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English man is getting married in Poland - Polish Church issue


Englishking 2 | 5  
2 Sep 2007 /  #1
Im an English man getting married to a Polish girl. The idea is to get married in Poland. We have found a nice venue for the reception. The problem is the church.

Im English, non Catholic and I was not christened. Does anyone know are chances of being able to get married in Poland.

COuld I pretend to be Catholic or christened?? Any ideas will really help.

Thanks

Daniel
telefonitika  
2 Sep 2007 /  #2
COuld I pretend to be Catholic or christened??

No you wouldnt be able to do that and why would you pretend anything thats like not being true to yourself! Normally you get asked questions and maybe you will get asked where you did your baptism ... when was your holy communion and when did you have your confimation possibly .... so you may be tripped up on this score!

Have you sat and spoke about any of this with the person you intend on marrying surely that would be the logical thing to do?!?

If the person you are marrying is Catholic then you would have to conform to the Catholic faith prior to marriage and attend church each saturday and sunday at least 6-8 weeks prior to the date of the wedding.

maybe someone else will be able to give you more an insight on the legalilties of marrying etc
gavin79 3 | 72  
2 Sep 2007 /  #3
Could you not just get married in a registry office ?? surely this would still be legal..
telefonitika  
2 Sep 2007 /  #4
true .. gavin79

its whether the person he is marrying and their family want a registry office wedding though.
gavin79 3 | 72  
2 Sep 2007 /  #5
You are very right, I just figured that it would be even more wrong to consider becoming catholic just to get married.
OP Englishking 2 | 5  
2 Sep 2007 /  #6
I used to go to church (Church of England) a lot as a kid, was taken by my grandparents, but my parents never had me christened as they are not religious.

My girlfriend really wants to get married in a catholic church, 6 of her ciblings have got married at the village church. Her parents will not go to a civil wedding!

Do I have to be catholic to get married in a polish catholic church. We are ggetting mixed stories from the church there. DO I have to be christened?

thanks for your help!
Babcia  
2 Sep 2007 /  #7
hello EnglishKing. One does not have to convert inorder to marry, and you do not have to be baptised in the Catholic Church to marry either. My husband was never baptised and he just signed decree that he would allow me to raise our children in the Catholic Church. The U.S. and Poland have different ideas but the best thing is to talk to a Priest.
princeperema - | 3  
4 Sep 2007 /  #8
talk to your lady on wat she thks or maybe the parents too

sorry i dont even thk u are serious in geting married to this lady in the first place, cos this is not an issue
nauczyciel  
4 Sep 2007 /  #9
this is where religions mess with the people of the planet. Can't do this because of that and can't do that because of this etc.....preach intolerance, but yet the followers hate ppl that are not like them, and think differently.

marriage is a sham anyways.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
4 Sep 2007 /  #10
this is where religions mess with the people of the planet.

exactly yet another part of the world where religion interferes, love, when will people realise that Religion is not the answer and that it serves no purpose
telefonitika  
4 Sep 2007 /  #11
when will people realise that Religion is not the answer and that it serves no purpose

I may be Roman Catholic sweetie but this has no bearings of any kind on the decisions i make in my life never has and never will.
ukpolska  
4 Sep 2007 /  #12
hello EnglishKing. One does not have to convert in order to marry, and you do not have to be baptised in the Catholic Church to marry either. My husband was never baptised and he just signed decree that he would allow me to raise our children in the Catholic Church.

I am an English guy and I was married in a Polish Catholic Church, and the information above is correct because I had to do the same thing, along with getting special permission from the Bishop. But in our case it was easier because the Priest was my wifes uncle lol
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
4 Sep 2007 /  #13
I may be Roman Catholic sweetie but this has no bearings of any kind on the decisions i make in my life never has and never will.

Of course it does!!!! Religion sets rules, you follow the rules of god, so it does in some way determine what you do. Your one in millions of people who are religious, look how many people are brain warped by religion or religious beliefs :)
telefonitika  
4 Sep 2007 /  #14
I dont want to argue with you ... but i was baptised RC .. but nearly 30 years old now Torny and i havent been to church in over 15/16 years so how the FK does tha mean i follow anything.

I AINT WARPED .. sorry but i have just been offended by your comment.
JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A RELIGION DOES NOT MAKE ME INDIFFERENT TO YOU .. in that statement alone you have just offended CATHOLICS .. CHRISTIANS .. JEWISH .. MUSLIMS .. and every other religion well done on becoming public enemy number one.
szarlotka 8 | 2,209  
4 Sep 2007 /  #15
look how many people are brain warped by religion or religious beliefs :)

And look how many people gain comfort from their religious beliefs. One size does not fit all in the real world
Firestorm 6 | 400  
4 Sep 2007 /  #16
look how many people gain comfort from their religious beliefs. One size does not fit all

Its very true that billions of people worldwide are comforted by there beliefs.
I myself am catholic. And a believer.

But its also true that millions have died. Some brutally.
Because of there beliefs.
And that Wars have been fought across the centuries. over religion.

Lets NOT Start one here.......... :)

God doesnt make rules.
He gave commandments.
And the free will to choose to follow them or not.
OP Englishking 2 | 5  
4 Sep 2007 /  #17
Everyone!

I do really want to marry my beloved girlfriend. But I was not brought up as religious as she was. In her village church where her family really want to get married in Poland they are being funny about me not being Catholic or being christened. I will do anything to make her happy, and she and her family want to get married there.

They dont even seem to entertain a wedding there. And the whole thing is causing massive issues with her and her family... I cant help not being christened when I was a kid! nor can I suddenly become catholic!!
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
4 Sep 2007 /  #18
Englishking,

Read post number 13.

Talk to the priest, promise to allow any children to be brought up in the catholic faith and don't take any notice of the neighbours.

If you are not in Poland find a Polish church in your country, England I assume, and talk to the priest there. But do it soon before you have any more problems.

Good luck.
smooth_jazz 7 | 71  
4 Sep 2007 /  #19
I understand your predicament English and I really hope all turns out well for you. I will be going through the same problems as you when I get married to my girlfriend. I have the added difficulty of being divorced. I don't know if it will be possible to get married in a Catholic church in Wroclaw or not. I have a friend there who is engaged to be married and he said to me one time that there is a way, he is also divorced. Let me know how things go for you. How soon do you plan to be married?

Torny, I know you have your own beliefs and opinions on religion, I have seen you speak them on other threads before and that is ok. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if people want to believe in a faith, that is their choice. I happen to agree with Firestorm and I think he really put it best. Anyhow, all I wanted to say is that no matter what your beliefs are on religion, English just came here to get some helpful suggestions on his obviously frustrating situation and your criticism doesn't help him any.
Shawn_H  
4 Sep 2007 /  #20
Read post number 13.

Talk to the priest, promise to allow any children to be brought up in the catholic faith and don't take any notice of the neighbours.

Agreed, worked for me (Edit: here in Canada). I was never baptised / christened either, but a very kind Polish Priest went to bat for us, and made it happen in an RC church.

If the village church cannot open their mind far enough to consider it, could you find a church in a larger city, preferably nearby?

But seriously, you must keep your end of the bargain about the upbrining of the children. Our kids are in and will continue to be in the Catholic school system. We also send them to Polish Language school here in Canada...
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,163  
4 Sep 2007 /  #21
One does not have to convert inorder to marry, and you do not have to be baptised in the Catholic Church to marry either.

True but If he isn't baptised at all then It's rather a problem.

I cant help not being christened when I was a kid! nor can I suddenly become catholic!!

Maybe not suddenly but I'm sure that you can get all the stuff in no more than few weeks.
steve d 3 | 17  
5 Sep 2007 /  #22
A good mate of mine from Scotland managed to get married in a Catholic church in Kielce, and the priest knew he was an atheist.

Think he had been baptised in Church, but surely there's a way round that ?
Kilkline 1 | 689  
5 Sep 2007 /  #23
You dont need to be a catholic. From what I remember we just got some sort of doc from our local polish priest (in London)which gave the go ahead. I had to pretend to him that I thought Catholicism was a really good idea and that I didnt think it absurd to live my life by the morals of several millenia old Jewish myths and legends. He lapped it up, well that and the bribe my wife had to give him.

I'm not sure he saw the irony in him giving us a speech on our future children being brought up with strong christian morals and the fact that we had to bribe him to make it happen.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #24
can a Polish Catholic divorcee get remarried in church in either Poland or another country?
szarlotka 8 | 2,209  
5 Sep 2007 /  #25
It's complicated I believe. I think there has to be an annullment issued by the Catholic Church first but maybe this has changed. There was the high profile Nicole Kidman case where she remarried in a ctaholic church and it was said at the time that her previous marriage has been annulled. As it turned out the Catholic Church had not recognised her previous marriage as it was at a Scientology church.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #26
ok thanks.. well each to their own, but I dont think I am likely to become a Scientoligist
szarlotka 8 | 2,209  
5 Sep 2007 /  #27
I had assumed that you meant remarriage in a Catholic Church Sapphire. If it is any other church (CoE for example) there will be no problems
OP Englishking 2 | 5  
6 Sep 2007 /  #28
Does anyone have any experainces of being to ask for the correct documentation: is certificate of christening ?

Also does the non catholic have to attend marrage preperation classes?

Thanks
ukpolska  
7 Sep 2007 /  #29
Does anyone have any experiences of being to ask for the correct documentation: is certificate of christening ?

As I said they don't check

Also does the non catholic have to attend marriage preparation classes?

No not if you don't understand Polish, at least I didn't have to go to them nor did my other English friend.
silooy  
10 Sep 2007 /  #30
You do not have to be Christened. I got round the problem by having a Polish catholic friend vouch for me that I was not married before. Then with my fiancee we had to sit and answer a whole load of stupid questions (one of which was "are you marrying your girlfriend so that you can get your hands on her farmland").

It was a pain in the ass, but I guess they can set whatever rules they like in their church.

You are supposed to go to the marriage guidance class but can get out of it by saying you dont speak Polish or that you are back in the UK working etc.

By the way, if your inlaws would not attend a civil ceremony, take it as a warning sign that they are mentalists - trouble brewing there for the future.

So, a bit of a hassle, but worth it for a good wedding and for the woman you love.

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