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Posts by Softsong  

Joined: 2 Sep 2007 / Female ♀
Last Post: 16 Sep 2014
Threads: Total: 5 / In This Archive: 5
Posts: Total: 495 / In This Archive: 163
From: USA, Myrtle Beach
Speaks Polish?: No
Interests: History of Poland, psychology, music

Displayed posts: 168 / page 2 of 6
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Softsong   
23 Apr 2009
History / MONSTERS AND DRAGONS OF POLAND...are there any...? [42]

Here's a link to a good book. It exmines attempts to reconstruct old Slavic beliefs and the ultimate futility of such tasks (and what crops up instead).

It's a great book for someone who's into magic, but may be interesting for some who are into anthropology. However, it is in Polish.

allegro.pl/item613667714_nowy_szamanizm_wojciech_jozwiak.html
Softsong   
21 Apr 2009
History / Where did the stereotype of Polish people being stupid come from? [131]

Living only in the USA, all I have is my own preceptions of where the dumb Pollack idea came from. What Polonius3 said rings most true for me. When I went to university, I was quite surprised to find a book in the university library that was a compilation of letters written by Polish peasants in America to their families back home. It was a sociology study. After a series of different family's letters, the professor wrote an analysis of what was going on. Why the peasant reacted as he did.

So, unfortunately, for perceptions of Poland, it was not the intellectuals that comprised the biggest movements to the USA. It was the poor and uneducated. People who only knew the mores of the villages. It was very bewildering to be in the giants cities of New York, Chicago and suddenly find yourself being trained to work factories. Suddenly see so many things that violated simple village life. Many found that they had no guide to figure out how to behave. Too many choices. Too many people believing different things than what you were taught. The rules of the village did not work in the cities. People drank, they felt disillusioned, and being uneducated, made a bad impression.

Some of the letters I read were comical. I don't have the book on hand. But when I began reading them, I got the impression that this is where the dumb jokes began.

I had to laugh at the ignorance of some Americans when my then Polish boyfriend came to live with me in the USA. He did not have a work visa and got a job under-the-table doing roofing. He was in a masters program for education back home, and was highly intelligent, versed in philosophy and science. Never did any manual labor in his life. And from the high school drop out roofers what did he get? Yep...dumb Pollack jokes.

Very frustrating situation to be in. And sometimes upsetting to me when I tell people I am half Polish and get the Polish jokes. Sometimes I tell one back for whatever ethnicity they are, sometimes I point out something brilliant about Poland that they did not know. Sometimes, if it is funny, I just laugh in good nature.

I do take the time at work to tell people of my interest in my background and all about my trips to Poland. All about the things that people do not know about the Poland of today. All about the bravery of Poles and how they helped this country in its war for independence when it was itself a partitioned country. I would say, that the stereotypes will moderate in time. As with most groups that came to the USA, the jokes continue, but in a more lighthearted way that shows no one really believes them.
Softsong   
19 Apr 2009
Genealogy / Are my relatives really Polish or would they be considered Russian? [6]

I am Polish and German by ethnicity, but my grandfather who was ethnically German, was born in the part of Poland controlled by Russia. When he emmigrated to the USA in 1912 he was listed as a Russian. He never considered himself Russian.

When he applied for USA citizenship in the 1930's, he had to renounce his Polish citizenship. He came to America when Poland did not exist, so I when I saw the documents I was surprised. I am wondering since Poland did exist after WWI if the USA was just making sure he renounced whatever place he was from.....Or, maybe he since he still had family in Poland, he somehow received Polish citizenship.

This is an interesting question for me because I was thinking of getting Polish citizenship through my ethnically Polish grandparents, but they came to America when Poland was partitioned and were citizens of Germany. That means they could not bestow Polish citizenship on their children or grandchildren.

Would be funny, if I could get Polish citizenship based on my German grandfather! LOL
Softsong   
19 Apr 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Wow Daisy! Yeah, I was married for a long time. And you could boil it down that way, BUT.....

I was dating a guy this past year and everything he did annoyed me after that initial glow. At the moment, I am dating another man (who I dated three years ago - he broke my heart), but no matter what he does then and now, I see him with my rose-colored glasses of love.

And I'll probably get my heart broken again, but I am happy and he can belch, fart all he likes. He does my laundry though. LOL :)

P.S. Besides, on this thread all we have to do is take in the eye-candy. In our imagination everything is always perfect.
Softsong   
17 Apr 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Yes, the moustache is a bit 70's looking, but I imagine it is supposed to invoke the historical period of the movie With Fire and Sword. He's still gorgeous. :-)
Softsong   
17 Apr 2009
Love / Polish men vs German men: Who is hotter? [513]

Yeah, I'm with Shopgirl! This thread was began as lighthearted fun. Southern or someone was always posting pictures of hot ladies and asking who was sexier. So we ladies wanted a similar thread. We got it!

Appreciate the enthusiasm to defend the German ladies, but they are not under fire on this thread. Nor is anybody. It is just fun. We all have different tastes and it's interesting to see who finds who cute! That's all! So, come up with some sexy men! woooohoooo!

I am half German and half Polish so I get to double appreciate all the fellows! What a lucky lady I am! *big grin*
Softsong   
13 Apr 2009
Love / SOS!! I feel a little hopeless with my Polish husband... [58]

You're quite welcome.

It was an ah-ha moment for me. If you always do the same thing, they always do the same thing in response. And nothing changes.

But, by changing how you react, they must react in a different way and that sometimes gets the ball rolling in a positive direction.

He will be surprised to see you busy, active and happy. He may want to be a part of this happiness thing you have going on. He may begin to pay attention to you again.

In any event whether or not he is curious, wants to join in with you, is angry that you are enjoying yourself without him, or continues to ignore you, your life is improved. And you will know if what you once had can be saved, or it is better to end it.
Softsong   
12 Apr 2009
Love / SOS!! I feel a little hopeless with my Polish husband... [58]

If you are not ready to leave him yet. You must go about your business and have a life. Instead of being alone in the apartment with him, and hoping for some "crumbs" of attention, you have fun.

Make friends if you have no family nearby. He is used to being on the computer all day, ignoring you, and you waiting patiently for him. Or arguing about it. Being the suffering good wife will get you nothing. Being a nag will get you nothing.

If you begin being busy without him, having fun on your own, he will notice you are out and he may begin to want your attention. He may want to have some of that fun with you.

If he does, then be the inviting soft, sweet person he enjoys. Things may improve if you stop waiting for him to be with you, and just make a life. He will sit up and take notice.

Nothing will change if you keep doing the same things. You cannot change another person's behavior, but you can change how you react to his behavior. So, react differently. Enjoy yourself and stop begging for his attention. If anything will help, this will do it.

If he just continues to ignore you or get mad that you are out, you should tell him, "I am doing what I need to do to have a life, since you are too busy." If he is violent or does not seem to care, it may be time to tell him that when you married, you expected a partner. He needs to be one, or there is no marriage.

Good luck....let us know how you are doing.
Softsong   
8 Apr 2009
Travel / Poland: What should I look forward to or avoid? Is it fun to visit? [34]

I've been to Poland twice, the last time this past fall and I went alone. I am a lady, and felt entirely safe. Of course, I noted the above safety precautions.

If you have a Polish background, you'll enjoy seeing the country of your ancestors. If you don't know where in Poland they are from, might be more interesting to do a bit of research.

Have fun!
Softsong   
18 Mar 2009
Genealogy / Anybody Know what Knewegvizet could be? [7]

That sure is the truth Polonius3! However, in this case, I believe the person taking the notes for the manifest just badly botched the location and misspelled it. Thankfully, the transcriber did write down the other larger places nearby. Looks like Sochaczow and the district of Warsaw. Gniewniewice was a Hollander community on the Vistuala near Nowy Dwor, so it makes sense given their ethnic background.

Polonius3, I no longer have direct access to the document as my ancestry.com subscription expired. I did print a copy before my subscription expired, but not the best quality. I uploaded what I have to photobucket so you can look at it if you wish. It is entry #11.

i37.photobucket.com/albums/e87/Softsong/EmilSchmidt.jpg

I have located my Polish ancestors in Gniezno (my Mom is Polish). But my Dad's family are ethnic German and Kashubian German people also born in Poland.

I knew my grandfather was born in Rypin, Poland and I traced his family further back to the Lipno area. But this ship manifest is from my grandfather's brother and the place he lists his father (my great grandfather) represents the last known place the family resided.

This kind of surprised me as it is not that far away, but not in the Lipno, or Rypin area.

My grandfather's sister, sometime after this was, I believe, taken by Russians and died. So this might be useful for me to know where her last residence was, in case I can learn more of what happened.
Softsong   
7 Mar 2009
News / Poland embraces new effort to fight anti-Semitism [138]

True enough, but HatefullBunch397 was telling how she sometimes felt when in school because of her Polish name, especially with a German student who treated her unfairly. Not everyone has that same experience, so maybe it helps to know that you have to take each person on an individual basis.
Softsong   
7 Mar 2009
News / Poland embraces new effort to fight anti-Semitism [138]

Well, I had a German last name, Breitenbach, but sometimes I told people I was half Polish. You could expect a few Polish jokes, but nothing else. There were many Poles and Germans in my neigborhood.
Softsong   
7 Mar 2009
News / Poland embraces new effort to fight anti-Semitism [138]

When I was a little girl, I had no idea that there was any prejudice against Jews. I had a good friend, named Helene and when our lessons told of the myth some people propagated that Jews had horns on their heads I was simply amazed. We talked about it a little bit. When we left elementary school she signed in my book, "If I had a head of lettuce I'd give a piece to everyone, but save the heart for you."

I also sat next to many German students who were new to the USA and my experiences were all positive. I was surprised when a girl named Lavern whipped out a sandwich of chocolate for lunch (I wished my Mom was that cool to give me a sandwich like that!)

Loved growing up in NYC because we always met people from all over the world.
Softsong   
6 Mar 2009
Language / "non polish characters" [19]

Thanks Gumishu,

I have little sticky letters that go over my keyboard. They are clear so you can see the English characters below and it has the Polish characters in blue. One day, I may try the programmers layout, for now at least I do have all the characters.

Have a great weekend! And thanks again.
Softsong   
5 Mar 2009
Language / "non polish characters" [19]

That's what I did Easy_Terran. It's funny when I forget to switch back to English and get a y where I expect a z and visa-versa.
Softsong   
2 Mar 2009
UK, Ireland / Dublin city centre - interesting places to see [33]

Hi SeanBM,

No, I wanted to do that, but went to the associated smaller group of mounds called Dowth. Just not enough time.

Please do tell us about it! :-)
Softsong   
27 Feb 2009
UK, Ireland / Dublin city centre - interesting places to see [33]

I was in Dublin this past October and enjoyed it very much. After my plane landed, we strolled around the City Center and had a nice supper at a vegetarian restaurant.

I love history so we toured The "Viking" Church (Christ Church), which is right in Dublin. The inside of the church and museum depict the early history of the city, and how people lived in the middle ages.

Also in the City Center is St. Stephen Park, very pretty and near shopping.

We also did some of the ancient burial sites and abbeys, but those are out from Dublin, and would probably be too far. I did not have much time either, just four days, but it was worth using one full day to take in these sites.

Glendalough though, I believe is not too far and I believe the bus might take you to see the surrounding countryside. Have fun and let us know how the trip went.
Softsong   
18 Feb 2009
History / UPA barbarian murders on Polish and Jewish neighbors during WW2 [150]

Maybe BB, he misunderstands what you mean about "having a blind spot" and thinks you are saying that you are ignorant, and chose to stay that way. Although, if he would read carefully you distinctly said the thread was interesting to you BECAUSE you have this gap in your knowledge. And that could hardly be an "enemy."
Softsong   
14 Feb 2009
Love / Younger foreign man dating older polish women ? [28]

And THAT is exactly the type of prejudice that my ex-boyfriend and I had to hear ALL the time. Of course, at that time rather than someone attempting to get into the European Union, it was that he must be with me for a green card to stay in the USA.

Well, heck, he hated the idea of living in the USA and wanted to bring ME to POLAND.

Hardly anyone could accept that a cute, young guy could love an older lady for real. It had to be because she wanted wild sex with a toy boy, or he wanted a green card.

That does happen a lot, but not all the time. And that is why I posted....so that I can help others who face this type of stereotype. And can help people to see that they may be hurting an otherwise happy couple by their pre-judging everyone who falls in love with someone older or younger than themselves.
Softsong   
13 Feb 2009
Love / Younger foreign man dating older polish women ? [28]

I have had a serious relationship with a younger Polish man for three years. I was 50 and he was 21. His parents were not happy about our age difference, but they came to love me and we all got a long just fine. It was a fantastic relationship for both of us. After being together for about a year and a half, he wanted to marry me, but I began to feel guilty since he did want to have children initially. I struggled and decided to see if I could become pregnant. Miraculously I did conceive and lost the baby in my third month. Just too darned old to be able to give him what I wished.

You would not put her through that struggle. You know already you do not wish to have children.

And, your situation is really not THAT much of an age-gap. It is a problem when the man or woman is so young that they have not experienced life yet. Once both are adults, love is ageless.

In fact there is a support site for YM/OW and OM/YW. It's called [agelesslove]. Most of the couples there did not deliberately seek each other out due to an age preference, but they just happened to meet someone that rocked their boat and there was a large age gap. They come looking for support since many times society, friends and family do not understand.

People do understand what they think is primarily a hot sexual combination. So many times I got the "you go girl" thing when for us, we both wished that we were closer in age because we loved each other, and wanted to make a life together.

There are some people like you that just know they have a preference for older or younger and seek it out. There are dating sites that cater to people looking for age-gap relationships. Even regular sites can be useful. Why not sign up for a Polish dating site and see the women in that age group. While they might be taken aback at first, if you treat them like you would any woman you are interested in, you may get a good response.

Or some might think it is just for fun on your part and have trouble accepting that you really want to find a mate in this age group. Since she will not be dependent upon parents due to being established in life, she can move forward IF she falls in love with you, and IF you show her your steadfastness.

I NEVER would have entered into a relationship with my ex-YM, but for 8 patient months he courted me till I realized that you only live once. I am ever so glad that we did get together, even though I believed forever was unfair for him. I perhaps should not have made that decision for him, but I did. Pushing him away was the most painful experience of my life. Now we are still friends and after seven years of no longer seeing each other in person, I visited him this fall. It was an awesome reunion.

I wish you good luck and experience knowing it can work. Especially if the gap is so small. My current boyfriend is 11 years younger than me. We both live in the USA and we are not aware of any gap.
Softsong   
5 Feb 2009
Genealogy / AMERICANS' DEGREE OF POLISHNESS (OR ANY OTHER ETHNICITY) [10]

Probaby 30.

My Dad spoke German, my Mom spoke Polish, that hindered my learning either language, but my Mom and Grandmother spoke in Polish to each other. My Dad and his mother spoke in German to each other. I remember the Polish nursery rhyme my grandmother taught me, and know some basic Polish phrases from my Mom and have learned a few more.

I was not familiar with Polish characters and writing until recently, but can sound most things out and recognize a lot of words. My grandmother read in Polish, my mother could only speak Polish. The 12 noun endings are very confusing to me. I like my nouns to stay in one form. :-)

Foods, grew up eating Polish and East German foods.

Highly interested in the traditions and history of Poland, fairly knowledgeble.

Listened more to German music because my Dad was a musician in a German nightclub called the Lorelei.

Have some Polish art and decor. Folk art like wooden colored eggs, wooden boxes, etc.
Softsong   
1 Feb 2009
News / Peculiar opinions about Poland [33]

Being an older person, I must have received my education at a time when things were not as described above. I did decide a few years ago to go back to college to turn my liberal education into a masters of education.

I found it distressing that a lot of effort went into entertaining kids with subjects. At least that is how it felt to me. But the rational is that not everybody learns in the typical teacher speaks, kids take notes, answer questions and read at home way.

People were more likely to be assigned to a group to do things together. Which seems good, but I found that one student always did more of the work and the others tagged along.

Not sure what the answer is. But even so, any adult who has half a brain can take an interest in the world and learn. I thought everyone knew that Poland was in Europe. I was surprised that a postal clerk of all people would not be sure.
Softsong   
31 Jan 2009
News / Peculiar opinions about Poland [33]

Yes, Maine has towns with the names of countries. Poland, China, etc. It is funny at one crossroad you can see signs pointing to places in the whole world.

Also, to an extent I agree with Marycha that many Americans have a poor sense of geography. But, remember, I grew up with this system as well and I do know the world pretty well. It also depends upon how you apply yourself. And as you say, if the news sources fail to mention a place much or only that they are communists, the interest to be curious about a place is lacking.

And in the part of the south I am living in, there just have been very few Poles to attract interest, as well. When I do tell people about Poland, most are very interested. At work everyone was excited about my trip and could hardly wait to see the travel books and pictures I brought back.
Softsong   
31 Jan 2009
News / Peculiar opinions about Poland [33]

I now live in a part of the USA that has very few Poles. I went to the post office to mail a package and the clerk had to look up the code for the shipping prices. She with a straight face asked, "Is that in Europe?" :-(

But I do guess it is because of the former communism keeping the exchange down between countries, and also because unlike the northeast part of America, there are not many Poles here. That has changed a bit because of the resort area employing Polish college students for the summer vacation.