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Posts by Softsong  

Joined: 2 Sep 2007 / Female ♀
Last Post: 16 Sep 2014
Threads: Total: 5 / In This Archive: 5
Posts: Total: 494 / In This Archive: 163
From: USA, Myrtle Beach
Speaks Polish?: No
Interests: History of Poland, psychology, music

Displayed posts: 168 / page 5 of 6
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Softsong   
5 Mar 2009
Language / "non polish characters" [19]

That's what I did Easy_Terran. It's funny when I forget to switch back to English and get a y where I expect a z and visa-versa.
Softsong   
6 Mar 2009
Language / "non polish characters" [19]

Thanks Gumishu,

I have little sticky letters that go over my keyboard. They are clear so you can see the English characters below and it has the Polish characters in blue. One day, I may try the programmers layout, for now at least I do have all the characters.

Have a great weekend! And thanks again.
Softsong   
7 Mar 2009
News / Poland embraces new effort to fight anti-Semitism [138]

When I was a little girl, I had no idea that there was any prejudice against Jews. I had a good friend, named Helene and when our lessons told of the myth some people propagated that Jews had horns on their heads I was simply amazed. We talked about it a little bit. When we left elementary school she signed in my book, "If I had a head of lettuce I'd give a piece to everyone, but save the heart for you."

I also sat next to many German students who were new to the USA and my experiences were all positive. I was surprised when a girl named Lavern whipped out a sandwich of chocolate for lunch (I wished my Mom was that cool to give me a sandwich like that!)

Loved growing up in NYC because we always met people from all over the world.
Softsong   
7 Mar 2009
News / Poland embraces new effort to fight anti-Semitism [138]

Well, I had a German last name, Breitenbach, but sometimes I told people I was half Polish. You could expect a few Polish jokes, but nothing else. There were many Poles and Germans in my neigborhood.
Softsong   
7 Mar 2009
News / Poland embraces new effort to fight anti-Semitism [138]

True enough, but HatefullBunch397 was telling how she sometimes felt when in school because of her Polish name, especially with a German student who treated her unfairly. Not everyone has that same experience, so maybe it helps to know that you have to take each person on an individual basis.
Softsong   
18 Mar 2009
Genealogy / Anybody Know what Knewegvizet could be? [7]

That sure is the truth Polonius3! However, in this case, I believe the person taking the notes for the manifest just badly botched the location and misspelled it. Thankfully, the transcriber did write down the other larger places nearby. Looks like Sochaczow and the district of Warsaw. Gniewniewice was a Hollander community on the Vistuala near Nowy Dwor, so it makes sense given their ethnic background.

Polonius3, I no longer have direct access to the document as my ancestry.com subscription expired. I did print a copy before my subscription expired, but not the best quality. I uploaded what I have to photobucket so you can look at it if you wish. It is entry #11.

i37.photobucket.com/albums/e87/Softsong/EmilSchmidt.jpg

I have located my Polish ancestors in Gniezno (my Mom is Polish). But my Dad's family are ethnic German and Kashubian German people also born in Poland.

I knew my grandfather was born in Rypin, Poland and I traced his family further back to the Lipno area. But this ship manifest is from my grandfather's brother and the place he lists his father (my great grandfather) represents the last known place the family resided.

This kind of surprised me as it is not that far away, but not in the Lipno, or Rypin area.

My grandfather's sister, sometime after this was, I believe, taken by Russians and died. So this might be useful for me to know where her last residence was, in case I can learn more of what happened.
Softsong   
8 Apr 2009
Travel / Poland: What should I look forward to or avoid? Is it fun to visit? [34]

I've been to Poland twice, the last time this past fall and I went alone. I am a lady, and felt entirely safe. Of course, I noted the above safety precautions.

If you have a Polish background, you'll enjoy seeing the country of your ancestors. If you don't know where in Poland they are from, might be more interesting to do a bit of research.

Have fun!
Softsong   
12 Apr 2009
Love / SOS!! I feel a little hopeless with my Polish husband... [58]

If you are not ready to leave him yet. You must go about your business and have a life. Instead of being alone in the apartment with him, and hoping for some "crumbs" of attention, you have fun.

Make friends if you have no family nearby. He is used to being on the computer all day, ignoring you, and you waiting patiently for him. Or arguing about it. Being the suffering good wife will get you nothing. Being a nag will get you nothing.

If you begin being busy without him, having fun on your own, he will notice you are out and he may begin to want your attention. He may want to have some of that fun with you.

If he does, then be the inviting soft, sweet person he enjoys. Things may improve if you stop waiting for him to be with you, and just make a life. He will sit up and take notice.

Nothing will change if you keep doing the same things. You cannot change another person's behavior, but you can change how you react to his behavior. So, react differently. Enjoy yourself and stop begging for his attention. If anything will help, this will do it.

If he just continues to ignore you or get mad that you are out, you should tell him, "I am doing what I need to do to have a life, since you are too busy." If he is violent or does not seem to care, it may be time to tell him that when you married, you expected a partner. He needs to be one, or there is no marriage.

Good luck....let us know how you are doing.
Softsong   
13 Apr 2009
Love / SOS!! I feel a little hopeless with my Polish husband... [58]

You're quite welcome.

It was an ah-ha moment for me. If you always do the same thing, they always do the same thing in response. And nothing changes.

But, by changing how you react, they must react in a different way and that sometimes gets the ball rolling in a positive direction.

He will be surprised to see you busy, active and happy. He may want to be a part of this happiness thing you have going on. He may begin to pay attention to you again.

In any event whether or not he is curious, wants to join in with you, is angry that you are enjoying yourself without him, or continues to ignore you, your life is improved. And you will know if what you once had can be saved, or it is better to end it.
Softsong   
17 Apr 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Yeah, I'm with Shopgirl! This thread was began as lighthearted fun. Southern or someone was always posting pictures of hot ladies and asking who was sexier. So we ladies wanted a similar thread. We got it!

Appreciate the enthusiasm to defend the German ladies, but they are not under fire on this thread. Nor is anybody. It is just fun. We all have different tastes and it's interesting to see who finds who cute! That's all! So, come up with some sexy men! woooohoooo!

I am half German and half Polish so I get to double appreciate all the fellows! What a lucky lady I am! *big grin*
Softsong   
17 Apr 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Yes, the moustache is a bit 70's looking, but I imagine it is supposed to invoke the historical period of the movie With Fire and Sword. He's still gorgeous. :-)
Softsong   
19 Apr 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Wow Daisy! Yeah, I was married for a long time. And you could boil it down that way, BUT.....

I was dating a guy this past year and everything he did annoyed me after that initial glow. At the moment, I am dating another man (who I dated three years ago - he broke my heart), but no matter what he does then and now, I see him with my rose-colored glasses of love.

And I'll probably get my heart broken again, but I am happy and he can belch, fart all he likes. He does my laundry though. LOL :)

P.S. Besides, on this thread all we have to do is take in the eye-candy. In our imagination everything is always perfect.
Softsong   
19 Apr 2009
Genealogy / Are my relatives really Polish or would they be considered Russian? [6]

I am Polish and German by ethnicity, but my grandfather who was ethnically German, was born in the part of Poland controlled by Russia. When he emmigrated to the USA in 1912 he was listed as a Russian. He never considered himself Russian.

When he applied for USA citizenship in the 1930's, he had to renounce his Polish citizenship. He came to America when Poland did not exist, so I when I saw the documents I was surprised. I am wondering since Poland did exist after WWI if the USA was just making sure he renounced whatever place he was from.....Or, maybe he since he still had family in Poland, he somehow received Polish citizenship.

This is an interesting question for me because I was thinking of getting Polish citizenship through my ethnically Polish grandparents, but they came to America when Poland was partitioned and were citizens of Germany. That means they could not bestow Polish citizenship on their children or grandchildren.

Would be funny, if I could get Polish citizenship based on my German grandfather! LOL
Softsong   
21 Apr 2009
History / Where did the stereotype of Polish people being stupid come from? [131]

Living only in the USA, all I have is my own preceptions of where the dumb Pollack idea came from. What Polonius3 said rings most true for me. When I went to university, I was quite surprised to find a book in the university library that was a compilation of letters written by Polish peasants in America to their families back home. It was a sociology study. After a series of different family's letters, the professor wrote an analysis of what was going on. Why the peasant reacted as he did.

So, unfortunately, for perceptions of Poland, it was not the intellectuals that comprised the biggest movements to the USA. It was the poor and uneducated. People who only knew the mores of the villages. It was very bewildering to be in the giants cities of New York, Chicago and suddenly find yourself being trained to work factories. Suddenly see so many things that violated simple village life. Many found that they had no guide to figure out how to behave. Too many choices. Too many people believing different things than what you were taught. The rules of the village did not work in the cities. People drank, they felt disillusioned, and being uneducated, made a bad impression.

Some of the letters I read were comical. I don't have the book on hand. But when I began reading them, I got the impression that this is where the dumb jokes began.

I had to laugh at the ignorance of some Americans when my then Polish boyfriend came to live with me in the USA. He did not have a work visa and got a job under-the-table doing roofing. He was in a masters program for education back home, and was highly intelligent, versed in philosophy and science. Never did any manual labor in his life. And from the high school drop out roofers what did he get? Yep...dumb Pollack jokes.

Very frustrating situation to be in. And sometimes upsetting to me when I tell people I am half Polish and get the Polish jokes. Sometimes I tell one back for whatever ethnicity they are, sometimes I point out something brilliant about Poland that they did not know. Sometimes, if it is funny, I just laugh in good nature.

I do take the time at work to tell people of my interest in my background and all about my trips to Poland. All about the things that people do not know about the Poland of today. All about the bravery of Poles and how they helped this country in its war for independence when it was itself a partitioned country. I would say, that the stereotypes will moderate in time. As with most groups that came to the USA, the jokes continue, but in a more lighthearted way that shows no one really believes them.
Softsong   
23 Apr 2009
History / MONSTERS AND DRAGONS OF POLAND...are there any...? [42]

Here's a link to a good book. It exmines attempts to reconstruct old Slavic beliefs and the ultimate futility of such tasks (and what crops up instead).

It's a great book for someone who's into magic, but may be interesting for some who are into anthropology. However, it is in Polish.

allegro.pl/item613667714_nowy_szamanizm_wojciech_jozwiak.html
Softsong   
27 Apr 2009
Love / SOS!! I feel a little hopeless with my Polish husband... [58]

Yes, find a way to leave him where you can be safe!

There must be shelters in your area. No way of relating to him will change this situation. He is an abuser and they are always nice to you in the beginning and to others. Sometimes they say they are very sorry for what they do to you, and you see the nice side again. But it will get worse and worse. Some woman stay stuck in this pattern hoping to find a way to bring out that nice person again. Impossible to do. He needs to want to change and to go to a professional for help. In the meantime, your safety is at stake.

It is possible no one will believe you since he so charming. Doubly important to just get help from centers that deal with spousal abuse. This is very serious.

Your life may be at risk if you stay with him. Certainly your self-esteem and well-being are already at stake.

P.S. If he has left marks on you, documenting this with photos might be a good thing. Figure out how to do this without him knowing and keep them someplace else. He will be very angry if he finds them, but it will help to establish the truth if you divorce and need proof down the road. Main thing though is get out of there like Krysia said ASAP. Make sure he has no idea you are leaving. Be wise.
Softsong   
27 Apr 2009
History / Heretics Asylum - The First Republic of Poland [50]

On my two trips to Poland, I was interested in seeing the areas where my Polish ancestors had lived, as well as my ethnic German ancestors who bear testimony to the wonderful way that Poland welcomed all those of different faiths needing a home.

They were originally part of the Flemish/Frisian (Dutch) Mennonite groups that came to Poland for religious freedom. At some point, they assimilated with the German Kashubian Lutherans and Prussian Germans.

At this point, the Polish nobles wanted the swamps and forests cleared and with their Dutch/North German ability to reclaim swamp land, they were welcomed in the area around Rypin and Lipno and guaranted the right to remain Protestant.

This link shows the little wooden Lutheran church that my grandmother attended as a child, and the Lutheran church that was built later.

upstreamvistula.org/Parishes/Michalki.htm
Softsong   
1 May 2009
USA, Canada / DO POL-AMS GIVE THEIR BABIES POLISH NAMES? [4]

My friend, Eva (Ewa) was born in Poland, and moved to the USA when she was 16 years old. She had most of her children when she was in her late 30's, early 40's. She named her first son, Shaun.

Her other children are Jakub, Ashton, Symone, and Monique.

My mother was born in the USA and named Joanna. I am Joan. :-)
Softsong   
3 May 2009
History / Who here lost out because of WW2? [9]

In the course of my geneological research, I ran across an old man (ethnic German),who had lived about 30 miles from where my grandmother had lived in Russian-Poland. My grandmother emmigrated to the USA before WWI, but his family stayed in Poland.

I enjoyed hearing his stories of how Polish people and German people got along before WWII. (I am half Polish and half German).

Anyway, they were poor farmers and worked for a Polish nobleman. He recalls that the Polish nobleman had him stay on the manor during the summer to play with his son. The first time he had icecream and went to a movie was with the Polish family.

After a number of years his parents earned the right to their farm. His father was in the Polish armed forces when WWII broke out, and he and his mother were alone. He remembers how they cheered when the Polish planes flew overhead.

During the winter, when Germany was losing the war and the Russians were advancing, he and his mother and their neighbor were told to flee to Germany. All Ethnic Germans were ordered to leave. They put all their clothes layered on their backs and rode the neighbor's horse.

There were bombs exploding, bridges down and people crossing the rivers in wagons and however they could do it. He told me of having to pee and going behind a bush to see a dead man with his eyes open. He was 14 years old at the time. Anyway, with the Pottsdam Treaty in effect they had to leave behind everything, even though they were not part of the Germans who came in with Hitler. Their ancestors had lived in Poland for hundreds of years, and they were Polish citizens.

They made it safely to Germany, but were not fully accepted at first by the Germans as being German, but gradually integrated into post-war Germany. Eventually, he moved to Canada. He tells me that when he hears the German national anthem or the Canadian national anthem, neither move him. It is when he hears the Polish anthem that he feels a sense of pride.

He has had a good life in Canada, but finally in the 1980's he got to go and visit Poland. He looked for his family's old farm, and it was there. Of course, Poles from further east had been settled in his old farmhouse. I wish more people were like him. He never resented them, in fact they had a son of about 14 years of age and he identified with the teen. The family and him have kept in close touch and send birthday and Christmas presents to each other. I think he has become an "honorary part of their family."

I thought I tell this because these threads usually wind up saying that my people suffered more than your people did as a result of WWII. My conclusion is that it was horrible for all. I hope that people can remember, and learn a lesson, but forgive and realize that the people living nowadays did not have anything to do with all the pain and suffering. I am extremely proud of Poland even though I am an American. I admire how it has risen from the ashes so many times and always stood for freedom.
Softsong   
5 May 2009
History / Who here lost out because of WW2? [9]

Thanks Ozi Dan and isthatu2. I was out of town a few days and did not see your comments.

And yes, isthatu2, you're right about many who were at one time ethnic Germans now being completely Polish. Another man that I write to who has a genealogical interest in the same area as me (and is a fifth cousin), found he has Leichnitz relatives still in the area, and they are now known as Lejchmic. And of course, they have married into Polish families over the years.

And Socrates, that is very sad about your family connections being broken. I have something kind of similar, but not so extreme. Since my grandmother who was ethnic German and came to America in 1912, had two brothers and a sister that stayed in Poland, I have lost tract of where they are. Recently, since I am in touch with the descendants of my grandmother's sisters that emmigrated with her, I have been attempting to find my other relatives in Europe.

All I had were unnamed portraits because my grandmother had not labeled them. Evidently, she and her siblings in Europe stayed in touch. When she had a stroke and her home was sold to move into a nursing home, my mother threw out the pictures because they were unlabeled. I retrieved them and always wondered, is that her sister? Or is that a woman who married her brother and where are the children.

Evidently they were expelled to Germany, as that descendant of my grandmother's sister in this country found she had an evelope in her mother's shoebox with an address in a refugee camp in Germany. I've found that one brother's son died, and others lived on, and I have zeroed in an area in Germany where I may find them. Happily, this same lady had all the portraits that I had, but they were labeled and my confusion of who is who was cleared up. And she had other pictures showing grandchildren, etc. So I was happy that some of them lived on.

I am very sorry of your horrible losses. I had a boyfriend from Poland at one time and I learned of all the hardships and losses from him. It breaks my heart.
Softsong   
5 May 2009
Life / Beatles Songs with Polish Lyrics [5]

There is a Polish group called Zuki that is known as the Polish Beatles. I am not sure if they actually did Beatles songs with Polish lyrics or not.
Softsong   
17 May 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Patrycja19, you may have solved the whole energy crisis!! Great idea! LOL

I have to fess up though, bf and I live about 45 minutes from each other, so the laundry thing is more occasional and done when we've gone boating or on a vacation together and before I know it, my stuff is cleaned, dry and ready to go.

However, he is almost always very thoughtful and does things to surprise me. He called me around the time I get off from work and invited me to a delicious homemade Chinese meal yesterday. Good thing it was not a bean dish! ;-)
Softsong   
3 Jun 2009
Travel / Now Gdansk is tipped as a hot spot for 2009 [24]

Even some of the grey, drab "commie" blocks are being spruced up. I stayed with some friends, for a few days and had arrived at night. I was surprised when I woke in the morning because everything used to be grey.

Darn, the file size is too big. I'll have to see if I can resize and post later. Sorry....tried twice.
Softsong   
4 Jul 2009
Genealogy / My genetic ancestry results [11]

Cool! I am glad more people are being tested. I'd like to have more than just my MtDNA done. I am about half Polish and half ethnic German from Poland. My mother's side should reflect the Polish ancestry, but her mother's mother's line were U5 which is most popular in Finland and among the Saami. But that is in the very distant time.
Softsong   
13 Jul 2009
Genealogy / My genetic ancestry results [11]

Thanks for the update. One day I will get around to the autosomal tests and might want to do what you have done, as well.