking at some other places in krakow because i haven't experience any crime yet.

that's right

ive been here for over a year now and i havent expienced any crime at all, yes you find the few drunks from time to time but if you keep a smart head you be fine. i lived in the so called rough area of nowa huta( north of krakow) and i still had no problems, infact i found more friends in that area than any other. if your prepared to go out and actually make friends with the locals rather than stick to "natives" then you wont be harrassed.

Well i have just moved from the UK to Krakow, i have been coming here for the past 2 years as my fiancee is from krakow. We live in an apartment near opolska, and i know there is some areas of krakow where there is crime, but you should try looking at some other places in krakow because i haven't experience any crime yet.

yes, we got that grizz.. may want to put the vodka down, at least for a minute. :D

put the vodka down.....are you crazy!!!! :D

maybe cos she likes gangsterZZZZZ.... hehe

lol.. i must be.. when you're tyoing double.. it's time to take a little break. :)

It seems to me like your girlfriend does not want to try too hard to do anything. It is good to live close to mommy, walk to work, and if she gets bored with you she can dump you and still will have it good...Not too brave or adventourous. Apart from that it is much easier to learn English then Polish. I would think hard before marrying her.

Oh my...Ramsey, you live in Florida?Been there many times, now that I know it You are out of your mind to move to Krakow. You will be miserable 8 months out of the year. She is out of her mind too.

I have to agree with this. I'm no fan of the US, but you are going to have a much poorer life in Kracow than Florida and the girls sounds like a liability.

Valid points Mika and Peter. The situation isn't simple, but your not wrong.***Sigh***
-Ramsey

Well i didn't realise it was going to double post i do apologise, and well i guess we will see if i experience some crime in the future.

oh come on! The girl has a job in Poland and it's more probable that Ramsey finds a job in Krakow, (as a native speaker - so no qualifications needed )than that she finds a good job in the States( not as a cleaner).

Ramsey writes about his strong family ties and you don't even consider her side of the story!
Krakow is a place that people get addicted to, it has a charm of a typically European old city and to people who love it, nothing seems scary.

Plus I was never robbed, attacked or anything there and I never locked the door, so I suppose the place is cursed, move out of that flat and good luck.

Randompal has some advice for you:

If your girlfriend tried living in the States and didn't like it, do her a solid by trying life in her country (maybe if you end up hating Poland but you still love eachother you can agree on a comprimise and move somewhere else in Europe later).

You can always go back to the States if things don't work out - as you probably well know, one doesnt lose one's citizenship just because one moves to another country for a while.

Why mention that you are poor? You are not poor (Randompal hates that word), just financially troubled. Being financially troubled in America is no different than being financially troubled here - except that here you at least get your healthcare covered, which is one less worry.

As a native speaker of English, you can always make some cash as an English teacher - the pay isn't so bad, Randompal knows many people in Warsaw who make a decent living doing it.

If you move here and it doesnt work out, you can always go home. If you stay home without giving it a shot, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

Randompal logic: An attachment to your country is no different than an attachment to a nice piece of ass. Say good bye and move on but don't burn your bridges, you never know when you may get back together. Countries are like girls, there are quite a few out there that can make you happy, it just depends on who you're with...

By the way: Polish cities aren't as stratified by income (although this is changing) lik American cities are. This means that in one building you can have a desperately impoverished pensioner living next door to an investment banker, and this is especially true in older buildings. If your house is consistently broken into, Randompal suspects any of the following may be true:

1. You or your girlfriend have a big mouth and all the neighbors know/think there is a rich American living there.
2. You have an old door with flimsy locks (a theft-resistant door costs about 1200 zloty and I recommend it for your piece of mind)
3. Your apartment number is 13 and you will be cursed there until you move out (but Randompal is not superstitious)

Good luck, Randompal wishes you a positive and productive stay in Krakow!


Randompal disagrees with this statement, which is not based on fact in the least. Randompal did nicely for himself in the USA with a relatively comfy middle-class lifestyle and Randompal does equally nicely for himself in Warsaw, although a little extra cash would be welcome. Living in America is no guarantee that you will attain financial success, just like it is not foretold that by moving to Poland you will be forced live like a bum.

Thanks Pal!
As for the crime problem, the building is 90% owned by one person, and 4 owners have apartments, then the city has some apartments as well. The 4 smaller owners are constantly having problems but the wealthy owner never has crime problems....

The wealthy owner has a court suite and is trying to force the smaller % owners into settlements that will give him 100% ownership. The situation stinks. Also, one of the city's tenents is an old woman, who's son has moved in with her after getting out of jail. It's no mystery who's informing thieves of peoples habits and time at home/away. This isn't a Polish problem, only a specific situation in downtown Krakow. Also, Polish tenents have complained about break-ins. It's not even a Tourist issue. ;)

-Ramsey

Again, thanks for the input RandomPal.

Ramsey,
I recently moved to Poland as well - my wife is Polish. It's tough in the beginning but gets better as you meet more expats in the same boat as you!(i.e. dating/married to Polish women)

Hang in there - you *can* do well in Poland - partially due to the low cost of living. Your only concern will be luxury items, which in some cases are more expensive than the equivalent items in London(and London is damn expensive).

Regarding crime, every city has it's safe/unsafe areas. But I'd rather bring my kids up here than in the UK.

One final piece of advice - learn to speak Polish ASAP - otherwise the experience will be extremely frustrating...

that's interesting..why?

Quite a few reasons really,
• The education system is better here in PL than the UK
• Polish families are very close and supportive towards each other, and we do not really have the same in the UK. Maybe this is mainly due to a religious catholic upbringing that promotes close family ties.

• My daughter in five-years-old, and I personally think that she will have a better future in PL than in the UK, but she will still have the choice in the future.

• She is being brought up on a farm here in Puławy, and she has a wonderful free life where she can explore her childhood and not bombarded with the constant one-upmanship that is happening in the UK…”I’ve got a better this and that than you”

There are more reasons, but I cannot think of them at the moment and I realise these are personal to our family, but it is refreshing to live in a country where these values of childhood are still strong.

I only hope that they can remain that way for future generations :O)

what's so bad about it?

About the UK?
I worked as a teacher in the education system in the UK and it is like banging your head against a wall, teaching children who do not want really want to learn.

At least here in Poland there is still the importance focused on getting a good education, which the majority of children take responsibility for this on their own shoulders.

You can see evidence of this in the UK where Polish children have raised the average grades of UK classrooms.

Whether this is from pressure from their parents I am not too sure, but I do not think that this is the case, I think it is more likely that it is a cultural trait, and a need to be successful.

However, I maybe wrong! Anyone else got any reasons why Polish children are more academically successful?

my guess is that parents generally tend to neglect them and their academic success less than Brit or American parents. just a guess...

I think you’re on the right lines, although I would say that many people would object to word "neglect" as it is rather negative and I think a "laxity" towards their children’s education would be a more appropriate word :O)